Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - June

[bluidkiti]

June 10

Step by Step

Today, whether a veteran or newcomer to the program or how many or few few 24 Hours of sobriety I have, give me courage to trust enough to reach out to share my experiences, worries, fears and foibles. And in so doing, perhaps I can dent the wall of self-isolation that I built in my drinking days but might still stand despite putting those drinking days in the past. Self-imposed isolation and loneliness became habitual because of alcohol, and the habit of being constantly on guard might remain a formidable one to change. Let my history remind me that, when I first came to the program, I was greeted by people who made me feel less helpless, less hopeless, less afraid, less lonely. If now I grapple with some issue that I don't think anyone would understand or wants to be saddled with, let me realize that the weight of what I carry might lessen if for no other reason than receiving support from the same people who welcomed me when I gave up alcohol. Today, left me chip away at the wall of any self-isolation that remains. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PEOPLE-PLEASING

Formula for failure: trying to please everyone.

~ Anonymous ~

It has done us no good to set standards we could not reach. On many occasions, we adopted goals that couldn’t be reached from the beginning. We allowed our identities to become tied in with pleasing people. If we suffered rejection, we collapsed into a quivering heap. Each time we wrapped ourselves up in a package for someone to pass judgment on, we set ourselves up for failure.

We know we are not God. We must realize no other human being is God, either. We can't ask any person to judge us. We can't judge anyone else. The foundation of our Program is the decision we made in Step Three to turn our wills and lives over to the care of God. This is the formula for success. Try pleasing God, not other people.

I can't build my life and recovery on always trying to please others. My road to success is pleasing my Higher Power.

©1990 by Anonymous. All rights reserved. Published by Hazelden.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I felt angry toward my friend.
I told my wrath. My wrath did end.
I felt angry toward my foe.
I told him not. My wrath did grow.

~ William Blake ~

A basic fact of our human nature is that expressing our feelings helps resolve them. When we push them down or keep them hidden, we preserve them and save them up, and sometimes the pressure only makes them grow. Many of us are afraid that expressing our feelings will make things worse. We have learned that we are capable of suppressing our feelings to smooth situations over. However, those feelings come out later, either through uncontrolled outrage or as problems with our health.

A good relationship only grows deeper and more trusting when we express our feelings to each other. It may feel awkward or risky to tell a loved one that we feel hurt, but when we say it respectfully, we can expect a respectful reply. When we have good methods of communication, our relationships grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.

When I feel anger, I will express it respectfully.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Pain and chaos in my life gives me a chance for transformation.

~ Carlotta Posz ~

Most of us are sharing this recovery journey because the pain of chemical dependency had become more than we could bear. If the pain had been more easily tolerated, we would have continued drinking or using other drugs, perhaps for many years. Today we can be grateful for that pain. We can see the daily evidence of what this new way of life means. We are being transformed.

But what about the pain we feel when we fail to get a job we want? Or the pain we feel when a relationship dissolves? It’s not easy to remember that these pains, too, promise us growth and transformation. We may fail to remember that our Higher Power is in charge and that the sometimes painful changes are part of God’s plan. We’d have changed very littie if left to our own devices.

Trusting God to continue charting our course sometimes feels painful, but only until we remember that the pain means God is nudging us into growth.

If I am feeling some pain today, maybe God thinks it’s time for me to make some changes. I will try to under-stand God’s will throughout this day.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to know my moods

I'm not sure what's going on. I worry that I'm heading for more problems. Even though I'm abstinent, going to meetings, and taking my meds, I have these bleak stretches of two or three days. They're getting me down.

But a fellow program member gave me a good tip. She said that when she feels bad and doesn't know why, she takes time out to carefully review the day (or the past couple of days). She lists each emotionally significant event and asks herself how she feels about it, particularly about her part in it. We talked further and I saw how this process could help me learn what I've been thinking so I can understand what I'm feeling. Then I'll be able to decide what, if anything, to do next.

Today I will sit down for five minutes to practice listening to my thinking and try to learn what I'm feeling.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I'm finally learning how to take care of myself.

~ George P. ~

Giving to others is perhaps the most gratifying feeling of all. We get so much more back from others — thanks, self-esteem, that warm glow we all love. So why don’t we thank ourselves that way? Are we ungrateful for the loving gifts we bring to ourselves? Is someone else’s opinion of us more important than our own?

We can turn that around, learn to give and accept self-gifts as graciously as we give to others. We can begin by offering some praise for the good things we do for ourselves. Good nutrition can be a boring grind, or it can be something we give to ourselves to strengthen our bodies. Tasks to complete can fill us with dread, or we can think ahead to how good we’ll feel afterward to have accomplished so much.

When we’re willing to admit we’re worthy of love we begin to be able to do these small things for ourselves. We begin to recognize how loving we are, and we bring that joyous new love to others, too.

Today help me to give and accept love freely.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I read somewhere that everybody on this planet is separated by only six other people. Six degrees of separation between us and everyone else on this planet. The President of the United States, a gondolier in Venice, just fill in the names.

~ John Guare ~

Six degrees of separation—a concept originally conceived by Frigyes Karinthy and made popular by play-wright John Guare—refers to the idea that socialization in the modern world has resulted in ever-increasing connections. It becomes apparent that people are more linked with one another than they realize.

Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and other social media pro-vide places for discovering and enhancing such connections. They are like technological coffee shops where people feel comfortable gathering together to share their personal lives. But sometimes this sharing can be too open and too personal. The pseudo-anonymity afforded by social media sites can present serious issues with privacy. This is especially true for members of Alcoholics Anonymous.

It is especially important to safeguard the anonymity of others on any social media sites you frequent. While you may choose to discuss thoughts, feelings, and opinions of your own, you should never include the names of other program members or information about them or their lives.

Today I will respect the confidentiality of others in the program.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I wish there were windows to my soul, so that you could see some of my feelings.

~ Artemus Ward ~

Wouldn't it be great if people could see our feelings? All we'd have to do is walk into a room and someone could say, "l see you're feeling sad right now. Let me help you."

Many of us grew up expecting people to be mind readers. Without voicing our feelings or asking for help, we believed people should be able to see how we felt. When they didn't, we usually became angry, hurt, or depressed. Until someone pointed this out to us, we never recognized how silent we were and how great our expectations were of others.

Unless we voice our feelings, they will never be heard. And unless we ask for help, we will never get assistance. The people in our lives have ears to listen and arms to hold us−if we choose to open the windows to our soul.

I can tell someone how I feel. I can ask for help if I need it. If those around me seem to be upset, I can be there for them but I will not try to be a mind reader.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being foolish

Many of us could say that what we have gained from this program we’ve gained in spite of ourselves. We get in our own way and often block ourselves from our Higher Power and fellow addicts. In the beginning, we did foolish things such as going to places where drugs or alcohol are used, deliberately setting ourselves up to take that first drink or drug.

Even when we make such mistakes, God still accepts us. We can still choose to pray and ask for help. Even with our foolish moments, in spite of ourselves, God will help if we ask.

Am I becoming less foolish these days?

Higher Power, help me become more aware of my own foolish thoughts, and help me avoid acting on them.

Today I will try to stay out of my own way by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

There’s someone who comes to my favorite meeting, sits in the front, and always puts his hand up. When he gets called on, I groan inwardly. I think he’s mentally ill. He tells wild, unbelievable tales of his past, an exaggerated mix of fame and glory, degradation and violence. This man ruins the meetings. I don’t understand how other people put up with him or why they keep calling on him.

Sponsor

In the course of recovery, I’ve heard sharing I found obnoxious. I’ve taken others’ inventories all through some meetings. This one doesn’t belong, that one talks too much, another gives unsober advice. Worse, the chairperson won’t cut these nuisances off. Shouldn’t there be more rules?

In fact, we do have simple suggestions that we trust people to follow. Our most important suggestion is that members have a desire to stop drinking (or using food, drugs, codependency—whichever addictive substance or behavior is the focus of a particular fellowship). Another, from the guidelines of most groups, is that no one may disrupt a meeting.

If a meeting can continue without fanfare or judgment, then no one’s thoughts are “disruptive.” It’s not up to us to say who qualifies to be in a room of recovery; we can decide that only about ourselves. Over time, I’ve become more tolerant of others’ eccentricities. I’m grateful that my own differences, too, are accepted in this place of unconditional love.

Today, I keep the focus on myself and my recovery. I make a commitment to begin to know myself more intimately.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The man who has the greatest trouble in getting our program is frequently the man who is above the average in education. He tries to open the door to our philosophy of living with his Phi Beta Kappa key. It just won’t fit.

The man who enters our door convinced that all he knows hasn’t been enough to keep him out of difficulty, who is willing to unlearn all those things he knows that are not so, and who, in humility, is willing to open his mind in heart to the simple wisdom of those who have succeeded where he has failed, is almost a sure bet.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

SURRENDER PRAYER (OXFORD GROUP, 1934)

I surrender to You my entire life, O God.
I have made a mess of it, trying to run it myself
You take it‒the whole thing‒and run it for me,
According to Your will and plan.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CAN HAPPINESS BE FOUND?

Volumes have been written on the secret of happiness, but I like the simple old story that has been told so often. In the old days, there was a king who was so miserable and unhappy that he called together all of his soothsayers, magicians, and other court advisers to find a remedy. They tried all sorts of methods to rouse the king out of his deep despair−but alas, to no avail. Finally, one of them suggested that a search be made for the happiest man in the kingdom, for it was thought that if the king could put on the man's undershirt, he would become happy too. In due course, the happiest man in the kingdom was found. But, of course, he had never even owned an undershirt. His happiness sprang from within.

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Pig of God

Trust would settle every problem now.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

As a man was driving around a dangerous hairpin mountain curve, a woman in a little red sports car tore around the bend from the opposite direction, cutting him off and forcing him to veer off the road. To add insult to injury, as the woman sped by, she yelled “Pig!” Furious, the man shook his fist at her and shouted, “Sow!” He kept going around the curve, where he ran into a pig sitting on his side of the road.

Sometimes when it appears that life is attacking us, it is trying to help us. Those who challenge us bring us valuable life lessons that we might miss if we are caught up in feeling insulted or unappreciated. Imagine that everyone you meet is here to assist you to go deeper into your wisdom, healing, and joy. Do not be fooled by appearances; use your higher vision until you find gold.

When I attended a lecture by Ram Dass, he announced that several people in the audience needed rides to a nearby city. When no one in the auditorium raised their hand to offer assistance, he added, “And the person you take in your car may be the Christ or Buddha in disguise." Immediately, half a dozen hands went up! Cultivate the ability to say, "Thank you for everything," and you will find that everything is a gift.

Open my vision to see the gifts I have been missing.
Open my heart to love in situations I judged as unlovable.

I name all things "good," and I welcome life as a brilliant teacher.