Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2024

[bluidkiti]

April 15

Quote of the Week

"I may not be much, but I’m all I think about."

If I add up all the time I spend thinking about myself, at least 70 percent of the time I’m thinking (usually worrying) about my future, 20 percent of the time I’m thinking about my past (usually wishing I had made different choices), and about 10 percent of the time thinking about what I should do next. It’s easy to see why I don’t have time for others. I’m busy! And oddly, the more I think about myself, the more miserable I become.

The paradox is that all this self-centeredness isn’t driven by a big ego or high sense of self, although they are certainly contributing factors. Rather, it’s the low self-esteem of alcoholism that fuels my thoughts. This is why most of my thinking is negative and self-defeating. Self-loathing is a core characteristic of this disease, and when combined with self-obsession, it becomes a depressing and deadly combination.

Thank God the program offers me a way out. I was taught early on that self-centeredness is the root of my trouble, and that true recovery comes from thinking about and being of service to others. I’ve found that when I’m focused on others, I’m not thinking about me, and that’s always when I begin feeling better about myself and life in general. And when I feel better about myself, it’s easier to think more about helping and working with others.

[bluidkiti]

April 22

Quote of the Week

"Nothing is so bad that a drink won’t make it worse."

In my limited tool chest of coping skills before recovery, drinking was the number-one solution to my problems. When I lost a job or relationship, straight to the bar I would go. My problems melted away as the warm glow of alcohol went down my throat. After a few more rounds, I entered that “king of the world” state where nothing would ever go wrong again. So secure in that delusion was I that I continued to drink to oblivion. After years of carrying on this way, my original problems soon paled in comparison to the damage my alcoholism caused me.

As I got a little time in the program, I quickly forgot the negative consequences of my drinking. When I was at a restaurant, for example, I saw people laughing and enjoying their drinks. At parties, I saw how alcohol was indeed a social lubricant, and I began to miss the easy times I sometimes enjoyed. And when I had to deal with my problems in sobriety, I was tempted to think a drink would make them easier to address.

That is when my sponsor had me pull out my Step One inventory. In it, I recounted the real consequences of my disease. After sober examination, I realized that at no time did drinking help me; in fact, over and over again, it just made my problems worse. This sobering reminder drove me back to the real solution I found in the Twelve Steps. Today, I know, without a second thought, that regardless of the problems I’m facing, a drink won’t help. It will only make things worse.

[bluidkiti]

April 29

Quote of the Week

"If you stay on the train long enough, the scenery will change."

Whenever I talk to a newcomer, I remember the insanity of my early recovery. I used to talk in endless circles about my problems and about the people, places, and things responsible for them. I went on and on about how I could never stop drinking, and I was convinced the program wouldn’t work for me. I didn’t believe it when people told me, “This too shall pass,” but I was out of options so I kept showing up, hoping the people were right.

It took many months of staying sober and working the program, but things did begin to change. I began feeling better physically, my head cleared, and I became open to a new way of living. As I took different actions, I got different results, and after a while my life improved. More importantly, I developed the perspective of recovery, and I learned firsthand that things do change as long as I’m willing to change first.

Today, I know that I can only keep changing and keep growing if I stay on the train of recovery. No matter what the scenery looks like today (and sometimes it’s not so pretty), as long as I continue to grow along spiritual lines, I know that it will change, and things will get better. This has been my consistent and enduring experience, and I now live by and trust in the knowledge that if you stay on the train long enough, the scenery will definitely change.

[bluidkiti]

May 6

Quote of the Week

"Keep coming back and don’t drink."

I had a lot of problems in my life before I got sober. I had job problems (what I was doing wasn’t exactly legal), I had relationship problems (with everyone from my neighbors to my family to my friends), and I had tons of other stuff I was juggling that caused me constant stress. Oh, and then there was the continuous drinking, the blacking out, and all the mess that went with that. To say the least, my life was complicated.

When I entered the rooms, I couldn’t wait to tell people how much was going on in my life. I told my sponsor, my best friend, and any other poor soul who asked that dangerous question of newcomers, “How are you doing?” What I wanted so desperately was solutions. I needed answers and advice, and frankly an offer of a good job would have been helpful as well. All I got, though, was, “Keep coming back and don’t drink.” What? Aren’t you listening? That wasn’t going to solve my problems. I need some real help!

What I learned, however, was that it took many years for my life to go so wrong, and that it was going to take some time to fix it as well. The most important thing I needed to do was stay sober so that it could get better. What I’ve also learned over the years is that as long as I do keep showing up and going to meetings, I will hear the solutions I need and often just when I need them. In fact, I’ve found that the more I change, the more the solutions that I need change, too. My life has gotten a lot better, but it wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t followed the advice I got early on: “Keep coming back and don’t drink—one day at a time.”

[bluidkiti]

May 13

Quote of the Week

"Those who piss us off the most are our greatest teachers."

In my pre-recovery days, a lot of people, places, and things really pissed me off. To start with, I resented my family for always trying to tell me what to do (thinly veiled as, “We’re just trying to help you”). Schools, jobs, or any other institution that tried to dictate my behavior also pissed me off. I guess you could say I was kind of angry before I got sober.

When I entered the rooms, there was a whole new set of rules to follow (thinly veiled as suggestions), and I transferred my rebellion and resentment to them. Several months into sobriety, while I was still pretty angry, my sponsor told me something I didn’t get at first, but which is a principle I now live by. He told me that whenever someone or something made me upset, it was always because there was something spiritually unbalanced in me.

What I’ve come to understand today is that whenever I get pissed off, resentful, or upset in any way, I can almost always trace it back to self-centered fear. I’m either afraid I’m going to lose something I have or not get something I think I deserve. When I’m spiritually centered, however, and close to my Higher Power, I realize I already have everything I need, and that this essential completeness can never be taken away. Today, when someone pisses me off, I realize that person is just a teacher, and I begin looking within for what I am afraid of.t early on: “Keep coming back and don’t drink—one day at a time.”