More Recovery Readings - June

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June 24

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment. --Maxwell Maltz
The way we think about ourselves determines how we behave and who we become. If Eileen believes she is good at baseball, she will swing the bat more confidently and catch fly balls more easily. And her extra effort will generally pay off. At math, Steve thinks he's a whiz and it makes him proud. He studies so he'll continue to be a whiz.
The image we have of ourselves is like the blueprint the contractor follows when building a house. When we see ourselves sad or angry, our behavior and personality will match it. When we see ourselves withdrawn and afraid, we seem to avoid activities that involve others. How wonderful that we can change our behavior and thus ourselves by changing the picture we carry in our minds.
Do I have a good picture of myself today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The only intrinsic evil is lack of love. --John Robinson
When we have feelings of guilt or self-hate, we have spiritual problems. It is a time to turn to our program for help. In the early stages of recovery we may, at times, feel more shameful than we ever did before, simply because we are becoming honest about how we feel. We may even become ashamed of our guilty feelings, and then the problem escalates.
Lack of love for ourselves is at the heart of our problem. We cannot become self-loving by force of will, but we can stop being so willful by simply yielding to the care of a loving God. At those moments we do not feel deserving of love, but we can stop fending it off. Perhaps God's love is coming to us in the concern of a friend or partner. Maybe it comes in the warm sunshine or in the smile of a child. As we yield to it, we take a spiritual leap into a world we don't control and we didn't create, but we can be healed by it.
Today, I will surrender to the love which comes from the world around me and let it teach me how to love myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
If you attach yourself to one person, you ultimately end up having an unhealthy relationship. --Shirley MacLaine
Needing people in our lives is healthy, human and natural. Needing a single person to love at a very deep level, is also soothing to the soul's well-being. Love and attachment are not synonymous, however. They are close to being opposites. If we "attach" ourselves to others, our movements as separate individuals are hampered. Attachment means dependency; it means letting our movements be controlled by the one we are "hooked" to.
Dependency on mood-altering chemicals, on food, on people, means unmanageability in our individual lives. Many of us in this recovery program, though abstinent, still struggle with our dependency on a certain person or a certain friend.
The tools we are learning apply in all cases of dependency. It is healthy independence we are striving for--taking responsibility for our own lives--making choices appropriate for our personal selves. Loving others means letting them make their own choices unhampered by our "attachment."
Are my relationships attachments or are they based on love? I will take an inventory of them today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Detachment
Detachment doesn't come naturally for many of us. But once we realize the value of this recovery principle, we understand how vital detachment is. The following story illustrates how a woman came to understand detachment.
"The first time I practiced detachment was when I let go of my alcoholic husband. He had been drinking for seven years --since I had married him. For that long, I had been denying his alcoholism and trying to make him stop drinking.
"I did outrageous things to make him stop drinking, to make him see the light, to make him realize how much he was hurting me. I really thought I was doing things right by trying to control him.
"One night, I saw things clearly. I realized that my attempts to control him would never solve the problem. I also saw that my life was unmanageable. I couldn't make him do anything he didn't want to do. His alcoholism was controlling me, even though I wasn't drinking.
"I set him free, to do as he chose. The truth is, he did as he pleased anyway. Things changed the night I detached. He could feel it, and so could I. When I set him free, I set myself free to live my own life.
"I've had to practice the principle of detachment many times since then. I've had to detach from unhealthy people and healthy people. It's never failed. Detachment works."
Detachment is a gift. It will be given to us when we're ready for it. When we set the other person free, we are set free.
Today, wherever possible, I will detach in love.


I love me because of all that I am, not just a part of me. I fully accept myself just as I am today and that feels so good. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Restore Your Natural Balance

Seek healing, a refilling of energy and spirit, as soon as you see that you need it. You don’t have to push yourself to give, do, or perform when what your body, mind, soul, and emotions need is to heal.

Seek and support your natural balance. Listen to your body, listen to your soul, and both will tell you what they need and when. If you aren’t certain what you need,ask. Ask your body what you need. Ask your heart what to do next. Ask God and the universe to help.

Find the balance that’s right for you. Become sensitive to your needs. When you become stressed, depleted, out of sync, in need of healing, seek help immediately. Nurture and care for yourself until you’re in balance again.

Inhale, receive. Exhale, give back. Your natural balance is as necessary as breathing. The inhaling is the breathing in of life’s energy. The exhaling is the sharing of your resources. You wouldn’t expect to exhale if you hadn’t inhaled. So it goes with healing, with our life force, with our energy. You cannot give it out if you don’t take it in.

Find the balance of receiving and giving, of the taking in of energy and the giving out of energy, that works for you.

Let the balance become natural. See how much more you do and are. See how much better you feel when you keep your life force vital.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Find ways to relax

Recovering alcoholics– and many people who choose not to drink or use drugs– need to find ways to relax that don’t involve alcohol, drugs, or medications.

Many of us remember daily that we are choosing not to drink or use drugs. But we may forget that it’s important to learn ways to relax our bodies and our minds. Maybe it’s time to assertively pursue options for helping us to unwind.

I can tell you things that help me: Hot water– whether it’s taking a long shower, sitting in a hot tub, or resting in a bathtub, meditation and visualization being near a large body of water and if that’s not possible, looking at a good picture of the ocean or a beautiful sea; drinking hot herbal tea; massage; music; meditation tapes; a good movie; laughter, deep, conscious breathing; playing the piano; and being outside in the sun.

We each have our own needs, our own methods of calming ourselves down. Do you have a list of what works for you? If you don’t, today is a good day to make one.

Today and each day do at least one thing deliberately that relaxes you. Begin allowing your body to memorize how it feels when it’s relaxed; then consciously duplicate that feeling throughout the day whenever you feel yourself become tense.

God, show me ways to relax.

Activity: Begin making a list of the things that help you relax. This is an important part of your self-care. If it’s a long one, great. If it’s a short one, pursue other methods of relaxing that are available to you, and add them to this list. Whenever you feel yourself becoming tense, take out your list and actually do one of the things on it– the one that most appeals to you at that moment. Part of getting to know yourself better means becoming acquainted with things that help your body relax.

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In God’s Care

Discipline is the basis of a satisfying life.
~~Katharine Hepburn

When trying to reach a goal, we may tire of the constant effort that is required of us, or we may rebel against the structure that’s necessary to keep us focused. We often long for what we remember as a freer, more spontaneous time in the past.

It’s helpful to remember that our goals come from our desire for change. We can see each yearning as God’s invitation for us to move in a new direction. And we can be sure that we have God as our helpmate throughout the journey wherever our destination may be.

Goals that inspire us to act bring meaning to our life. We make progress in moving toward them, and our feeling of satisfaction and renewed sense of purpose will motivate us to persevere to their completion.

The comfort of regular conscious contact with our Higher Power, as we seek always to align our goals with God’s will for us, will carry us to the fulfillment of our goals.

I will seek direction and strength from God while moving toward my goals today.

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Day By Day

Getting honest

There is an intuitive understanding between recovering addicts and newcomers. Old-timers know well the games that newcomers play at first. Newcomers are not asked what they’re thinking, they’re told what they’re thinking! They don’t need to be trapped into lies; old-timers tell them the lies they were about to tell.

Thus, in the beginning, we start to get honest because we hardly have a choice. We give up on playing games because there are no tricks left in the bag. Being confronted by others, we have to get honest – honest enough to save our lives.

Have I stopped playing games? Am I getting more honest?

Higher Power, let me be grateful for the intuition and quick tongue of my fellow members:
They can help me get honest.

I will practice honesty today by…

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Food for Thought

A Program for Living

The OA program does much more than promote our recovery from compulsive overeating, essential as that is. It gives us a structure for our daily lives. Before OA, we chased illusions and despaired when they let us down. Now we have a concrete plan of action for living richer, fuller lives.

We have found like-minded friends who help and encourage us. Instead of isolating ourselves and consuming, we are experiencing the fellowship of sharing. We find that the more we contribute to OA, the more we get out of it.

Practicing the Twelve Steps involves every aspect of our lives. We cannot be honest in our efforts to work this program without being honest in all our affairs. What we learn about ourselves through OA can be applied to our other activities as well. We were eating compulsively because we did not know how to cope with the rest of life. As we become better equipped for living through the guidance of our Higher Power, we recover from our disease.

Bless our program, we pray.

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Foundations of Evolution
Acknowledging Your Growth

by Madisyn Taylor

Evolution of your soul is a natural fact of life and becomes a potent motivational force when celebrated.


Since personal evolution is most often a slow and gradual process, it can be difficult to recognize the scope of the changes taking place in our lives. Yet it is important that we regularly acknowledge our ongoing growth and reward ourselves for the many wonderful feats of self-improvement we have accomplished. When we intentionally contemplate our progress, we need never feel that we are languishing between past achievements and the realization of future goals. If we look closely at our lives, we may see that much of what brings us pleasure in the present is representative of the ambitions of our past that we worked so hard to attain. At one time, the abundance we enjoy currently likely seemed like a far-off dream. Now it is simply reality—a reality we created through our diligence, passion, and unflagging determination. Whether our progress is fast or slow, we deserve to congratulate ourselves for our successes.

To remind yourself of the insights you have gained with time, temporarily adopt an outsider’s perspective and carefully consider how your life in the present differs from the range of experiences you lived through in the past. Creating a written list, in a journal or otherwise, of those strengths, aptitudes, and inner qualities you now attribute to yourself can help you accept that you are not the same person you were one year ago, five years ago, or 10 years ago. Your attitudes, opinions, and values were likely markedly different, and these differences can be ascribed to your willingness to accept that you still have much to learn. If you have difficulty giving yourself credit for these changes, think about the goals you realized, the lives you touched, the wisdom you acquired, and the level of enlightenment you attained over the past years.

Recognizing growth is neither boastful nor immodest. Evolution is a natural fact of life and becomes a potent motivational force when celebrated. Knowing that you are brighter, stronger, and more grounded than you once were, you can look forward to the changes to come. In acknowledging your growth, you build a sturdy foundation upon which you can continue to blossom well into the future. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The primary purpose of The Program is freedom from addiction; without that freedom we have nothing. But that doesn’t mean I can say, for example, “Sobriety is my only concern. Except for my drinking, I’m really a sure person, so give me sobriety, and I’ve got it made.” If I delude myself with such specious nonsense, I’ll make so little progress with my real life problems and responsibilities that I’ll likely return to my addiction. That’s why The Program’s Twelve Step urges us to “practice these principles in all our affairs.” Am I living just to be free of chemical dependence, or also to learn to serve, and to love?

Today I Pray

May I relish and be grateful for my sobriety, which is where all good things begin. But let me not stop at that and give up trying to understand myself, the nature of God and of humanity. Freedom from dependency is the first freedom. May I be certain that there are more to come — freedom from tight-mindedness, from the unrest of bottled-up feelings, from over-dependence on others, from a Godless existence. May The Program which answered my acute needs also answer my chronic ones.

Today I Will Remember

Sobriety is just a beginning.

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One More Day

Quote: There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first.
– Paramahansa Yogananda

Friendships develop slowly and are based on mutual interests and understanding. They are tested by time, by changes in life circumstances, and even by health. To be a real friend means being there when the chips are down, even when no one else is. It means giving and not receiving, but trusting that our friends are prepared to do the same.

Real friends take risks for one another — especially emotional risks — and still don’t leave. A cherished friendship is not questioned, for we know, deep in our hearts, that we will always be there to help our close friends. We know they will always be there to help us.

I have strong and rewarding relationships. I cherish my friendships.