Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - June

[bluidkiti]

June 22

Step by Step

"Headstrong and willful, I rushed from pleasure to pleasure, and found the returns diminishing to the vanishing point. Hangovers began to assume monstrous proportions and the morning drink became an urgent necessity. 'Blanks' were more frequent, and I seldom knew how I'd got home. When my friends suggested that I was drinking too much - they were no longer my friends. ...With a creeping insidiousness, drink had become more important than anything else. It no longer gave me pleasure - it merely dulled the pain - but I had to have it. I was bitterly unhappy." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("Women Suffer Too"), p 226.

Today, ask truthfully if the "benefits" of drinking have been obliterated by the consequences - hangovers, drinking out of necessity with no choice, blackouts, loss of friends who suggested we had a problem, drinking to self-medicate. If in the end I concede that I depend on alcohol for pleasure or as a solution to some state of mind like anguish or loneliness, I cannot deny that I am addicted if only emotionally or psychologically. That, by definition, makes me an alcoholic. Today, then, I seek the courage and strength not to reject friends or acquaintances who are worried, and I pledge to seek solutions other than alcohol to my psychological pain and unhappiness. And, today, the solution is no farther away than a local AA group. Today, I make the call. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE OLDER MEMBER

Older people are always young enough to learn, with profit.

~ Aeschylus ~

An older member who has a desire to live in moderation in all things has as much need for recovery as a young person who surrenders and accepts their problem. When someone has the spiritual experience that gives them a chance for a second life, they know it's never too late to begin to change lifetime habits.

Many an older member has decided that they not only can save their lives, but that they can make those lives worth saving. They are determined to shake the bondage that addiction has created. With determination they plan to add years to their lives and life to their years.

There is no generation gap in recovery from addiction. One of the miracles is that both young and old can find a mutual caring and understanding once they surrender to a common reality.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A man of faith does not bargain or stipulate with God.

~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

When we finally admitted that we were powerless over the substance or behavior of our addiction or codependency, we had already covered a lot of ground. Most of us had suffered great personal despair, defeat, and self- hate before we could see our problem for what it was. As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, we, too, had “tried to find easier and softer ways, but we could not.” We bargained with ourselves and with nature, saying we would cut back or we would abstain for a period of time. Nothing short of total, unconditional acceptance of our powerlessness could release us from the grips of our problem.

The paradox of this surrender to reality didn’t strike us until later. Surrender to the truth is liberating. As long as we admit our powerlessness daily and never again try to bargain ourselves into a position of control, we are free to become the kind of men we respect and to have the respect of those we love.

Today, once again, as if for the first time, I admit my powerlessness and throw myself on the grace of my Higher Power to restore my spirit.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Even when you find out, you never really know.

~ Julie Riebe ~

There are very few absolutes. Yet we can safely assume the sun will rise and the earth will continue its rotation. We can be certain that we have a Higher Power who has always loved us and will continue to. Likewise, we can be certain that the fellowship will always be available to us and that God will never give us more than we can handle.

Experience has shown us, however, that many things we thought we knew and could count on have faded before our very eyes. Opinions change, relationships end, circumstances develop, God’s plan intervenes.

Not really knowing what lies ahead lends an air of excitement to our lives. Trusting our Higher Power to walk us through every experience means we don’t have to worry about an outcome. Letting God be in charge promises us freedom from worry. This is an absolute we can count on.

There is only one thing I need to know today: God is present to help me. I can count on this with absolute certainty.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to manage my urges

I can hardly think straight. I feel sick. I feel a deep physical need to get high. It scares me. At moments like this, I almost want to throw away all these weeks of being clean. But then I remember how difficult it has been just getting this far. And if I let go now, I'm afraid I'd fall into a depression again. I want recovery.

With the help of my higher power, I can hold on. This too shall pass.

I will be sure to go to a meeting or call my sponsor when I feel urges to use.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Happy Monday.

~ Carl Malin ~

Most of us, even if we have to work weekends, are thankful when it’s Friday. We look forward to the break in our routine, to sleeping late or going out in the evening. Our schedules tend to be different on weekends; there’s time to relax, time to worship in a formal setting if we choose.

So how can anyone say, “Happy Monday?” It depends on how we view our work. If our work is meaningless or boring it’s difficult, to say the least, to return to it, but in time our recovery can help us find work we enjoy. And for many of us, work is an essential part of life. It helps us feel we belong to something greater than ourselves, and that we are contributing to the health of that greater something, which in turn contributes to society at large. And we’re compensated with a salary, or satisfaction, or both.

Every day, even Monday, is a gift, given to us without charge and offering us a chance to create happiness.

Today help me be grateful for every day I am given.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

You can always trust information given you by people who are crazy; they have an access to truth not available through regular channels.

~ Sheila Ballantyne ~

Sometimes you may feel that your sobriety is going really great. You may rarely think about your addiction or experience any cravings.

Other times you may feel that all you do is think about having a drink. You drive by a liquor store, and your hands squeeze tightly on the wheel. It takes all of your power not to turn into the parking lot. Or you see a beer commercial on television and think about it so much that you can almost smell it and taste it.

Even though you are striving for total honesty in your life, sharing such thoughts with those who are not in the program is not a good idea. Telling your spouse that a beer would sure taste great with dinner or making a joke about almost stopping at a liquor store will not instill trust in your commitment to sobriety. Even confiding in a friend who is not an alcoholic how much you wish you could drink again will deprive you of the support you really need. Only another recovering alcoholic will truly understand the peaks and valleys of sobriety.

I trust that those in recovery will provide me with the support I need to overcome a craving.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

One must do more, think less, and not watch oneself live.

~Sebastien Roch Nicolas de Chamfort ~

A talk show host was interviewing a new starlet. Every time he asked her a question she watched herself in the monitor, listening more to herself than to him. Midway through the show, she was totally flustered trying to watch herself and keep up with the show's progress.

At times we may be so focused on ourselves that we are unable to see anyone else. We soon become our own greatest fans, watching only ourselves and listening only to our own thoughts. Reflecting on today, we may be conscious of how much time we spent talking about ourselves or focusing attention on ourselves and our issues.

We can start to change this behavior. Instead of spending a few hours focused on us, we can focus on a hobby, a book, a movie, or a family member. We aren't so important that we need to keep a constant watch over ourselves. There are a lot more important and more interesting people, places, and things to see.

I can stop watching myself and start noticing others. Higher Power, help me discover the world around me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Overcoming loneliness

Chances are, we considered ourselves loners when we came into the program. Some of us had divided the world into the people who hated us and the people who didn’t like us very much. Some of us felt very alone even though we knew people liked us.

We never have to be alone again, however. By staying sober and clean, the walls we built around ourselves gradually come down.

Have I stopped being a loner?

Lord, help me to do what I need to do to never be alone again.

I will avoid loneliness today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

More of me comes out when I improvise.

~ EDWARD HOPPER ~

Newcomer

Lately, I’ve been wanting to try all kinds of things that I haven’t done since I was a kid, or that I never did at all. I feel drawn to paint sets, puzzles, even some toys and stuffed animals. What’s happening to me? Is recovery making me childish?

Sponsor

Leave it to us addicts to think that there’s something wrong with us if we dare to feel happy. How delightful to feel drawn to childlike pleasures. We may be learning to take ourselves less seriously, at last.

There’s a big difference between childish and childlike. Play nourishes the life force. We never outgrow our need for it. In recovery, the sense that life is dark—nothing but problems, problems, problems—begins giving way to lightness. Our natural energy and curiosity come bubbling up from our spirits. What a change from the heaviness we felt when we first got here!

It’s important for us to set aside some time to do things that aren’t productive and goal-oriented. If we’re interested in looking, we’ll find peers in recovery who can help us dream up sober ways to lighten our hearts.

Play is food and exercise for the spirit. If we make time for play, we can approach the serious demands of our adult lives with rested, lively minds.

Today, the time I give to play makes work easier.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many members of AA refer to their entrance into our fellowship as a passing from adolescence to maturity. When we take this step we should cease thinking as children and begin to think as adults.

Remember how you wanted what you wanted when you wanted it, and cried like hell when you didn’t get it? The advice of wiser and saner folks fell on deaf ears and we persisted in having our way even though our way was killing us.

A child thinks with its appetites while a mature person thinks with his head. We all know what class we belonged in.

Drunkenness is unthinkable for a thinking person.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

MY DESIGN

God, my purpose is to help others.
Give me this work,
Till my life shall end
And life
Till my work is done.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE LINK OF LOVE

Will you meet your relatives and friends when you go over? Where there is a strong emotional link either of love or hatred there is likely to be a meeting. Where there is a strong link of genuine love there is sure to be a meeting. Where there is no particular feeling between two people there will not be a meeting. There is a real danger that if you allow yourself to indulge in hatred of anyone, you will meet when you have both passed over. To prevent this happening, destroy the link by ceasing to hate.

The so-called dead are very sensitive to our thoughts, and for this reason excessive grief is to be deprecated. It saddens them and prevents their focusing their attention as they should upon the new life that they are starting. Of course, it seems very hard to tell people not to grieve when one whom they have dearly loved passes out of sight, but remember that if there is a link of love you will certainly meet again, and that nothing that is good, or beautiful, or true' can ever be lost.

We can pray for those who have passed on, and indeed it is a sacred duty to do so. The practice was generally discontinued after the Reformation because it had been greatly abused and commercialized, but, nevertheless, it is an excellent practice in itself. Realize peace of mind, freedom, and understanding for them.

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you (John 14:2).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond Velveeta

Living out your dreams can be more therapeutic than analyzing them.

~ Advertisement for a Hawaiian hotel ~

Two psychologists were walking down a corridor when they passed one of their colleagues. The fellow smiled, greeted them with a "Good morning!" and continued on his way. As soon as the man passed out of earshot, one psychologist turned to the other and said, "l wonder what he meant by that."

Many of us have been involved in self-analysis, introspection, therapy, and processing our relationships for a long time. There is no end to emotional processing; some of us have been more processed than Velveeta. There comes a time when we must quit trying to figure it all out and just go out and do something. While delving into our subconscious motivations is valuable, eventually we must extricate ourselves from the caverns of analysis and start to live. We will learn more from doing than trying to figure it all out.

Woody Allen quipped, "When I went into psychoanalysis, my biggest fear was that I would emerge with the personality of a l9th-century Jewish Viennese neurotic cocaine addict. Now after eight years of therapy, I would have gladly settled for that!" In his movie, Sleeper, Allen is accidentally frozen in a hospital and wakes up 500 years in the future. When the technicians who revive him tell him what year it is, he exclaims, "My God! I'd almost be done with therapy by now!"

The goal of therapy is to get us up and functioning. Therapists or patients who make a religion of keeping the patient in analysis forever have substituted the form for the goal. The best therapists are those who encourage patients to live their own lives, make their own decisions, and move on to the next level. It's time to get on with life, which will teach us in joyful ways as we live from celebration.

Give me the simple heart of a child that I may enter the kingdom.

I trust life to reveal my riches to me.