Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - June

[bluidkiti]

June 24

Step by Step

"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." - Step 5

"This (Step) is perhaps difficult - especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. ...We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. ...Trying to avoid this humbling experience, (members) have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, Ch 6 ("Into Action"), pp 72-3.
Today, understanding that the purpose of Step Five is to unburden myself of the emotional baggage of guilt, fear, resentment and anger that will likely impair my recovery if I do not let go of that weight. I cannot expect to reap the program's full benefits if I cannot be unconditionally honest with myself and others by keeping bottled inside those events or feelings that might have contributed to my drinking - and hurt to others. Along with humility, Step Five requires courage. Failing to muster both honesty and courage to release what now hurts me will predictably impede my recovery. And, in letting go by confiding in another person, I may find fresh perspectives, useful direction and an unbiased opinion that what I think is so bad may not be as bad as I think. Today, I look for the honesty and courage to take Step Five and, hopefully, find reconciliation. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EFFORT

We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.

~ Anonymous ~

During our addictive years, it was a common practice to work things backward. We were known to eat our deserts before our main meal, to celebrate before we won, to assume the outcome before the event.

The problem with this behaviour is that it takes no account of reality, Things move from beginning to end. The alphabet reads from A to Z. This seems so simple, but it can be tricky for people who are used to taking shortcuts. Our program is best utilized by starting with Step One and moving through each Step in sequence. We often hear of people Two-Stepping the Program, moving from Step One immediately to Step Twelve. This practice often causes relapse.

It is essential that I put all my effort in to every Step. If I do, the outcome will take care of itself. All I effect is my effort, and that will always speak for itself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

It is well to remind ourselves that anxiety signifies a conflict, and so long as a conflict is going on, a constructive solution is possible.

~ Rollo May ~

Anxiety is a sign of life. All living things experience it; it is nothing to be feared. In fact, we double our anxiety if we are afraid of our feelings of fear. Anxious feelings may be a guide, an intuition pointing us in a direction we need to follow. They can direct us away from some situations and toward others. They may be a sign that we have neglected something or that an important matter remains unfinished

When we become familiar with our feelings, we also become more comfortable with them. We welcome them like friends who tell us what we need to pay attention to. One way to become more aware of our feelings is to just pause and quietly breathe with slow, deep breaths. In that simple physical act, our bodies quiet down and we can think more clearly.

Today I will give my anxiety its rightful place rather than fighting it, and I will pay attention to its message.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Doing nothing is sometimes the best thing we can do.

~ Connie Hilliard ~

Recovery inspires us to change, to move forward. We set goals and count on other people to support our efforts. Having a direction is significant to us because for years many of us floundered. Now we fear regressing, so when obstacles surface, we panic. We want to take immediate action, and we want others to bend to our will. On days like this, let’s remember that we still have much to learn.

It’s okay to sit out a problem occasionally. Not every conflict has to be resolved or even discussed. Many circumstances need no settling. Sometimes just quieting down releases us from a problem. And in its own way, that is a decision. We are doing something. When we understand that, we’ll feel better about “doing nothing.” It will no longer feel like passive acceptance of a bad situation.

Often the wisest thing we can do is nothing. We have heard this advice many times at meetings and from sponsors. Let’s follow it.

Before I take action on any matter today, I’ll ask myself if I really need to do so. Doing nothing may be just right.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can deal with my feelings of shame

I feel bad when I think about the slips I've had. I worry that no matter what I do, I won't be able to get abstinent. It feels like I can't get this simple program. And yet I know how much I want recovery I'm working my program as well as I can.

My sponsor reassures me that I am not a failure or a bad person-neither for having a dual disorder nor for having had slips. I feel relieved and happy that he still accepts me, still believes in me, and still wants to help me.

I will write out an affirmation that says, "l am a good person in recovery and doing the best I can." I could even say it out loud to myself in front of a mirror.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I am alone with the beating of my heart.

~ Li Chi ~

Chemical dependency and codependency rob us of our natural connection to others. Isolation is the consequence and symptom of these illnesses.

Recovery restores and continues to nurture the skills so critical to healthy relationships: honesty, openness, and detachment. It is essential to our recovery that we can be intimate with ourselves, and enjoy our own company. Solitude offers us the chance to relax, meditate, pray, dream, invest in hobbies, and be with our Higher Power. We are replenished from time shared in this way.

When we are good company alone, we will be good company with others. And, with a Power greater than ourselves active in our lives, we are never really alone. Just as our bodies need sleep, our minds and hearts need regular solitude to be fully expressive, attentive, and loving. We, and our friends, deserve nothing less than the richness life has to offer.

Today help me make room in my life to comfortably sit alone.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

While you have a thing it can be taken from you . . . but it is yours then forever when you have given it. It will be yours always. That is to give.

~ James Joyce ~

A new faculty member arrived at her office at a college and her assistant offered to give her a tour. As soon as they headed out the door, the assistant stooped to pick up some trash. Walking down a sidewalk, he removed a large branch. He picked up a pen on a stairway. “You must live in a very neat home,” the professor commented.

“Force of habit,” he replied. “You see, my sister lost her eyesight in an accident last year. Because both of our parents are gone, I dropped out of school and found this job so I could help take care of her. I’ve gotten so used to thinking ahead about what path she is going to take that I’m always on the lookout for things that might trip her up. I apologize for taking time from your tour, and promise I will stop doing that for you.”

The professor thought for a moment. “Please don’t,” she said. “In fact, let’s walk around the campus and do this together.”

Today I will give to another in ways that will help to make the journey through recovery easier.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Don't find fault. Find a remedy.

~ Henry Ford ~

A person in need and a listener were on the telephone. "The problem is,” began the one need, "I wouldn't be in this situation if those things hadn’t happened." The one in need talked on, listed all the people, places, and things that brought him to such a state.

The listener let him finish, and then replied, “I believe you’re blaming people, places, and things for your problems. You can only blame yourself because you're the one who can change things. As long as you hide behind ‘causes’ you won’t take action. It’s up to you to act, so do it!"

It may be easier to blame, because finding remedies means we'll have to work. Looking for scapegoats for our current situation won’t get us out of our ruts, it will only mire us deeper. To get free, we need to use our talents and wisdom to good benefit. As the listener said, it's up to us to take action, so let’s do it!

Tonight I can stop finding scapegoats. It’s up to me to find remedies for my current position and to help pull me out of a rut. Let me do it!

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Getting honest

There is an intuitive understanding between recovering addicts and newcomers. Old- timers know well the games that newcomers play at first. Newcomers are not asked what they’re thinking, they’re told what they’re thinking! They don’t need to be trapped into lies; old-timers tell them the lies they were about to tell.

Thus, in the beginning, we start to get honest because we hardly have a choice. We give up on playing games because there are no tricks left in the bag. Being confronted by others, we have to get honest—honest enough to save our lives.

Have I stopped playing games? Am I getting more honest?

Higher Power, let me be grateful for the intuition and quick tongue of my fellow members: They can help me get honest.

I will practice honesty today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Loneliness is a terrible blindness.

~ CHRISTINA STEAD ~

Newcomer

I’m not fighting the addiction itself any more. In a strange way, where I am right now feels more painful. The drama and some of the magic of early recovery are over. When I’m not actually at a meeting, I feel as if I’m sitting in a bare room, alone with my feelings and terribly lonely.

Sponsor

I remember the time you’re talking about. We’re no longer brand-new in the program; we’re not shaking from withdrawal; we’re not rebelling against suggestions. We’re not sure what’s left of our old self, and we don’t know who our new self will turn out to be, or even if we can count on one to emerge. We feel as if we’re alone and facing a void. It may be reassuring to know that most of us have gone through this feeling of immense loneliness, and that it has left us. In time, our perception shifted. Our lives were filled with more abundance than we ever imagined.

For today, there are things we can do to alleviate loneliness. We can begin to nurture a relationship with our Higher Power through prayer and meditation. We can make a gratitude list to lift ourselves out of self-pity. We can reach out and begin the gradual process of getting to know people in recovery better: thanking the speaker, putting our hands up, taking phone numbers and using them, volunteering to speak to a group. We can stop believing that our happiness is entirely up to circumstance. We, too, are worth getting to know.

Today, I let go of my fantasy of instant relationship and take a step in the long process of getting to know another person.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The poor old drunk has ever had to face the wrath of the law and an indignant world. Lectures, threats, jail sentences, booby hatches and asylums have proven to be but waste of words, efforts and public funds. Nothing−absolutely nothing worked.

AA tried a revolutionary ministration of sympathy and understanding. It recognized his condition as an illness, threefold in its nature, and the only medication that would prove effective must treat his physical, mental and spiritual disorder at one and the same time.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

CONSCIOUSNESS OF GOD

I came, at my first surrender, not only into consciousness of God but into usefulness for God and others. I was able to do, through God's help, what no one has ever been able or ever will be able to do alone, which is to supplement the all-important "why" of life with the still more important "how" of living. I was able to begin solving my own problems and, for the first time in my experience, was given the power to begin helping others. I no longer wished well to "myself alone." Dear God, I pray to surrender again today.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

COMMUNICATION WITH THE "DEAD"

Is it possible to communicate with those who have passed on into the next world? Extremists on one side say dogmatically that it is absolutely impossible to do so. Enthusiasts on the other side claim that their deceased friends direct their actions. The truth is that communication does take place, but that the wise dead understand the necessity of our exercising our own power of choice and do not intrude. But they do often come to our aid.

If you wish to investigate psychic things, do so thoroughly and scientifically. The chief objection to the running after mediums is that it may become a running away from the responsibilities of this life. Thus seeking mediums becomes what is called in psychology an escape mechanism. Your business is to face up to your problems and to try to solve them.

There is a truly spiritual mode of communication from which nothing but good can come. It is this: Sit down quietly and remind yourself that the one God really is Omnipresent. Then reflect that your real self is in the Presence of God now, and that the real self of your loved one is also in the Presence of God. Do this for a few minutes every day, and sooner or later you will get a sense of communication.

For to this end Christ both died, and, rose . . . that he might be Lord both of the dead and living (Romans 14:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

It’s Not About You

What you think of me is none of my business.

~ Terry Cole-Whittaker ~

A black man tried unsuccessfully to gain admission to a white church. Year after year, the church gave the man and his family a different excuse for rejection. Finally, the man got down on his knees and prayed, "Dear Jesus, every year I try to become a member of this church, and every time they deny me. Can you help me?"

Suddenly a deep voice boomed, "Don't feel bad, George—I've been trying to get into that church for a lot longer than you, and they won't let me in either!"

Other people see us through their own eyes, perceptual screens, and belief systems. Anger, prejudice, and rejection are statements—not about the recipient, but the giver. If you're treated unfairly, your most powerful response is not attack, but truth and prayer. Be honest about your experience, and pray that fear is lifted from the other person's heart and that forgiveness flows into your own. While we're not asked to put up with abuse, we must maintain the knowledge that we are whole and lovable no matter what anyone else says or does.

Let me remember that love is the only reality.

I align myself with love, and I am invulnerable in forgiveness.