Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - October

[bluidkiti]

October 29

Step by Step

” …(A) terrible thing happened. I ran out of people! Even my family didn’t have much use for me. When they saw me coming, they locked up the silverware and everything else of value. I felt very lonely and hurt, because nobody understood me. I felt very sorry for myself and attempted suicide on many occasions, making sure there was always somebody within reaching distance to see that I didn’t finish the job. Any time I tried to kill myself, I was either drunk or pilled up or both …” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 4 (“Belle of the Bar”), pp 478-79.

Today: ” I ran out of people, ” …nobody understood me,” “I felt very sorry for myself.” What once was my prescription for life now sounds pathetic. I refused or couldn’t understand anyone else because I was too self-absorbed. I felt sorry for myself because I had nothing to give or even offer anyone else. And I ran out of people because I drove them away with my expectations that they make my wants and needs their total focus. As we sober up, we recover. As we recover, we see what we allowed our addictions to do to us and, in the end, what they did made us pathetic souls. In sobriety, I have no use, no excuse, no need and don’t want to be that pathetic creature who expects to be the focus of everyone else’s attention and, when I’m not, lash out in self-righteous indignation. I am not perfect in sobriety, but I don’t have to be and I’m grateful to say I’m not the pathetic self-seeker I once was. So it goes for progress in recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

A SWELLED HEAD

The true snob never rests; there is always a higher goal to attain, and there are, by the same token, always more and more people to look down upon.

~ Russell Lynes ~

Recovery feels good! It feels good to get a good night's sleep, eat right, have friends, and be more at peace. After a while on the Program our foggy minds cleared up. We could actually read and remember what we read. Our emotions calmed down. We felt proud of our progress.

At moments like these we must remember by whose Power we achieve such joy. It is not our own. If we let ourselves think we did it all on our own, pride swells our head and stops our growth. We can become cocky, thinking we've got it made, and drift back to slippery people and places.

A swelled head has no place in my Program. I must keep in mind that I didn't get this far to rest and stop growing.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.

~ Albert Schweitzer ~

It is possible to be spiritually dead while walking around, living and breathing. Many of us have been there. We lost our way. Our hearts and our self-respect were dissolved by alcohol or chemicals and we became so involved in controlling others that we completely lost contact with the soul at our core. But even at that low ebb, some small glowing ember of spirit remained.

In recovery, the hot embers have been fanned back to life. We may sense that we still have a long way to go, but even that feeling rises from a live spirit within us. It’s never a matter of how well developed our spirituality is, but whether we are in touch with it or not. Once we begin to have a relationship with our soul, with our Higher Power, we are alive at our core.

Today I am grateful for the spiritual life I am leading.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Clarifying my own values is an important ingredient in my using the Serenity Prayer. From that I have the “wisdom to know” the things I can and cannot change about a situation.

~ Rose Casey ~

This program helps us discover our values. Doing a moral inventory and then weighing our assets and shortcomings gives us clarity regarding the person we are and the person we hope to become. Let’s not be concerned that we didn’t know ourselves before. The past is past; today is where our opportunities begin.

Today will offer us a host of experiences about which we must make decisions, form judgments, take actions. If we know our values, we will not be troubled by these experiences. And yet living according to our values takes practice. We were probably good at doing what others did to fit in. Taking the risk of not fitting in is a profound decision that can benefit us in untold ways.

My values will guide me as I decide what to do in every situation I face today. Without this program, I’d still be in constant quandaries.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel better when I stay active

I remember one day when I first felt deeply depressed. I was sitting in a chair, overwhelmed and unsure how to cope. I sensed my dark thoughts getting darker. Eventually I could hardly move, hardly think. I felt paralyzed.

These days as I look back, I'm actually grateful for that experience—not because I enjoyed it, but because it still teaches me what to avoid. I now see that depressive symptoms are a signal for me to get active. I've learned that painful thoughts slow me down and that inactivity reinforces the pain. Action, however, helps keep my mind clear and gives me energy. To avoid getting bogged down in painful thoughts, I need to be physically active on a regular basis.

Today I will be physically active for twenty minutes.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Learning to laugh makes the universe fall away.

~ Kay Caskey ~

Laughter gives us a different perspective. It is the great healer of spirits and hearts and it dissolves barriers between ourselves and others. When we laugh with another human being we build bridges instead of walls. Laughter helps us close the distance in our relationships.

Laughter relaxes us from the ground up. Sometimes it is only after a good laugh that we realize how much tension we were carrying. It’s like putting down a heavy load and sighing with relief at how light we feel.

Laughter even strengthens our immune system and promotes healing. It boosts our self-esteem and emotional well-being.

Laughter is a true friend. Sometimes we forget to invite it into daily life, but we delight in welcoming it back.

Today let me realize the healing qualities of laughter in my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr, from “The Serenity Prayer” ~

The Serenity Prayer has become both a staple and one of the most powerful tools of the recovery program. The first phrase lets you understand that God, a Higher Power, or your personal concept of a greater presence is available to you. It applies the word serenity to the process of accepting the things you cannot change in your life. The second phrase uses the word courage as it advises you to think about what you can change in your life. The third phrase provides the word wisdom in reference to the knowledge you gain by learning how to differentiate between what you are capable of changing and those things you cannot change.

The Serenity Prayer can provide guidance and support In other areas of life. If you are having a difficult time in your job, with your family, or in any other area in which you feel helpless or stuck, say the Serenity Prayer. Listen to the meaning contained within each phrase so you can learn how to let go of the people, places, and things you | cannot change and focus instead on the actions you can take to effect positive change in yourself.

I will use the Serenity Prayer whenever I need guidance.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

~ Indian proverb ~

Wouldn't it be foolish if we sat in our room tonight and moaned about how dark it is? All we would have to do is reach over and turn on the light. Yet aren't there times when we call on God to help us when we can really help ourselves?

Establishing a conscious contact with our Higher Power doesn't mean we're going to build a dependency on this Power. This Being doesn't exist for us to make request after request for things we can do ourselves. It's okay to ask for God's safety and guidance in the midst of difficult situations, but it's up to us to take the initiative for our own safety and well-being.

Whenever we need guidance, safety, security, peace, and strength, we can certainly call on our Higher Power. But let's make sure we take responsibility when it’s needed. God works through us, not for us.

What can I take responsibility for in my life tonight? Help me help myself.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Thirteenth-Stepping

Thirteenth-Stepping is the act of moving too fast too soon, confusing lust for love. Some recovering addicts latch on to a newcomer in the fellowship, attempting to fulfill their own sexual desires. This has been called Thirteenth-Stepping.

Newcomers—who are feeling ashamed, helpless, and lonely—are only too glad to grab on to someone for a little security. But newcomers need, above all, to learn to stay clean and sober. To Thirteenth-Step a person only makes one concentrate on the relationship rather than on the program.

Do I know how to Twelfth-Step without getting too involved?

Higher Power, help me to stop with the Twelfth Step.

Today I will look at my sexuality and

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.

~ HELEN KELLER ~

Newcomer

Sometimes I still feel shame about having this addiction. It comes up when I'm with nonprogram friends and have to go to a meeting. It comes up when a relative says, "you mean you're still going to those meetings?"

Sponsor

The stigma attached to having an addiction has lessened because of widespread awareness of Twelve Step recovery programs and an understanding of heredity and the "disease concept" of addiction. While there may still be some who believe that addiction is a moral deficiency that willpower can eliminate, most of us who are in programs of recovery have let go of this incorrect belief.

Though guilt and shame are often experienced together, they are different. We feel guilty about an incident or behavior; the process of acknowledgment and amends addresses guilt for things we wish we hadn't done. Shame is an attitude we have toward some aspect of ourselves. Few of us are entirely without it. Shaming others is one way that people try to cope with their own shame.

I'm glad that you can talk about this lingering problem. Bringing shame out of darkness, sharing about it in appropriate ways with those we trust, is the path toward healing and freeing ourselves from it.

Today, I face my old feelings of shame. I'm worthy of love and acceptance just as I am.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We human beings are no more miraculous than the ape organically. We do not even have some powers possessed by brute creation—for example, we cannot change color at will as can some reptiles. We can't change our physical make-up as the tadpole does when it becomes a frog, or a caterpillar when it changes into a butterfly.

Yet we are the miracle of all miracles, for we alone have a soul, which enables us to transcend this planet and commune with God himself.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

We Will Not Regret the Past

My Creator, by cleaning house and taking my inventory I have been able to honestly face myself and stop hiding from the world and myself. I am learning what kind of person I am. This is necessary for maintaining abstinence and preventing a slip.

Without awareness of what the past did to me, I cannot truly carry the message of hope and the gift of recovery to those who desperately need it. God, I pray to visit my past but never live in it for long.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

PRAYING WITH A FEATHER

Years ago many devoted preachers and Sunday School teachers were fond of telling people to "pray hard." Well-meaning as this advice was, it was mistaken. I often tell people to pray "soft," which, of course, means gently.

I do this because I know that the more quietly and gently we pray, the better results we get. In prayer, as in many other activities, effort defeats itself. More than once I have said to my congregation, "Pray with a feather—not with a pickax."

Always pray gently, and especially if you have a good deal of fear, or if your difficulty seems to be a very important one.

For thou , Lord , art good , and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee (Psalm 86:5).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Spit It Out

Truth is always straightforward.

~ Sophocles ~

Ben sat his eight-year-old daughter down to tell her that he and her mommy were getting divorced. He stammered and hedged for a few minutes, until the little girl finally blurted out, “Come on, Daddy, what are you—chicken? Why don’t you just spit it out? ”

Children usually know the truth before we tell them. In their innocence and openness, their antennae are up, and they see things we believe we can keep concealed. Children exemplify a faculty we all have. Everyone is psychic, and everyone always knows what is going on. In your conscious mind, you may be asleep, but subconsciously you know the truth. There is a book entitled To Be Alive Is to Be Psychic. Many of us were quite psy–chic as children, but when our parents reprimanded us for talking about our intuitions, premonitions, or invisible playmates, we quickly learned to shut down and play dumb.

Lies are perpetuated only when both parties agree to the lie. If someone lies to you, a place in you knows that what you have heard is untrue. If you do not confront the lie, it is because you have some investment in keeping the lie going. If more of us would own our ability to know the truth and tell it, the world would be quickly transformed.

Practice telling the truth and calling others to tell the truth. If you see something that is not in integrity, shine the light on it. If you have something to say, imagine that the person you are going to address already knows it on some level. So do we come closer to living our true nature as omniscient beings.

Give me the courage to speak the truth I know. Support me as I claim my higher knowing.

The truth is my friend. Integrity empowers me to succeed.