Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - October

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October 16

Step by Step

“The less people tolerated (alcoholics), the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did – then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen – Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 (“A Vision for You”), p 151.

Today, the “hideous Four Horsemen,” remembering that they once again will overwhelm me – if I allow them. I must not let either time or the distance from my last drink dim the desperation of the “chilling vapor that is loneliness” and the “sordid places” I sought for approval, acceptance or simple companionship. Nor must I forget the shattered quiet morning after when self-loathing, desperation and physical and emotional emptiness fueled the cycle to do it all over again and face another night of that “chilling vapor” of loneliness and another shattered quiet morning after. My life in sobriety is a day-by-day reprieve from that desperate drinking, and I must not take for granted today that sobriety is guaranteed to me tomorrow. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ADMITTING WRONGS

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

~ Alexander Pope ~

No one can grow spiritually until they have cleared their conscience and gained the respect and forgiveness of others by admitting their wrongs. Only by wiping the slate clean can we free ourselves of the constant painful reminders of acts and words which have left us with regrets, guilt, and shame. Of course, we can’t be free of thoughts about the past until we have learned, through thorough inventories, the nature of our mistakes.

Our admission of wrongdoing may help others understand us better, but the person most benefited from the admission is us. The process of admitting wrongs assures us that we have accepted honesty as an asset we need in our new way of life.

The sooner I admit my mistakes, the easier they are to correct. Let me promptly admit it when I am wrong.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The whole life of the individual is nothing but the process of giving birth to himself indeed, we should be fully born when we die.

~ Erich Fromm ~

We think of childhood as the period of development and growth. For some reason we regard adulthood as the time when we should settle down and live as fully formed individuals. This is not true. Psychologists now know that in a healthy person, adult development continues throughout life. When we look back five years, we can see ways that we have changed. Life continues to present us with new puzzles and new opportunities to become better men.

We can also be stopped in our development if we refuse to open up to new growth. An addiction or a codependent way of relating to others can freeze our growth. When we open ourselves to the truth, we can resolve our puzzles and seize the opportunities to grow into wiser, stronger, more generous, honest, and open- hearted men.

I will engage with the reality that today brings, and I will continue to grow.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I always have a choice: to learn from the lessons life offers me or to retreat into my lonely victim role.

~ Charlotte Kasl ~

What a difference it makes in our journey to believe that every experience is an opportunity to grow and to heal the pain of being human. None of us travel this road unscathed. Our interactions are devastating on occasion, but we can survive them. And sharing how we did so can give other women hope and strength and healing when they most need it.

Luckily not every experience is hard or painful. Many moments every day are delightful. Sometimes the joy we feel and the laughter we share are simply the result of being grateful for our daily blessings. Our attitudes have far-reaching consequences in our lives. How we choose to interpret the actions of others determines how we feel. Our serenity doesn’t have to be dependent on others’ actions.

I will be as joyful as I choose today. If I’m willing to accept assistance, my Higher Power will help me make the choice.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I get help from many helpers

I used to be afraid of asking for help. Accepting it was almost harder. But slips and relapses, set-backs and breakthroughs have taught me that I have needed (and still need) help. And slowly I've become more willing to ask for it and to accept it.

I feel stronger when I glance back and see that over time, help for my dual disorder has come from many different people: men and women; young and old; recovering people (a sponsor, a support person, a host of friends); and professionals (a psychiatrist, a therapist, a counselor, a social worker, a caseworker, a clergywoman). I am grateful to them all.

I will do the best I can on my own and then respectfully call on my helpers as needed.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

History books begin and end, but the events they describe do not.

~ R.G. Collingwood ~

Each day we turn a new page in our recovery, and we grow more settled in our new life. As we learn to live in the present, neither fearing the future nor feeling shame about the past, we discover new pleasures in simply living. We don’t have to hide our fear any more, we don’t have to suppress grief or shame or anger. We don’t have to keep our real selves secret behind a veil of chemicals.

But we do need to remember. Our old behavior is still a part of us. We may still be paying the consequences for it, with legal or health problems. We may still feel remorse over our actions. And we need to remember that our addiction did not end simply because we stopped using our drug of choice. We could relapse at any time if we aren’t careful and don’t work our program. We could replace our old addictive behaviors at any time with equally unhealthy new ones that may be harder for us to see. This is why we keep going to meetings. This is why we need our sponsor, our other program friends, and our Higher Power. Recovery is active. When we are working at it, we are recovering.

Today help me see what work I need to do for my recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We are made, kind by being kind.

~ Eric Hoffer ~

There are two components of kindness: being kind to yourself and being kind to others. If you find it difficult to care for yourself, forgive yourself, or consider yourself worthy of love and understanding, then you may find it difficult to be kind to yourself. Most people in recovery are their own worst enemies. They may treat others well, but hold themselves up to intense criticism and scrutiny. By the same token, you may consider it far easier to be kind to others.

One way to develop self-kindness is to think of your self as a child. How would you treat this child? What les-sons would you teach? How long would you hold your child hostage to a misbehavior or mistake? Would you use mistakes as opportunities for developing greater understanding, or inflict punishment?

Another way to develop self-kindness is to think of someone you treat well. What are the types of things you do for this person? How do you treat this person when a mistake is made? Are you able to forgive transgressions because the good qualities are much more important to you? Being able to extend kindness to others is wonderful. But so too is being able to show kindness to the per-son you are.

Today I will treat myself with kindness.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

To make one pound of honey one bee would need to travel 50,000 miles, more than twice the distance around the globe. . . . A single teaspoon of honey in six weeks is a bee's entire life quota.

~ Margaret T. Applegarth ~

A grandmother watched her grandchild open birthday presents. All around the child were toys and records and books that had brought smiles to the child's eyes. But after the child opened the large box and saw what was in it, the smile faded.

“What is it?" the child asked. "It’s a quilt made to show the story of your eleven years," the grandmother said. "Here's your very first step and here's the first time you lost a tooth. Here's your first time swimming and here's the birth of your baby brother. Each picture shows you growing and maturing. It has taken me eleven years to make this quilt for you, but you will have that quilt for the rest of your life."

The child is now an adult, but goes to sleep every night under a quilt filled with memories of her early life and the loving patience of her grandmother.

Tonight I need to remember the time to become special.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Releasing our selves

A concept of right and wrong, good and evil, is reintroduced into our lives by the program. Some people ask in panic, “Do you really mean at this time in history, to reintroduce the devil—hooves, horns, and all?” Well, we really don’t know what this time in history has to do with it. The hooves and horns are important only because we wear them ourselves.

So our answer is yes, the devil in us, the cause of our troubles, must be reintroduced and understood to be conquered. We are at the root of our own troubles; we are our own devils. And until we act to release ourselves of our selves, we will continue to slip and suffer.

Have I conquered myself?

Higher Power, with your grace may I recognize my own devil and turn it over to you so that with your help it may be conquered.

Today I will restrain myself by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Trust in God: She will provide.

~ EMMELINE PANKHURST ~

Newcomer

I brought a friend to a meeting recently. I was nervous all through it, wondering if the speaker was saying things in a way that made sense to her; judging what other people shared, and wanting them to like my friend and reach out to her. I felt as if I were the host at a big party, worrying about whether everyone was having a good time or not.

Sponsor

The experience you've described has valuable information to offer. It says, among other things, how much you appreciate recovery and want to share your experience of it. It says, tog that you care about your friends.

Most of us have been through similar experiences in recovery and can identify with your discomfort. It's hard to relax if we think we're running the show. We're not really hosts at a party, though, and we're not responsible for how it goes. We have to trust that people we bring to a meeting will hear and respond to whatever they're ready to take in, no more and no less. We can neither predict nor control what that will be, any more than we can predict or control what others at the meeting will share or hear. Other people's experience of recovery is not our responsibility; in fact, it's none of our business. When we surrender the outcome to a Higher Power, each meeting is exactly what it's supposed to be.

Today, I let go of my worries about how a meeting is proceeding; I allow myself to focus on my own recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

By the very nature of our AA work, we often are exposed to the worst in the new man on our first contact with him. Too frequently, we pronounce judgement at once, and all our future work is prejudiced by that first impression.

Think back a little—you weren't a lily yourself when you sought AA.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Weight of the World

O God of many names, bless You for lifting the weight of the world off my shoulders. It was never mine to carry in the first place. Surrendering my will to You has removed the loneliness and isolation that addiction placed within me. I need other people. I need their help. The key to unlocking the many gifts of recovery is asking for help. Your direction and love has taught me to ask for help and to help when I am asked.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A TREATMENT IS AN OPERATION

The word treatment is usually applied to a prayer that is made for some specific purpose, as distinct from a general prayer, which is really a visit with God. You must remember that a treatment is a definite practical action, having a definite object and a definite beginning and end. It is in fact a surgical operation on the soul.

Let us suppose that you decide to heal a certain difficulty by prayer. You know that your difficulty must be caused by some negative thought charged with fear and located in the subconscious mind. You therefore turn to God, and remind yourself of His goodness, His limitless power, and His care for you. As you work the fear will begin to dissolve, and the awareness of the Truth corrects the erroneous beliefs themselves.

Thank God for the healing that you believe will come—and then you keep your thought off the matter until you feel led, after an interval, to treat again.

He sent his word, and healed them . . . (Psalm 107:20).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Eggs

Anyone can count the number of seeds in an apple, but only God can count the number of apples in a seed.

~ Anonymous ~

While watching a public television program on the process of human birth, I learned an astounding fact: When a female child is born, her body contains all the eggs she will ever produce as a woman.

This fact bears tremendous symbolic import: When we arrive on earth, we contain all the potential for everything we will ever accomplish. No matter how long we are here or what we do, we cannot add to our potential. The question is not, “How much potential do you have?” It is, "How much potential will you live?”

The word education is derived from the Latin educare, meaning “to draw forth from within." True learning is not accomplished by pounding something new into our psyche; it is allowing our innate wisdom to come forth. Much of what we call education is not a drawing forth, but rather an indoctrination or regimentation. Real education spotlights a child's uniqueness and stimulates her to discover and act on her natural talents.

What would you be doing differently if you knew that the seeds of greatness were already with you? Everything you need to succeed has been given to you.

"What you are is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God."

You made me what lam. Help me to live it.

I have all that I need to succeed. I put my gifts into action and draw success to me.