Drinking and Thinking

[MajestyJo]

From "A Small White Card":

"Yet I had a spiritual experience the night I called A.A.,
though I didn’t realize it until later. Two angels came,
carrying a real message of hope, and told me about A.A.
My sponsor laughed when I denied that I had prayed for
help. I told him that the only time I had mentioned God was
when, in my despair at being unable to get either drunk or
sober, I had cried out, 'God! What am I going to do?'

"He replied, 'I believe that prayer was a pretty good one for a
first one from an atheist. It got an answer, too.'
– Brighton, Colorado, USA"

Came to Believe, 30th printing 2004, pg. 25

I really like this. How many times I took or spoke God's name in vane. How many times, I ignored His presence and chose to do things my way.

Looking back over the years, He was there. There were many times, that I should have been dead or hurt much more than I was. i.e. I was raped by one guy, there were three in the room.

I was in that situation because I listened to a person I thought was my friend instead of listening to myself.

I could really identify. I just took more and more, and it wasn't enough. It wasn't until I stopped to think about where I was at and reached out for help, that my life changed.

I had faith and lost it. I had to regain in. I had to find out who God was to me. I had to make God personal. I found God to be an old tape. The difference was not the God people told me He was, but God as He revealed Himself to me.