More Recovery Readings - June

[bluidkiti]

June 22

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade. --Dale Carnegie
Good fortune is built on misfortune. By losing a race we learn what mistakes to avoid next time we run. A burglar may make us install the lock that will keep out a murderer. Each time a toddler falls is a lesson in how to walk.
We can never assume that, because things are not going the way we want, they are not following a better plan. God is a better manager than we can hope to be. If things aren't shaping up the way we like, let's wait with curiosity to see that better things are in store for us. Let's look for lights in the darkness and follow them to the bright day that always will follow. We will remember our lessons of misfortune with gratitude.
What can I learn from delay today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. --Clarence Budinton Kelland
We learn much of what we need to know about being men from models we have in other men. Some of us have fond memories of being next to our fathers and imitating their ways. Many of us also have the feeling of a gap in our models. Perhaps our fathers weren't around enough, or we may have rejected some of their habits and values, creating an uncertainty about masculine roles. We may feel unsure of ourselves, or we may berate ourselves for what we don't know.
It is well to remember how much we have already learned in our adult years. It is never too late. No man ever reaches adulthood having learned everything from his father that he will need to know about masculinity. We can look around us for more models in the men we know. For a man to be our model, we first choose someone we admire and then get to know him well. In this way, we carry on the human tradition of one man learning from another.
I am continuing to grow, and I can learn from the men I know now.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others. --Amelia Earhart
Fear of failure plagues many women, not just those who get into trouble with drugs, alcohol, food. Those of us in this recovery program may still fear failure. Halting our addiction doesn't solve all our problems, but it does allow us to realistically take stock of our assets. Knowing our assets and accepting them provides the confidence we need to attempt a project, to strive for a goal.
Another plus of this recovery program is the help available from our groups and our higher power. All things become possible when we understand we are not alone. Seeing other women strive and succeed or strive, fail, and strive again, undefeated, creates an energy flow that can spur us on, if we choose. Feeling good about others' accomplishments can motivate each of us.
Today, I will pay particular attention to the accomplishments of other women, those close to me and those I read or hear about. I will believe their example and feel the forward push.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Work Histories
Just as we have relationship histories, most of us have work histories.
Just as we have a present circumstance to accept and deal with in our relationship life, we have a present circumstance to accept and deal with in our work life.
Just as we develop a healthy attitude toward our relationship history - one that will help us learn and move forward - we can develop a healthy attitude toward our work history.
I have worked many jobs in my life, since I was eleven years old. Just as I have learned many things about myself through my relationships, I have learned many lessons through my work. Often, these lessons run parallel to the lessons I'm learning in other areas of my life.
I have worked at jobs I hated but was temporarily dependent on. I have gotten stuck in jobs because I was afraid to strike out on my own and find my next set of circumstances.
I have been in some jobs to develop skills. Sometimes, I didn't realize I was developing those skills until later on when they become an important part of the career of my choice.
I have worked at jobs where I felt victimized, where I gave and gave and received nothing in return. I have been in relationships where I manufactured similar feelings.
I have worked at some jobs that have taught me what I absolutely didn't want; others sparked in me an idea of what I really did want and deserve in my career.
Some of my jobs have helped me develop character; others have helped me fine tune skills. They have all been a place to practice recovery behaviors.
Just as I have had to deal with my feelings and messages about myself in relationships, I have had to deal with my feelings and messages about myself, and what I believed I deserved at work.
I have been through two major career changes in my life. I learned that neither career was a mistake and no job was wasted time. I have learned something from each job, and my work history has helped create who I am.
I learned something else: there was a Plan, and I was being led. The more I trusted my instincts, what I wanted, and what felt right, the more I felt that I was being led.
The more I refused to lose my soul to a job and worked at it because I wanted to and not for the paycheck, the less victimized I felt by any career, even those jobs that paid a meager salary. The more I set goals and took responsibility for achieving the career I wanted, the more I could decide whether a particular job fit into that scheme of things. I could understand why I was working at a particular job and how that was going to benefit me.
There are times I have even panicked at work and about where I was in my employment history. Panic never helped. Trust and working my program did.
There were times I looked around and wondered why I was where I was. There were times people thought I should be someplace different. But when I looked into myself and at God, I knew I was in the right place, for the moment.
There were times I have had to quit a job and walk away in order to be true to myself. Sometimes, that was frightening. Sometimes, I felt like a failure. But I learned this: If I was working my program and true to myself, I never had to fear where I was being led.
There have been times I couldn't survive on the small amount of money I was receiving. Instead of bringing that issue to a particular employer and making it his or her fault, I have had to learn to bring the issue to my Higher Power and myself. I've learned I'm responsible for setting my boundaries and establishing what I believe I deserve. I've also learned God, not a particular employer, is my source of guidance.
I've learned that I'm not stuck or trapped in a job no more than I am in a relationship. I have choices. I may not be able to see them clearly right now, but I do have choices. I've learned that if I really want to take care of myself in a particular way on a job, I will do that. And if I really want to be victimized by a job, I will allow that to happen too.
I am responsible for my choices, and I have choices.
Above all else, I've learned to accept and trust my present circumstances at work. That does not mean to submit; it does not mean to forego boundaries. It means to trust, accept, then take care of myself the best I'm able to on any given day.
God, help me bring my recovery behaviors to my career affairs.


Today I know I am not the best or the worst. I am just me. God is guiding me to become the best me I can be and that is very exciting. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Forgive Your Inner Child for Being So Afraid

No matter how much work we’ve done on ourselves, no matter how committed we are to healing, there may be part of us that’s four years old when we deal with certain people. There may be a part of us that feels frozen, frightened, powerless, and abandoned when we face certain situations.

We may be all dressed up, look grown up, have our professional hat on. But the person wearing it is four. And scared. Afraid to speak up, relax, be who we are– a powerful, sensitive, creative, competent, intelligent, wise adult.

Watch for these four-year-olds. Be gentle, kind, compassionate. Forgive them for being so frightened. They have reasons that are valid, understandable, and sometimes noble. But their reasons come from a long time ago. This is now.

We’ve grown now. We’re strong. We’re free. We can walk away, speak up, laugh, say how we feel. And we can’t be abandoned anymore, because we know how to live on our own.

Watch for your four-year-old. This child may never completely leave you, but you don’t have to let him or her run the show.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Relaxing is how we heal

Stopping, calming, and resting are preconditions for healing. When animals in the forest are wounded they find a place to lie down and rest completely for many days… They just rest, and get the healing they need.
–Thich Nhat Hanh

We hurt. We suffer. We wrong our loved ones and they do wrong by us. Reaching desperately for an answer will not help us. Pretending we’re not hurt doesn’t help, either. When we are wounded, the wound needs rest in order to heal. So it is with our souls. If we poke at our hurt, pick at the sore, rub it in the dirt of others’ opinions, we do not allow it time to heal.

If you’ve been hurt, accept that. Feel the hurt. Be aware of it. Let it heal. Maybe it would be better if you didn’t talk to that person for a while. Maybe you need to let go of the relationship. Maybe you just need some quiet time. Whatever the answer is, find a safe place and allow yourself to heal.

If you’re feeling pain, be aware of it. Feel the pain, and then quit picking at the wound. Lie low. Quit fighting. Relax. Give your wounds time and enough rest to heal.

God, help me relax enough to stop, calm down, and heal.

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In God’s Care

There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse.
~~Washington Irving

It’s important to trust that change can be positive even when it looks otherwise. Change is part of God’s plan for our life. Change holds unexpected opportunities and spiritual lessons even though it may cause fear in us now.

We can look back to our using days for evidence of changes that we may have feared. For example, we may have lost jobs, or relationships may have ended and we struggled with being alone. But with time we’ve come to realize that nurturing relationships don’t end; new people come into our life, and we help each other grow. We can trust that God will provide opportunities in our life that enhance our growth, our recovery, and in particular, our spiritual development.

Change will occur and it is seldom easy. But we can be certain that all change will be beneficial to us in the future.

I’ll rely on the Third Step if I fear change today. God is in charge and all is well.

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Day By Day

Overcoming loneliness

Chances are, we considered ourselves loners when we came into the program. Some of us had divided the world into the people who hated us and the people who didn’t like us very much. Some of us felt very alone even though we knew people liked us.

We never have to be alone again, however. By staying sober and clean, the walls we built around ourselves gradually come down.

Have I stopped being a loner?

Lord, help me to do what I need to do to never be alone again.

I will avoid loneliness today by…

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Food for Thought

God Is a Verb

We cannot contain our Higher Power at a fixed point or in a closed system. However we may understand God, our understanding is always limited. The Power that rescues us from compulsive overeating is an active force, which constantly beckons us to move on. What we were to do yesterday is past; a new day brings new challenges and opportunities.

Our compulsion had us trapped in a pattern of self-destructive repetition. We did the same dumb thing over and over again. When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand Him, we are linking up with the source of newness and creativity. God moves, and if we are linked with Him, we also move. His spirit changes us, and what we thought and did yesterday is not adequate to the demands of today.

Trusting our Higher Power means acting according to His promptings. We follow Him as He leads us into new tasks and activities and ideas. We learn from experience that He is always more than adequate for our needs.

May I follow where You lead.

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Saying Yes to the Universe
Making the Decision

by Madisyn Taylor

Saying Yes to the universe opens the gate to receiving what your soul really wants.


The hardest thing about saying yes to the universe is that it means accepting everything life puts in front of us. Most of us have a habit of going through our days saying no to the things we don’t like and yes to the things we do, and yet, everything we encounter is our life. We may be afraid that if we say yes to the things we don’t like, we will be stuck with them forever, but really, it is only through acknowledging the existence of what’s not working for us that we can begin the process of change. So saying yes doesn’t mean indiscriminately accepting things that don’t work for us. It means conversing with the universe, and starting the conversation with a very powerful word—yes.

When we say yes to the universe, we enter into a state of trust that whatever our situation is, we can work with it. We express confidence in ourselves, and the universe, and we also express a willingness to learn from whatever comes our way, rather than running and hiding when we don’t like what we see. The question we might ask ourselves is what it will take for us to get to the point of saying yes. For some of us, it takes coming up against something we can’t ignore, escape, or deny, and so we are left no choice but to say yes. For others, it just seems a natural progression of events that leads us to making the decision to say yes to life.

The first step to saying yes is realizing that in the end it is so much easier than the alternative. Once we understand this, we can begin examining the moments when we resist what is happening, and experiment with occasionally saying yes instead. It might be scary at first, and even painful at times, but if we continue to say yes to every moment through the process, we will discover the joy of being in a positive conversation with a force much bigger than ourselves. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The minute we think about a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To avoid looking at the wrongs we’ve done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he or she has done us. With a sense of triumph, we seize upon his or her slightest misbehavior as perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own. We have to remember that we’re not the only ones plagued by sick emotions. Often, we’re really dealing with fellow sufferers, including those whose woes we’re increased. If I’m about to ask forgiveness for myself, why shouldn’t I start out by forgiving them?

Today I Pray

When I blame or fault-find, may my Higher Power tell me to look under the rug for my own feeling of guilt, which I have neatly swept under it. May I recognize these behavior clues for what they really are.

Today I Will Remember

Resentment, inside-out, is guilt.

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One More Day

Disability usually puts a strain on a good marriage and exposes a bad one.
– Robert Lovering

The strain on relationships of chronically ill people is clearly shown in the fact that their divorce rate is higher than the national average. Perhaps this is not so strange, since any stressful situation only serves to point out any preexisting deficits.

Suffering is a personal and lonely state even though others have been where we are now. We can share some of our pain with others. We can perhaps be an inspiration to them because of how well we handle our suffering. We still can choose our attitudes and our responses. Even though there are some situations we can not control, there is always hope and help. We can receive relief and understanding.

I will try to stay aware, in all my relationships, of the added stresses caused by illness.