Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - October

[bluidkiti]

October 17

Step by Step

Today, no regrets, grief, sense of loss or the bitter from the sweet of what I must leave behind in my journey toward sobriety. Some people and places that were a significant, even enabling part of my life in my drinking days may no longer have a place in my new life in recovery, and I must be prepared that I may have to cut some losses in order to attain greater gains. If I am reluctant to move on without someone or something that was an influential part of my life as a drinking alcoholic, may I be able to remove myself from the emotional and use the logic to ask if maintaining old ties is worth the risk to my recovery. If so, I have no choice but to move on although I will never be alone. Today, if my sobriety requires it, I may have to make the tough choices between what once was seemingly precious to me and moving toward something even more precious. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ACTION

Faith is spelled A-C-T-I-O-N.

~ Anonymous ~

Again and again, we are told that our recovery program is, above all, one of action. We are constantly reminded that "nobody can do it for you." Yet the action in our Program is not a singular effort. It involves every member.

In a boatload of people, one person paddling with a single oar will make little progress. Everyone must row if the whole boatload is to survive. Our Program truly is a fellowship. We all work together toward our common goal, recovery. Each of us contributes to the progress of all.

During the times we were driven by our addictions and compulsions, we were often uneasy about our friendships. The new friendships we’ve found in recovery are some of the rewards of our present lifestyle.

I am learning that unless I take action to further my recovery, faith and growth are impossible. But I need my friendships also. In recovery, I don't “think less of myself, I think of myself less."

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I see God in every human being.

~ Mother Teresa of Calcutta ~

In our spiritual development, we learn to see expressions of the creator, the ultimate good, in many places in our daily life. We may imagine that God is a distant figure that we cannot know. But many great spiritual thinkers of various religions teach us to see God within every person. That includes ourselves. We are created by God and we have a right to be here. No matter what we have done, our being is still a creation of the ultimate and we ought to hold ourselves in high esteem. When we accept this spiritual truth, what follows is that we honor ourselves and our actions express self-respect.

After we accept that God is within every fiber of our being, we can also greet all fellow human beings with honor for the God within them. This is not something that comes easily or by simple decision. It is a wisdom that grows when we come to terms with our defects and accept them as part of our whole being. We don’t have to be perfect in order to honor the God within us.

Today I accept the ultimate truth of God within me and all people I see.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Our anxiety about clarifying what we think and how we feel may be greatest in our most important relationships.

~ Harriet Lerner ~

We want love and acceptance from everybody, especially our most intimate friends. Because we fear their judgment—or even worse, their rejection—we pale at the thought of letting them know who we really are, what we really think, how we really feel.

Yet when we don’t let the important people in our lives know us fully, we never feel secure. We live in fear that they will leave us. Acknowledging that our happiness is this tentative can help us take the plunge into real honesty with others. What have we got to lose?

We couldn’t have taken this risk of honesty before coming to this program of recovery. But here we have role models to look to, sponsors to talk to, and a Higher Power to pray to. We will be able to do what we couldn’t do before, and our relationships will reflect it.

I can risk letting my friends see the real me today. My honesty, shared lovingly, won’t send them away.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I think I think too much

These days, I have several problems that I cannot solve. (A dual disorder is like that, I hear.) I work on them, but they aren't easy to resolve. Some days I just keep hashing them over and over. I can't let go. Soon I feel drained, anxious, and frustrated.

In talking with my sponsor about this painful spinning, I realized two things. First, it's in my nature to think and analyze. But being obsessed keeps me stuck and gets me nowhere. Second, as much as I want to be in control, I am not—my higher power is. The good news, however, is that I am developing a degree of faith. I have a sense that things will work out over time, whether I worry over them, feel bad about them, or not.

Today I will review Step Three and clear my mind by writing out a list of my problems.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

When they discover the center of the universe a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

~ Bernard Bailey ~

Things happen every day that can make us angry. If we let all the anger pile up, we’ll be carrying around a load so heavy our sobriety might collapse under the strain. But it’s surprisingly simple to lighten that load. One way is to express our anger openly and honestly when it’s appropriate. Another is to remember we aren’t the center of the universe.

When we humbly accept that we share the world with everyone else equally, we can choose to respond with understanding instead of anger. When another car cuts us off in traffic, it helps to remember that roads are there for everyone, not just us. It helps to remember that the actions of others are not necessarily aimed at us personally, however thoughtless and hurtful those actions might be. Others don’t sit around and plot ways to make us angry.

Now, by humbly accepting our rightful place in the world — no better or worse than anyone else’s — we can work to simplify our life, reduce our anger, and make room for a growing serenity and continued spiritual growth.

Today let me reduce my anger and grow in serenity.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had....

~ Erica Jong ~

There is a difference between admiring another or wanting to emulate someone you consider to be a role model and being jealous of other people. When you are jealous, you are not just focused on what others have, but on what others have that you do not.

Jealousy can arise from a sense of entitlement. You may feel that you are deserving of something you are not getting or that others have. Jealousy can also be an outcome of comparing yourself to others. You may consider that you have worked just as hard as others have. So you may think, “Why can’t I have what they have?” Insecurity can also lead to jealous feelings. You may think that what others have is something you will never achieve because you are not good enough.

Just as jealous feelings can arise and strengthen, so too can they arise and be minimized. Rather than berate yourself for what you feel you do not have, look closely at your life and the positive things in it. Breaking free from jealousy begins with how you think and then extends into taking action.

Rather than focus on what others have or are doing, I will focus on what I have and what I need to do.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We come into the world crying while all around us are smiling. May we so live that we go out of this world smiling while everybody around us is weeping.

~ Persian proverb ~

Do we matter to others? Have our lives touched the lives of others? Do we think of ourselves as important and worthwhile?

There are many lives we touch in a day, a week, months, or years. Each of these lives was meant to touch ours. We are meant to exist. We are children of our Higher Power and are watched constantly with love and concern.

We do matter to those around us. Birth, as well as death, heralds the entrance and the exit of a life filled with meaning and purpose. We were meant to be here now, not only for ourselves but for the many lives around us. Our lives are important and worthwhile to all the people we know.

Help me see tonight that my life matters. Just as others have touched me, so have I touched the lives of others.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Having a Higher Power

Our program is spiritual. To work the program, we need to recognize a Higher Power. New knowledge becomes available through new instruments. We did not have much knowledge of the stars until the telescope or much knowledge of germs until the micro-scope. You can think of the Twelve Steps as an instrument—a means to realizing and remembering you have a Higher Power.

When we want to explore what lies be-yond the five senses, we have to use an instrument that reaches beyond these senses. When we sincerely ask our Higher Power, it will show us an answer. Maybe not with writing on the wall, but we will be guided. After all, how did we get to this program?

Am I in touch with my Higher Power?

Higher Power, help me use the Twelve Steps as an instrument to gain knowledge of your presence in my life.

Today I will improve my conscious contact with my Higher Power by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Regret is an appalling waste of energy, you can't build on it: it's only good for wallowing in.

~ KATHERINE MANSFIELD ~

Newcomer

Someone I hoped would be an important part of my life for years to come has left. I'm devastated. I don't know how much of what happened is my fault; I keep thinking, "lf only I hadn't said what I said . . ."

Sponsor

Human lives are filled with all kinds of separation. Friends, mates, family members—the people in our lives are only lent to us. If they accompany us for some part of our journey, we're blessed. We don't get to control or keep them.

Sentences beginning "if only" can go nowhere but straight to regret. They support our false belief that we can control what happens in other people's lives. "I should have," "I could have," and "I would have" are all variations on the same theme. They postpone acceptance and necessary grieving.

At times it's we ourselves who do the leaving. We can count it a success, not a failure, when we've had the courage to acknowledge the truth of an ending.

Today, though I may go through some pain as I learn acceptance, I rejoice in the strength and clarity it gives me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In your AA talks you may have the eloquence of a Patrick Henry, but if your AA work stops there, you are only fooling the new man temporarily. He will soon get wise to the fact that you are but a phonograph, nice to listen to but of no use to anyone beyond this one function.

Beautiful sentiments need lovely actions or they have but little value. Lovely actions speak for themselves.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Wisdom

Father of Light, You have promised
To give wisdom generously
To all who ask in faith.
Please give me wisdom;
Make me wise to know Your way for me,
Wise to make good decisions,
Wise to be useful to others,
And wise to understand Your word.
May Your Spirit give me wisdom
That I may know Your will,
That I may honor You
And find pleasure in obeying You.

~ Author unknown ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHAT IS "SEEKING THE KINGDOM"?

Seek the kingdom of God, and his righteousness ; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33).

The principle that Jesus expressed in these words is the basic law that underlies all answer to prayer. Many people know this in theory but are confused about putting it into practice. They think, “I will ignore this problem and think about God instead.” Here there is a subtle mistake; because they are really thinking of their problem as existing in one place, of God as existing in another, and of themselves as going in thought from the first place to the second place. This, of course, is by implication to reaffirm the existence of the problem in its own place, and such a belief will not heal.

What we have to do is to seek the Kingdom in the very place where the trouble seems to be. We have to know that in Truth and reality it is nor there, because God is there. When we succeed in doing this, the difficulty disappears.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Sensitive Souls

Great geniuses have the shortest biographies. Their cousins can tell you nothing about them.

~ James Thurber ~

In a college psychology class, I was required to read a book subtitled The Mental Institution as a Last Resort. The book's thesis was that many people in mental institutions are not crazy, but just more sensitive than most people in the society. The authors suggested that many mental patents are simply too finely strung to fit into the mainstream, and an institution is a safe place-similar to an ashram or monastery where they can be who they are without having to adapt to a society that is in many ways more insane than they are.

Hilda Charlton noted that souls who are particularly fine-tuned emotionally, artistically, or spiritually are often unable to cope with the heaviness of the world, and so they turn to various addictions to escape. Alcoholics, drug addicts, and many mental patients are highly evolved souls who cannot find comfort, acceptance, or a forum for expression in their worldly circles, so they sedate their sense of homelessness with chemicals or insanity. Indeed, many great artists, musicians, thinkers, inventors, and visionaries have sought to take refuge in addiction or illusion.

A Course in Miracles confirms that we do need to escape from the world we see, for it is not a place of truth or Godliness. But, the Course asserts, we will not find refuge if we follow the promptings of fear; if you must escape, then escape into truth.

In the Hindu culture, holy men and women are revered and cared for by the society. Saints and mystics are not tested, prodded, poked, cross examined, rationalized, written off, and shunned as they are in the West. In that culture, genuine visionaries are supported to do their spiritual work while people care for their worldly needs and responsibilities.

Let us honor our sensitivity and create a supportive space for talented souls to express our true self.

I pray to create a world in which the gifts of God are respected and empowered.

I express my artistic nature with courage and confidence.