Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - June

[bluidkiti]

June 23

Step by Step

" ...(W)e deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find Him now.
'Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 ("How It Works"), pp 58-9.

Today ..."with complete abandon." If I stand "at the turning point," I am be there because the ideas, methods, ploys and "half measures" I used to control or stop my drinking didn't work. And because I haven't come up with a better idea, what is there to lose by surrendering "with complete abandon," surrendering to the First Step, that "(I am) powerless" and to a power greater and stronger than alcohol - and stronger than myself? Moving in the program "with complete abandon" is no "easier, softer way," certainly. But holding onto what I have tried and has failed is guaranteed to make my way progressively harder, maybe eventually fatal. Today, I surrender "with complete abandon." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

Spirituality is the ability to get our minds off ourselves.

~ Anonymous ~

The early days of recovery were a strange time for us. There were so many new things coming into our lives all at once. Everything was whirling. We stuck close to our sponsor and home group. We needed a touchstone to make sense out of what was happening.

The early days of recovery were times of physical healing. We knew we were sick. Some of us didn't realize how sick we were. We went slow and kept our eyes, our minds, and our hearts focused on our First Step.

We didn't find instant spirituality in those days. That was O.K. There would be time enough for that; first, we had to get started. After time on the Program, after we had worked some Steps, we were asked to get our minds off ourselves. This was the time when we started making progress with our spiritual lives.

I have learned that spirituality is the ability to get my mind off myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I’m as pure as the driven slush.

~ Tallulah Bankhead ~

There is something to be said for claiming our imperfection and wearing it proudly. There is so much more freedom and health in imperfection than in the stifling and unreal drive to be perfect. When we decide to put the shame and dishonor of our misbehaviors behind us, we are tempted to think that the opposite extreme would be better, but it is not. Instead of striving to be perfect, let us accept our imperfection. Instead of trying to climb to the top of the ladder of perfect actions, let us accept that we will make mistakes and that no honest man will ever reach that point. Let us strive instead to keep returning to our standards.

Many of us have said that living one day at a time is too much for us. We tell ourselves that we are just going to live this day, but a half hour later we are worrying again about the future. We have to keep reminding ourselves to live one minute or one hour at a time. That is the attitude we adopt when we accept our imperfection. Instead of expecting to hold to our standards perfectly, we simply keep returning to them.

Today I embrace my imperfection, and when I veer off course, I will keep returning to my path.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Growth always comes for me through struggle and challenge. I have learned it is worth the effort to gain insight and personal strength.

~ Michele Fedderly ~

We seldom enjoy challenges while in the midst of them. Even though we have gained the wisdom to understand that they will have value to us, we generally fail to appreciate them as they unfold. Let’s not fault ourselves for that. We are doing the best we can. From this program we are discovering a whole new way of seeing our lives, and it takes time to fully incorporate this new vision.

We are destined to grow—our “assignments” will ensure that. We can be certain that some of them will be difficult, at least briefly. We can be equally certain that our pain will leave us just as swiftly as we reach for the hand of a caring companion. We are not on this journey alone. Look around. Our companions are everywhere, and we can help one another.

I am surrounded by women who do want to help me today. I will receive support and guidance every time I ask for it.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to be honest

I am glad I'm now in the Twelve Step program, a program of honesty. Before, I couldn't admit that I had a problem with chemicals. I kept this and other secrets from others‒and myself. Eventually I could no longer tolerate the lies. I realized how much I disliked myself for telling them.

Denial and lying have kept me in my disease. But when I am honest, I am free and I like myself. When I am honest I truly know who I am and others know too. I can look people in the eye. Honesty gives me strength.

I will practice honesty today when taking my daily inventory.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Our acceptance of life grows steadily in recovery. Faith and trust, two natural foundations of sobriety, help us nurture a healthy flexibility. If we consider recovery as a weaving, we can imagine the strands of hope, joy, serenity, willingness, and surrender which we intertwine to form flexible strength. It helps, in times when we need to bend with the tide, to acknowledge the inner power of this fabric. With the help of our Higher Power, we can travel smoothly through transitions, and weather the stress of disappointment, rejection, loss, frustration, anger, shame, and remorse.

Life, of course, will go on being itself, and we will always face obstacles. But our old rigidity in facing life’s obstacles will no longer cripple or paralyze us. We are learning balance and finding serenity. We are learning to accept, to detach, and through our Higher Power, to have faith.

Today let me gain more balance by learning to stand firm as well as to yield.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.

~ Mohandas “Mahatma” Gandhi ~

Our society favors gadgets designed to help people reach their goals while exerting the least amount of effort in the shortest period of time. So, you can stay in touch with friends and family through instant messaging. You can watch your favorite movie by downloading it onto your computer. You can trim inches off your thighs and bottom simply by walking around the house in specially engineered sneakers. With so many time-saving devices in existence, you may wonder why your recovery cannot move with similar rapidity.

The truth is, instant messaging does not offer you the same give-and-take exchange as does a conversation over a cup of coffee. Watching a movie on your computer does not give you the opportunity to meet up with friends at the movie house. And specially designed body-trimming sneakers do not provide you with truly aerobic exercise.

Recovery has been, and always will be, a process that takes time. There is no special mechanism that will accelerate your rate of progress, nor are there any magic sneakers that will reshape your mind, body, and spirit. Recovery provides you with the tools, but you need to do the work.

The tools of recovery are not magic, but are guaranteed to work through time and effort.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.

~ Charles M. Schulz ~

To ride a ten-speed bike, we need to learn to use the gears. If we're going uphill, we should know what gear eases the climb. If we're going downhill, we should know what gear best uses the slope of the hill.

The Twelve Steps of the program are like the bicycle gears. If we know the purpose and benefit of each Step, we can use them to ease our way. Sometimes life may feel like an uphill climb. Steps Two and Three teach us to call on our Higher Power for help. If we're contentedly coasting on a wonderful slope, then others may benefit from our strength and hope if we use Step Twelve. If we're struggling to change our behaviors or character defects, then Steps Four, Five, and Six may ease our struggles.

If we use all the Steps when we need them, we will never have to struggle again. But if we ignore them like never-used gears, they will become rusty and unproductive. Proper maintenance means we must use everything frequently in order to get the best benefit. We must use the Steps as much as we can.

Do I need to study the Steps more so I can use them better?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Becoming patient

Let us not rush and demand perfection all at once; it would only blind us. If we are impatient, it is impossible to work a daily program; but if we are patient, we can learn to see our daily opportunities for growth.

We can’t develop a new relationship with our Higher Power overnight. It is worth waiting for, striving for. Let us not go too fast but simply count each day as an opportunity.

Am I learning patience?

Higher Power, I pray that I may be patient as I work my program and develop a relationship with you.

Today I will practice patience with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Those who have known grief seldom seem sad.

~ BENJAMIN DISRAELI ~

Newcomer

I’m in limbo. My old life has ended—I know I can’t be that person any more—and I don’t really have a new life yet. I’m afraid that this program may turn me into someone that I won’t be able to recognize.

Sponsor

We haven’t lost ourselves; we’ve taken down the barrier to fulfilling our real natures. The addictive part of ourselves that we knew best, felt most at home with, is gone. We have feelings akin to those of a person mourning for a loved one, but we may not feel comfortable sharing about our loss. We may be especially reluctant to say anything that might sound as if we miss our active addictive use or behavior. We may hide how we’re feeling from ourselves as well as from others.

The loss of our addicted selves is, though necessary, nonetheless painful. We can’t get beyond it without first taking time to grieve and to acknowledge what we’ve left behind. What did we love and depend on? What would we like to keep? What are we willing to bury? Sharing our grief out loud with someone we trust is optional, but it can be a powerful means of releasing the tears we need to shed.

Today, I say good-bye to my past life, with compassion for the person I used to be. Every experience of my past has made my life in recovery today possible.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It takes courage, intelligence, initiative and deep emotions to make a really successful fool. The timid, underimaginative, cowardly seldom do.

We as alcoholics made fools of ourselves, it is true, but, in so doing, we experienced more, we lived more, we suffered more. These are the ingredients of a liberal education.

If wisdom could be dissected, there would be a large portion of Folly, Defeat, Suffering and just plain Damned Foolishness in its make-up.

By the same token, our foolishness taught us valuable lessons that could not have been acquired anywhere else.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

DARKNESS TO LIGHT

Lord, I believe that You will reward each person according to his or her good works. Thank You for turning my darkness into light and for comforting me during my trials and low spots so that I may comfort and encourage others. Set Your word always before me so that I might remember Your great and awesome deeds. You are a faithful and just Teacher.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SELF-DESTRUCTION

Some thought should be given to the fate of those who commit suicide. The majority of those who take their own lives are so terrorized at the time that they are not entirely responsible for the act. Such people fare on the other side like anyone else. Conscious and intentional self-destruction is a refusal to meet the problems of life, and obviously it cannot be possible to do that successfully. These persons are apt to find themselves in a confused mental state. Of course, they can be greatly helped by prayer as can all others. Ultimately they have to face all over again precisely the kind of problem they have run away from.

Life as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him. For He knoweth our frame; he remebereth that we are dust (Psalm 103:13-14).

. . . the goodness of God endureth . . . (Psalm 51:1).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Original Innocence

Open your eyes! The world is still intact; it is as pristine as it was on the first day, as fresh as milk!

~ Paul Claudel ~

I saw a 20-year-old prostitute being interviewed on a talk show. When Candy was 14, her mother took her to a street corner in Los Angeles, gave her $20, and left her there. She hadn't had a home since that day. I was struck by the hardness of this young woman's face. Although tender in age, she seemed haggard, tired, heavily defended, and old beyond her years. The show's host announced that his staff had found Candy's father, whom she loved and had not seen for many years. Moments later, he walked onstage and embraced his little girl, whose makeup was now streaming down her cheeks with her tears. I wish I had a picture of Candy's face when she saw her dad. In an instant, those horribly painful years fell away, revealing the tender child who had been cast unprotected into a cold world. Candy's innocence was not lost; it was just hidden.

Like Candy, we have all covered our light with many layers of armoring in the wake of pain. But the pure child within us has not been destroyed by the challenges through which we have passed. We have gone through dark times, and we are still here. There is something inside us that is bigger than our circumstances. We must remember who we are in the midst of appearances that would tell us that we are something else. We can reclaim our innocence.

Today I return to You. Show me my original innocence.

I do not belong to the world. I belong to love.