Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - January

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January 4

Step by Step

” …(O)ur problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 7 (“Working With Others”), p 103.

Today, the fights have been many, the injuries deep and some scars permanent. Lies have been bountiful, hurt to myself and others indelible, and the fun ceased long ago if it ever was fun at all. Enough is enough. To continue as is, is a spiral downward into a pit from which there may be no escape; to change course now, hope prevails. Today is the day I begin to answer what exists in my emotional and spiritual psyche that is fueled by alcoholic drinking, and I have grown tired of “fighting anybody or anything.” My hope cannot be in my own will power; it is as mythical as the magical unicorn. Hope now falls on AA and my commitment to honestly and diligently working its steps and principles. There, I have no reason to fight anyone and anything – other than my own resistance to surrender completely. Today, enough is enough; I surrender. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HELPING OTHERS

Gratitude should go forward, rather than backward.

~ Bill W. ~

When we realize how much the Pro-gram and others have helped us, it becomes our responsibility to help others. Our Twelfth Step suggests we carry the message to those who still suffer. Many of our fellows are also suffering in recovery. We need to remember to help those who may need our Fellowship as well as those in our Fellowship.

Life is no longer a dead end without hope. With the gifts we have received from the Program, we are able to help others. Our spiritual progress is easily measured by our positive actions. We are only asked to be helpful and leave the results to our Higher Power.

Bill W. said, “If you carry the message to still others, you will be making the best possible repayment for the help given you.” I want to give back what I have received by sharing the Program with others.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Be patient with everyone| but above all with yourself.

~ Saint Francis de Sales ~

The path of healing and recovery sets challenging standards. We are asked to “turn our will and our lives over,” to be “searching and fearless” in our moral inventory, and to make amends to all those we have harmed. Many of us have lifelong habits of over- criticizing ourselves and condemning ourselves for who we are. When we face challenging standards, we can’t meet them perfectly. This is a program of progress, not perfection.

If we are not seeking to attain perfection, then, we need to deepen our understanding of what we are seeking. The answer is in the slogan “Keep coming back.” It’s a slogan usually applied to the idea of continuing to return to meetings, even if we don’t see our way clearly at first. But it also applies to meeting standards. We don’t seek perfection; we seek to keep coming back to the Steps of recovery because it is a given that we will keep falling off them. It is only when we stop returning to the Steps that we get seriously off track.

Today I will be patient with my progress on this healing journey.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Each of my days are miracles. I won’t waste my day; I won’t throw away a miracle.

~ Kelley Vickstrom ~

It’s so easy to forget to be grateful for our many blessings. We may take our freedom from the compulsion to drink or use for granted. Having learned to monitor our behavior and change it when necessary, we seldom treasure this skill as an asset.

The rut of complacency claims all of us at one time or another. And our complacency can lead us to the stinking thinking that’s only a step away from drinking or using or some other compulsive behavior. Having sponsors point out our complacency may irritate us, but it may also save our lives.

Practicing gratitude will keep us aware of the small and large miracles that we have experienced on this recovery journey: We remember where we were last night (thanks to the clear vision of abstinence). We have reconciled with family members.

In fact, we are walking miracles, and God has a plan for the rest of our lives. Let’s be ready for it.

I will try to be attentive to every moment of today, knowing that each experience is part of the miracle of my life.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am no longer denying my feelings

I used to use chemicals all the time to forget my feelings—loneliness, anxiety, dread. Anytime I had strong or painful feelings, I promptly got high. In fact, I tried to make sure I was high much of the time, to make sure no painful feelings could creep in.

Now in dual recovery, I am changing. I am practicing living with my feelings—some of which I still don’t want; many of which I didn’t realize I had. Sometimes I still get overwhelmed. But in a way, I’m grateful for my emotions. As painful or frightening as they are at times, I am getting to know myself better and I like who I am learning to see.

I will keep a “feelings log” today. I’ll jot down my strong feelings and note any people involved.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Draw from others the lesson that may profit yourself.

~ Terence ~

Our Twelve Step program offers us the best education in the world, free of charge. Everybody in recovery has something to teach us, if we’ll listen. Each of us has a unique set of experiences and background, problems and solutions to share. From each other we can learn about recovery, and about the world, too. We can hear what it’s like to live on the streets, even if we didn’t lose everything to addiction. We can learn how others got their families involved in a Twelve Step program of their own. We can learn about the problems we may encounter at work, how to avoid them, and how to solve them. We can hear from someone who has been there, rather than through relapse, how it feels to be addicted to another substance.

The experience of others gives us a rare chance to broaden our horizons. We can learn how it feels to be a member of a minority, how to love ourselves enough to combat hatred, how to triumph from adversity. Most important, by listening to others with respect and love, we can learn to truly value other people, even those who are different from us.

Today help me appreciate the teachings of my Twelve Step program. Help me continue to learn.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

You cannot weave truth in a loom of lies.

~ Suzette Haden Elgin ~

Before you admitted you were powerless, you may have created a false reality that enabled you to see yourself as you wanted to be and validated the lies you fabricated. The worse your addiction became, the more lies you may have told and the more you repressed the truth—until eventually the lies became the truth.

Honesty is not simply the absence of lying, but the commitment to truthfulness. The program teaches you the difference between being honest and being rigorously honest. Admitting you are powerless over your addiction is being honest.

But rigorous honesty means living each day with total awareness of what is true and what is untrue, and speaking always to the truth, no matter how painful. As you go to meetings, be inspired by the honesty of others. As you work with your sponsor, learn how to view your past actions and behaviors with an objective eye. As you read and reflect upon the teachings of the Big Book, gain a greater understanding about the importance of honesty with yourself and others. As you follow the Steps, seek total honesty with yourself. As you connect with your Higher Power, learn how honesty can lead to forgiveness.

Today I will be honest with myself and with others.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Happiness is not pleasure. Happiness is victory.

~ Zig Ziglar ~

Many people believe happiness is measured in material terms: a house, money, lots of clothes. Others believe it’s found in enjoyable moments: a sunset, dinner with friends, a walk in the woods. Although happiness is all these things, it’s also the feeling we get when we have achieved something we’ve longed for and worked hard for. Happiness can be a personal victory.

To be victorious doesn’t mean we have to win. It can mean we’ve gone beyond an expected outcome and gained more than we hoped for. There have been times when we’ve experienced victory: passing a test, buying our first car, graduating from college, landing a job, living on our own. But all victories don’t have to be big. They can be as small and insignificant as losing a few pounds, going a few hours without a drink or other drug, not arguing with a family member, or taking an hour for ourselves.

Big or small, our victories are our happiness. Each one shows us we can do what we set out to do. Each helps build confidence in our abilities and is a boon to inn self-esteem. With each victory, we can be assured there will be another.

I can be happy for all my victories.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Learning new ways

Once we make a connection with our Higher Power, the ongoing problem is to hold on to it. Repeatedly we slip into our old ways of thinking and behaving. If not curtailed, eventually these will lead us back to that first fix, pill, or drink. We need only a word, thought, or familiar situation to get caught up again in an old habit.

We have to discover (and rediscover) that the old way of life has become impossible and the new one essential. We do this—and do it again—by praying, meditating, and working the Twelve Steps of recovery.

Am I living the program?

Higher Power, help me avoid being smug and complacent in my new life. Remind me that old ways of living have become impossible for me.

The new ways of living that I will cultivate today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Later is now.

~ ROSEANNE BARR ~

Newcomer

I guess I do have some addiction problems, but right now is a terrible time for me. I know you’d like me to be more involved, use the program more, but I need time—there’s something else I have to deal with first. I’ve tried talking about it at meetings, but no one really has much understanding of my particular problem.

Sponsor

I do respect the fact that there are pressing problems in your life and that you are going to have to face them. Addiction is, in one sense, a response to underlying issues we all have to deal with. And in addition to our inner problems, many of us enter recovery in the midst of some crisis—serious illness, separation, overdue taxes, even homelessness are situations some of us have had to face while newly recovering. I agree that your problems are real ones. But putting off recovery is not likely to help you with them. It may make things worse.

While I may not be able to help with the specifics of your situation, I can be here to share my experience, strength, and hope as a person in recovery. Recovery is the foundation of my life today. I make it my highest priority, and as time goes on I find the help and strength I need to resolve everything else I have to deal with. If you, too, have the willingness to face your addiction and show up for your recovery, I’m willing to be here.

Today, I let go of all obstacles to recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Pride in ancestry has kept many alcoholics from the humbleness that is a prime requisite of success in our pro-gram. The deeper one is in his cups, the greater is his remorse for his condition — not because of his descent to the level of the animal, but because of his betrayal of his noble family traditions.

Ancestry is good only when it in-spires living up to its traditions. When it becomes a throne built on other men’s accomplishments it is nothing.

We alcoholics should be reminded of Voltaire’s words when he said: “He who serves well has no need of ancestors.”

Let us think less of our ancestors and more about what kind of ancestors we will make.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) We never obsess about anything good.

2) Insanity is repeating the same mistakes over and over again and expecting different results.

3) Self-will cannot be overcome by Self-will.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Today’s Thought

I am but one, but I am one;
I can’t do everything,
But I can do SOMETHING;
What I can do, I ought to do,
What I ought to do, God helping me,
I WILL DO.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A NEW BIRTH

The prophet Isiah speaks of the “Name” of the Child and if we know something of Bible symbolism, we know that we are now going to learn something fundamental, for in the Bible, the name of anything means the character or nature of that thing. A name is not merely an arbitrary label, but actually a hieroglyph of the soul. We are given no less than five names of qualities of the Child.

First Isiah says that the name of the Child is Wonderful. The word wonderful used here requires careful scrutinization. As employed in the Bible, it implies a miracle—just that, and nothing less. The Bible repeatedly says that miracles can happen, and it gives detailed and circumstantial accounts of many specific cases. Moreover, it says that miracles always will happen if you believe them to be possible, and are willing to recognize the power of God, and to call upon it.

As soon as the Child is born in your consciousness, the miracle will come into your life. This does not mean simply that you well become resigned to your present circumstances, or that you will then be enabled to meet the same difficulties with a higher courage or a clearer brain. It means the miracle.

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

May I Feed You?

Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.

~ Katherine Mansfield ~

Waiting for the airplane to take off, I was happy to get a seat by myself. Just then, a flight attendant approached me and asked, “Would you mind changing your seat? A couple would like to sit together.” The only other available seat was next to a woman with both arms in casts, a black-and-blue face, and a gloomy aura. No way am I going to sit there, was my immediate thought. But then a deeper, quieter voice spoke, “Opportunity.” I took my new seat and discovered that Kathy had been in an auto collision, and she was on her way for therapy

When the snack of nuts and juice arrived, it did not take me long to realize that Kathy would not be able to feed herself. I considered offering to feed her but resisted, as it seemed too intimate a service to offer to a stranger. But then I decided that Kathy’s need was more important than my discomfort. I offered to help her eat, and although she too was un–comfortable about accepting, she did. The experience was exhilarating, and she and I grew close in a short period of time. By the end of the five-hour trip, my heart was fully alive, and the time was infinitely better spent than if I had just sat by myself.

I was very glad I had reached beyond my comfort zone to sit next to Kathy and feed her. Love always flows beyond human borders and dis–solves the fears that keep us separate. When we stretch to serve another, we grow to live in a larger, more rewarding world.

Help me move beyond the small self so I can connect with the hearts of others.

When I give love to another. I feed my own soul.