Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - January

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January 19

Step by Step

“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” – Step Seven

Today, Step Four requires a “searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves,” Step Five an admission to God, ourselves and another person the exact nature of our wrongs and Step Six to be willing for God to remove our character defects. Step Seven is the culmination of the gut-wrenching and brutally honest product of the previous three Steps and, in fact, some may be eager to ask their Higher Power to remove those defects. And in asking “humbly,” we do so in absolute honesty, a commitment to purge those demonic forces and for the strength and courage not to reclaim them. An unwritten footnote to this Step: in recovery, we no longer possess the luxury to hold onto a defect we don’t want or aren’t ready to surrender. Today, I’m ready to ask my Higher Power to unburden me of the weight of the shortcomings of my own making. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PLAYING GOD

He was like the cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.

~ George Eliot ~

Ego and conceit are familiar words to all or us. Self-centered and ego-inflated obsessions created the idea within our con- fused minds that we could control everyone and everything. We in recovery refer to that as “trying to play God.”

The world’s great men and women credit their successes to the realization that they could not rule all of mankind. Those who never learned went down in disaster, as history proves.

The lives of the great remind us that we can make our lives inspiring and leave footprints in the sands of time. We only need to follow their example of choosing to be trusted servants rather than arrogant tyrants.

Our Program teaches us that spiritual growth comes mainly from working in a simple manner with others as a team, all with a single purpose.

One of the elementary reasons why I am told to work at my conscious contact with my Higher Power is so that I can stop the mistake of trying to play God.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

For the person who has learned to let go and let be, nothing can ever get in the way again.

~ Meister Eckhart ~

We have to learn how to let go. It doesn’t come naturally until we have learned how. Letting go is a skill that comes when we see others doing it, and when we practice it. It comes when we accept that we are not completely separate individuals but part of a larger whole. Then we can turn our most vexing problems over to our Higher Power or let others deal with issues that don’t belong to us. Most of us worked hard to gain control of our lives and to manage the circumstances we faced. Becoming selective about what we try to control is a very adult skill that takes time and much life experience.

When we can finally let go and stand aside from the things we don’t need to manage, we get the payoff of liberation and peace of mind. Our burden is lightened and only the things that we can handle are left.

Today I will take every opportunity to practice the skill of letting go and letting be.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I walked across an open field at winter’s break as the sun danced on the last few drifts. I imagined my fears would melt one by one as I learned to love myself.

~ Laurel Lewis ~

Fear is as familiar as our image in a mirror. Although we have resolved many of the fears that bound us to old behavior, our original fears may have been replaced by new ones. Why are there so many things to be afraid of? New friends, old relationships, careers, family history, tomorrow . . .

Acknowledging our fear is the first step to getting free of its control. Naming the fear puts us in charge. Remembering that we have a loving Higher Power who won’t abandon us, even in the midst of our deepest fear, can help us get through too.

But loving our small, scared selves will be the most nurturing of all. Mothering ourselves, in the way we may have longed for mothering in our youth, will carry us through the most difficult times.

Fears are part of living. They are neither bad nor good; instead, they can teach us. They can help us learn to love more of ourselves.

I will welcome my fears today. They are my blueprint for who I am. God and I will comfort me with love.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want more freedom

My dual disorder has cost me some freedom. Life now feels complicated and cluttered. I have to take meds regularly (not to mention go for med checks), attend treatment several times a week and my Step meeting once a week. At times my disability feels like a cage.

While it’s true that recovery takes time, attention, and energy, it takes no more than my addiction did. The more I accept my illnesses and make dual recovery a regular part of my day, the more I can recover. And the more I recover, the more stable and self-reliant I can become, using my new strengths and coping skills. I am reclaiming my life as I rebuild it, one day at a time.

I will carefully follow the activities on today’s recovery plan—my path to freedom.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

One could say that I had a happy childhood, although I showed little talent for being happy.

~ Samuel Beckett ~

Our choices in relationships, careers, lifestyle, and expression of feelings and talents are often the result of our upbringing. Has the social climate changed significantly since our childhood? Have our family systems changed? Can we find ways to change old, ineffective behaviors?

Recovery offers us the gifts of responsibility and self-forgiveness. Now, as we begin to change, we can let go of the past and its pain. Our ability to change often starts by embracing our inner selves with forgiving, adult arms. In this act, we take responsibility for our own happiness, nurturing ourselves toward the new life we are finding in recovery.

We are earning our own love in a whole new way. We respect and honor our physical selves with rest, exercise, and nutritional food. We stimulate our minds with new ideas and experiences. And we send our spirits soaring through conscious contact with our Higher Power. We feel worthy of love, and even have enough to give some away. Now we are learning the talent for being happy.

Today grant me the power of self-forgiveness and the gift of hope.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Tell me, did you write the song “I’ll Never Smile Again”?

~ Cary Grant to Deborah Kerr in An Affair to Remember ~

Some people spend their lives searching for happiness. Others set guidelines to help determine when happiness is achieved. Yet searching for happiness can be elusive, defining it impossible, and setting guidelines conditional. The pursuit of happiness can be one of endless struggle, competition, frustration, and disappointment.

Rather than look outwardly for happiness, think about what makes you happy, no matter what you have in life, what your circumstances are, or how you are feeling. Maybe the song of birds brings you happiness. Perhaps your children or your pets make you happy. Maybe having coffee with a friend or engaging in a hobby makes you happy.

True happiness is not a feeling; it comes from within. It is the ability to keep an open heart and mind so you can let in those things that help you feel joy. It is the belief that good things can happen and difficult times will not last forever. It is the understanding that simple things— the smell of a fresh-baked cookie, the feel of snowflakes falling against your face, a hug, a beautiful sunrise—can bring happiness, if you are willing to let them in.

Today I will think about those people, places, and things that inspire happiness within me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

And if not now, when?

~ The Talmud ~

It’s so easy to put things off. Sometimes we’re like Scarlet O’Hara, who hoped and dreamed for a better life by saying, “There’s always tomorrow.” But is there always a tomorrow? If we live too many of our days counting on tomorrows, we may find ourselves putting off achievements and growth now.

What if tomorrow never came? What if all of our time to do what we wanted was put in the hours left in today? We’d be scurrying around like mice trying to cram as much as we could into this short period of time. But today, not having such a deadline, we believe our time is endless and no goal or task is so important that it can’t be put off.

The time to achieve is now. The time to live is now. For as long as we believe tomorrow will come, we’ll be living for tomorrow. If we don’t believe today is the greatest gift we could receive, we’ll never know how to live for today. Everything we want to achieve, to learn, to share can begin today. If we don’t live the best we can right now, then when?

Higher Power, help me learn to use my time wisely. Help me avoid putting things off.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking it easy

Easy does it. Pushing does not help our pro-gram; it only causes more pressure within us. “If it doesn’t work,” we have thought, “get a bigger hammer.” But if we only wait for the opportunity, we will be given the opportunity to work out each of our difficulties.

It is better to work out a problem by taking two steps forward and one step back, rather than to push and try to solve it at once, fail, and then stop trying. It helps to remember that we are never given more than we can handle, one day at a time.

Have I learned to take it easy?

Higher Power, I depend on you for my very breath. Help me realize that the more I depend on you, the more I accept your help, the more I can handle.

I will take it easy today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

… I always come to why, to the unfair, painful part of life.

~ MALKIA CYRIL ~

Newcomer

Today, I went to a meeting, but I could hardly hear the speaker. She spoke softly, and the fan was making too much noise. During the discussion period, she called on people by name; they must have been her friends. No one noticed me during the coffee break, and I left the meeting feeling worse than when I came in. I thought people in this fellowship were supposed to reach out to newcomers!

Sponsor

When I was active in my addiction, I “medicated” myself when I felt uncomfortable with other people. In recovery, I have had to learn new skills. Developing friendships, both in this fellowship and in the “real” world, takes time. Some of the people I see at meetings are still coping with problems like the ones I walked in with: shyness, anger, self-centered fear. When I feel lonely, instead of waiting to be rescued, I introduce myself to the person next to me. I sit as close to the front of the room as possible, focus on listening to the speaker, and thank him or her at the break. I put my hand up (high, as if I meant it!) and, if called on, let the group know something about me. If I don’t get called on, I refrain from resentment and plan to keep coming and attempting to share. We can trust that, over time, if we’re willing to reach out to others, people will begin to know us.

Today, I do not blame others for my feelings. I take one step toward sharing myself with others. I let go of needing instant results.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In AA we are truly only concerned with the internal and not the external qualities of the man. What you wear or fail to wear in the matter of clothes is of no consequence. If you are clean inside the outside eventually cleanses itself.

Evening gowns and tuxedos are all right for formal affairs but a well dressed heart and mind is for everyday wear and is a greater adornment than silks and jewels.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) If you want to know God’s will, spend time with Him.

2) FEAR: Failure Expected And Received

3) Nothing is by accident.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Victims of Addiction

O blessed Lord, You ministered to all who came to You.
Look with compassion upon all who through addiction have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy; remove from them the fears that beset them; strengthen them in the work of their recovery; and to those who care for them, give patient understanding and persevering love.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE GOLDEN KEY

Study and research are well in their own time and place, but no amount of either will get you out of concrete difficulty. Nothing but practical work in your own consciousness will do that.

Scientific prayer is the Golden key to harmony and happiness. You need take no one’s word for it and you should not. Simply try it for yourself and see.

Whoever you are, wherever you may be, the Golden Key to harmony is in your hand now. This is because it is God who works, and not you, and so your particular limitations or weaknesses are of no account in the process. You are only the channel through which the divine action takes place and your part is first to get yourself out of the way.

The actual method of working is simplicity itself. All that you have to do is this: Stop thinking about the difficulty, whatever it is, and think about God instead. This is the complete rule and if only you will do this, the trouble, whatever it is, will presently disappear. It may be big or little, it may concern health, finance, a lawsuit, a quarrel, an accident, or anything else conceivable; but whatever it is, just stop thinking about it and think of God instead- that is all you have to do. The thing could not be simpler, could it? And yet it never fails to work when given a fair trial.

. . . with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Shoes

Live as if your life depends on it.

~ Werner Erhard ~

The Hawaiian people practice the Eastern custom of removing their shoes before entering a home. At a party I attended, a tai chi student told me, “My master said that you can always tell the level of a person’s consciousness by the way they leave their shoes at the door.” When I left the party, I surveyed the long line of shoes outside the door. Most of them were lined up neatly next to one another. Then there were mine, criss-crossed and strewn out of line. Oops!

Heaven is gained or lost not just by dramatic deeds, but by the little acts of daily living. A Zen maxim states: “If you can serve a cup of tea correctly, you can do anything,” meaning that we can use any mundane act as a meditation to create harmony and beauty. The Japanese have an elaborate ancient tea ceremony in which the server must be very present and conscious of every minute act that comprises the ritual.

I heard a talk by a man who knew Suzuki Roshi, a master who popularized Zen in the West. “Everything Roshi did was a meditation,” the man recounted. “Once I watched him eat an apple. By the time he had gotten to the core, the apple was clean and sculpted. All sides were perfectly balanced, and there was no waste. It was a piece of art. ”

We can make our life a work of art by paying attention to the details of daily living. Let everything be a dance in which we create poise and grace. It’s the highest game there is.

I pray to remain conscious throughout my day and bring poetic mastery to all I do.

I use my life to remember and glorify the presence of Spirit.