Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - October

[bluidkiti]

October 28

Step by Step

Today, if I still hold onto emotions like resentment, anger, grief or bitterness and will not or cannot yet free myself of them, today I at least will not take on other feelings that I cannot handle. Recovery is partly about getting rid of the garbage and self-defeatism acquired before and during my drinking days; it is not about acquiring more of the same. In refusing to take on any more, I at least will have something less to work through and, in fact, might be able to take on what exists one feeling at a time. Today, my recovery will focus on getting rid of what needs to be gone and not on collecting more of what I do not need. All I need remember is to “Let Go and Let God,” and not take back that of which I let go. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

STINKING THINKING

I affirm life; I challenge problems; I accept responsibility; I believe in God; I live today.

~ Elizabeth Lamb ~

It's not good looks, a charming personality, or brain power that keeps us in recovery. It's our attitude that makes the difference. Our disease is characterized by the reality of relapse. Most relapses come from a bad attitude. In the Fellowship, we call that stinking thinking. Attitudes lead us toward a healthy and happy recovery or into relapse. It's our choice.

When our attitudes are bad, we "talk the talk, but don't walk the walk." We tell people what they want to hear, but we really don't believe what we're saying. We act grandiose. We think we don't need to follow all the principles and disciplines of the Program. Stinking thinkers keep their minds closed. They are defensive and blame others for their problems. Having a bad attitude doesn't always lead to relapse, but it's like putting one foot out the door.

When my thinking starts to stink, I check my commitment to my recovery and remember I am responsible for the attitudes I choose.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Men can’t always do what a man’s gotta do to feel like a man and still do what a man’s gotta do to be a man.

~ Frank Pittman ~

In this program, we are living a little bit outside of the mainstream. We are more focused on being the real thing than on appearances. In the popular image, a real man is self-sufficient, strong, invulnerable, able to withstand any challenge and go it alone. Playing that role might make us feel like a man, but we are still left with insecurities because we know that inside we are just putting up a front.

To be a man, we are stronger when we are big enough to accept our weaknesses and make no excuses for them. Of course, we don’t have to bare our souls to everyone. But we develop genuine, trusting friendships and we are honest with ourselves and with trusted friends. We show love to our loved ones. We may have been taught that being vulnerable makes us not masculine. But we are amazed to find that we are more approachable and more interesting when we are genuine.

Today I accept my vulnerabilities and my loving feelings and allow my trusted friends to know me as I am.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

There is magic in our souls. The adventure of recovery is finding that magic and allowing it to come forth.

~ Dudley Martineau ~

Our lives are so different now that we are in recovery. The smallest problems used to plague us. Seldom did we know how to handle even minor conflicts. Our confidence waned. Faith was even more remote. Now our lives seem magical at times. How profoundly different each day, each experience looks to us now.

But where has the magic come from? How can a simple program with only a suggested set of guide-lines change everything about our lives? Reading words like these, going to meetings, seeking the counsel of a sponsor on a regular basis, and making the Twelve Steps central to our lives is all the effort it takes. We discover that nothing overwhelms us anymore. And we have guardian angels who will direct every action if we so choose. There’s the magic.

I will let the magic of this program work for me today. I won’t be at a loss when I must come to any decision today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am letting go of blame

My first response to my dual disorder was to ignore it. Then I didn’t believe it. Then I denied it. As I came to see that I couldn’t just wish it away, I looked for a scapegoat. If I had to suffer, someone or something was at fault. One by one, I blamed my illnesses on parents, family, job, god, bad luck-but mostly, and most hurtfully, I blamed them on myself.

But now, with a period of sobriety and stability, I see how little it matters who or what is to blame. What I experience are two no-fault biological illnesses. What I am learning in my journey is that the more energy I concentrate on recovery, the healthier and happier I'll be.

I will pray to release myself (and others) from blame.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A little neglect may breed great mischief.

~ Benjamin Franklin ~

Some of us neglected our families during active addiction. Our pain was so great that we had nothing left to offer others. We retreated into our own world, leaving our families wondering where we had gone. We may have neglected our families financially, too, spending everything we had to feed our addiction.

We may find it easy to fall into the same pattern again, neglecting our families as we pursue recovery. We must find a balance between our own needs and the needs of our families. Our recovery must come first, but it should never be the only priority in our new lives. Financial stability is important, but we need to spend time with those we love.

Asking our families how they feel, and listening carefully to them, can help us regain our balance. Talking to them openly can help heal old wounds and misunderstandings. We don’t do this until we are ready, but when we are, it is an important and loving part of our recovery, and the recovery of our family.

Today help me recover my balance. Help me be compassionate toward the needs of my family.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

To be a leader, you have to make people want to follow you, and nobody wants to follow someone who doesn’t know where he is going.

~ Joe Namath ~

There are two components to sponsorship: finding a sponsor and being one. It is recommended that new-comers get a sponsor during the first month of sobriety, If you are unsure who to ask, ask others if they would recommend someone for you.

To be a good sponsor, you need to be able to provide insight about the Steps and the philosophy and purpose of the program. If you have worked through the Steps with your own sponsor, then you will be familiar with the process and serve as a good guide when the person you are sponsoring begins Step work.

It is important for you to be available to attend some meetings with the person you are sponsoring. Also, understand that you may receive late-night phone calls, By the same token, set boundaries so you are able to pay attention to your own sobriety and so the person you are sponsoring does not become overly dependent upon you, Provide encouragement so the person you are sponsoring speaks at meetings, shares with others, and develops a relationship with a Higher Power.

One of the greatest tools of the program is having a sponsor or being one.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Tears may linger at nightfall, but joy comes in the morning. Carefree as I was, I had said, 'I can never be shaken.' But, Lord, it was Thy will to shake my mountain refuge. . . .

~ from Psalm 30 ~

A great force has shaken us from our caves of isolation. We may have first felt this force at our first meeting. Somehow, we knew we had made the right choice. We belonged.

We next felt this force during a time of incredible need and fear. We may have wanted to run to the farthest reaches of our caves, but once again we felt something telling us to stay vulnerable and remain exposed. We may then have fallen to our knees or simply closed our eyes and silently asked for help.

Our prayers have been answered. Today we know we always have that cave to run into, but we seem to need it less. The great force that shook us from our refuge also gave us refuge. Tonight—as always—we are safe and secure as we stand exposed to the world.

There is a great force in my life who has saved me from isolation, desolation, and despair. I feel wonderful because of this!

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Harmonizing conflicts

Our doubts and conflicts are strong reminders that we are not living harmoniously with our Higher Power’s will for us. These conflicts grow out of our own attempt to give meaning and significance to our lives, rather than letting our Higher Power fill our lives with meaning and significance. Our own meaning is usually based on ego, money, and pleasure.

The meaning we desire comes through love, patience, and kindness, practices we often resist. If we lived according to our Higher Power’s will, doubts and conflicts would not exist. We have gauges to measure our conscious contact. Harmony in our lives means we are working with our Higher Power. Conflict in our lives means we are straying from our Higher Power.

Is my life full of harmony?

Higher Power, keep me on course; keep me from drifting away from your will for me today.

I will peacefully work at resolving the following conflict today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Nothing is more difficult than competing with a myth.

~ FRANQOISE GIROUD ~

Newcomer

I've been spending time with someone I have a lot in common with. We've spent the last several weekends doing things together; I assumed that I could count on company for a weekend outing that's coming up. Now it tums out that my friend isn't willing to go. I'm really upset; I guess I'm overreacting, but my first thought was that this isn't much of a relationship if I'm going to end up by myself on a weekend.

Sponsor

It sounds as if you have a solid basis for a continuing connection with this person, and that you've reached one of those bumps in the road that occur in all relationships between real human beings. Differences are a part of life; conflicting wishes often have to be negotiated.

Many of us approach both friendship and romance with mythical notions of perfection. When the myth is challenged, we may be tempted to leave and find a "better" partnership, without attempting to resolve the problem. Anger, loneliness, and pain occur in good relationship, relationships that are worth keeping and working on. Sometimes what we've believed to be a relationship problem is instead a problem within ourselves. Exploring these questions usually involves experiencing some discomfort. It's part of any growth process.

Today, I don't expect one person to meet all of my needs, all of the time. I accept that relationships worth keeping have their imperfections and limitations.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Carrying your own troubles may be likened to a man trying to pick up a board that he is standing on. He has his own weight to contend with as well as the weight of the board.

It is much easier to carry the other man's burdens for we are standing away from the problem. We can view the problem impersonally and thoughtfully. We can show him where he is standing in his own way, direct him to take hold of his end of the problem and allow us to lift the other end. The weight, distributed between the two of us, will become relatively easy to handle.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

A New Freedom and Happiness

Dear God, I remember the days that were controlled by my desires. The constant need to bow to the demands of my addiction. It made all decisions for me. There was a false freedom and a small bit of happiness. Thank You, God, for helping me work the first nine Steps of our Program. I am no longer a slave to my addictions. Freedom has come with abstinence, so has joy, gratitude, and love for others and myself. I have more work to do. God help me on my journey.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SHACK OR PALACE?

There is no use in merely saying everything will be all right. Thinking rightly, of course, means putting God into all your affairs and expecting him to change them. For example, if you are living in a shack it is not any good pretending that it is a palace. Cheap optimism is never spiritual. Realize that you are living in a shack, but claim the Presence of God to guide you to something better.

Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path. . . (Psalm 27:71).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Walking the Talk

The louder he talked of his honor the faster we counted out spoons.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

At a spiritual conference, a sum of money was stolen from the table of one of the vendors. The fellow became angry and sought to lay blame. When the theft was announced to find out if anyone in the large audience had any information, silence ruled. Then a speaker named Carolyn raised her hand and suggested, “I would be willing to auction off a counseling appointment and donate the money to the man who lost his income. Who will make the first bid? ” By the time the bidding was done, the auction yielded an income of more than twice the woman’s regular fee, which equaled the amount the vendor had lost.

I was inspired by Carolyn’s willingness to help; it showed me that she is willing to live what she teaches. Such integrity is a magnificent demonstration that the spiritual path is only as real as we are willing to live it.

Many of us talk a good game, but how many of us put it into action? Lao-Tse noted, “He who says, does not know. He who knows, does not say. ” We do not need to talk a lot about what we are doing; we just need to do it. When we talk too much, we dissipate the energy we could be putting into action.

Words, although potentially powerful, are the least reliable index of who we are and what we believe. Emerson noted, “What you are speaks to me so powerfully that I can hardly hear what you are saying.” We can lie with words, but not with our being. We can fool ourselves and others with rhetoric, but only actions reveal who and what we really are.

I pray to live what I believe. Help my action match my words.

My deeds reflect my soul’s truth. I am integrated in thought, word, and action.