Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - January

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January 20

Step by Step

“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” – Step Eight

Today, a step not to be taken before the Seventh in which we asked our Higher Power to remove our defects of character. Without removal of those defects, common among them anger, resentment and a sense that our actions against anyone are justified, our list and willingness to make amends might be prejudiced, dishonest. The two requirements of this step are a list of ALL people we’ve harmed and a willingness to atone to each individually. It does not and cannot guarantee that our amends will be accepted by every person. And too many of us, taking this step for the first time, learn later that we have omitted from our list of injured parties a very important person – OURSELVES. Today, I ask for humility and strength in naming all those I have hurt and for the willingness to make atonement – to myself as well. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CHANGE

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.

~ Joan Baez ~

Our life in recovery brings us a new attitude toward change. We remember the heartbreaking battles we fought as we resisted each new opportunity to change. We held on to old habit patterns even if they produced great pain in our lives. Somehow we found what we thought was a safe place in our addiction and our hopeless condition.

Our recovery has opened our eyes to a new world. We know deep in our hearts that our Higher Power wants only good things for us. We understand that change is to be welcomed like each new season. Our Program teaches us that the unknown is not to be cursed, that God is revealed to us at such times. We come to trust our recovery.

I know that times of trouble will be followed by times of calm. I now welcome the changes that come into my life as new opportunities.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Half this game is ninety percent mental.

~ Yogi Berra ~

A very large part of any addiction is made up of all the thinking and behavior patterns that go with it. Many addictions don’t involve alcohol or chemicals at all, just the thoughts and feelings of certain behaviors. Codependency is all about unhealthy thinking. Removing addictive substances is just the start of a long process of changing ourselves mentally.

This mental transformation is the real recovery. It begins as soon as we enter this program, and we feel the rewards very quickly. We are set on a lifelong process of growth that is “ninety percent mental”: learning to know our feelings and express them well, relating to other people, trusting others and a Higher Power, and developing healthy attitudes.

Today I will be aware of my mental recovery and notice how much I have already gained.
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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The self is a calm stable center surrounded by a continuous changing sea. Merge with yourself and be ready for any emergent sea.

~ Coretta Scott King ~

Wise ones tell us to be true to ourselves. Being true to ourselves means daring to disagree with a loved one, even when we know it might cause painful tension. It means refusing to go along with the group’s plans if our values are being ignored. It means standing alone, if necessary, in our family of origin if their expectations of us no longer nurture our growth.

With the help of the Fourth and Tenth Steps, we are learning who we are. We have recognized our shortcomings, and we have defined the assets that make our lives productive and enviable. Each day we are getting closer to knowing more completely the “inner woman” who is calm and centered. She is unruffled by the activity around her. She is quiet and accepting of the circumstances that have called to her. She is our guide, if we want one. She is our protector, if we need one. She is our voice when we become ready to let her speak.

I can be calm and centered today if situations get tense. My “inner self’ will take my hand and give me the words I need.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am responsible for my recovery

Some days I want to blame my psychiatric illness on my addiction. Some days I want to blame my addiction on my psychiatric illness. Or I could blame them both on my genes or my parents. In short, I don’t want to face these problems. (Who would?)

What I am learning, however, is that although I am not to blame for having a dual disorder (each illness is a no-fault illness), I am responsible for my recovery. No one can take these problems away. They are, indeed, mine. And as much as I wish it weren’t so, I am the one who must deal with them (with lots of support).

With the help of my doctor, therapist, or sponsor (or all three), I will develop a formal recovery plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

All things pass…
Patience attains all that it strives for.

~ St. Teresa of Avila ~

Some days, it seems like our struggles will never end. The pain, the loss, the heartaches, the failures — we can recount them all. Where is the strength to go on?

What if we began our day by acknowledging that all things pass? That given time, effort, and patience, we can accept or accomplish most anything? But patience does not mean complacency. On the contrary, each day in recovery requires a new attitude, a new outlook that in time generates its own positive energy for growth and change.

We need strength and patience not only in the difficult moments of our new sobriety, but in the easier ones — the days of comfort when things seem to be going almost too well.

Soon, we can look back across the months and see growth. As the skills of the dancer or the carpenter increase with time and patience, so do our skills in recovery. As we grow in recovery, becoming ever more patient, we become ever more in tune with our Higher Power and the promise of a new life.

Today grant me the patience to live in the moment. Help me be willing to believe that all things pass and I can live better in sobriety.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The ideal day never comes. Today is ideal for him who makes it so.

~ Horatio Dresser ~

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Focusing on your day-to-day life with this philosophy in mind helps keep your mind from wandering ahead to tomorrow, or lagging behind to yesterday. Your mind stays in the present, when you can do the most good for yourself and for others.

In the present moment, you can only do things one step at a time. Someone who has been overweight and embarks on a diet sheds pounds one at a time. An author writes a book one word, and one page, at a time. A chef prepares an elegant meal one dish at a time. Someone who is in recovery does not shed the effects of addiction in an instant, but gets better one minute, one hour, and one day at a time.

Be mindful of the old saying that a journey of a thou-sand miles starts with a single step. Fully experience each moment that lies ahead today by choosing to take small steps and to savor each precious moment.

Whenever I feel like I am getting ahead of myself, I will use the slogans “One day at a time” and “Live for today” to keep my mind focused on the present.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I came to understand that it was all right to do things for people as long as I did it for the sake of doing it . . . the value being more in the act than in the result.

~ Joanna Field ~

We’ve all heard the sentiment that it is better to give than to receive. Yet we may find it difficult to give to others, whether that giving involves an actual gift or an act of giving of ourselves: caring for someone who is ill, running an errand for someone, giving a back-rub, or extending an invitation to someone who is alone.

We may feel afraid to do for others without any expectations of receiving something in return. To give unselfishly exposes our feelings and shows we care. Yet if we can look beyond our fears to the selflessness of our giving actions, there is a great reward: knowing we had the courage to risk giving to someone.

The risks we take in giving to others are lessons for ourselves as well as for those whose lives we touch. The gift of giving opens doors to the homes of our souls.

Did I take time today to give to others? Can I risk giving to someone close to me?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding blame

It is not uncommon to hear in group, “Why do these things always happen to me?” If these things are always happening to us, the obvious answer is that we somehow bring them on ourselves. We are largely unconscious of what we’re doing (wrong) until, slowly, eventually, we manage to dig ourselves out from the results. (It seems incredible that we actually seek to be hurt, but in a way many of us do so, with regularity.)

But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don’t move us along in our program.

Am I still blaming others?

Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.

I will take greater responsibility for myself today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

For sometimes, were the truth confess’d,
You’re thankful for a little rest.

~ DANTE GABRIEL ROSSETTI ~

Newcomer

I can’t stop thinking about the mess I’ve made of my life. I rush around all day trying to get things done, then I run to a meeting, grab some cookies and coffee, and try to listen. I feel impatient and annoyed at what people are saying. Sometimes I even fall asleep at the meeting. I leave wondering if it’s worth it.

Sponsor

Mood swings are a signal that something needs taking care of. The slogan “HALT (Don’t get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired)” is a reminder to pay attention to basics. We have bodies that need regular food and rest. When I deprive myself of a meal, I get cranky and depressed. Being overtired is a mood changer for me, too. When I try to revive myself with coffee and sugary snacks at night, I may have trouble sleeping afterward. My spirit has needs, too, that I’m learning to recognize and nourish. For a long time, I was used to masking my anger and loneliness with addictive substances. To change this habit, I allow recovering people into my life. Sometimes speaking to just one other person can break the cycle of isolation that addiction thrives on. But even if we do everything perfectly, we may still fall asleep in a meeting sometimes. We needn’t worry; even if we don’t catch every word, a meeting is a safe place to be.

Today, I respect the basic needs of my body and spirit. I nurture my recovering self with food, rest, and conversation with others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Remember just a short while back, when we took the miracles of the Bible with the proverbial grain of salt? They were to our way of thinking only parables, told in order to impress certain moral truths, or else they were the understandable inaccuracies of uneducated, highly superstitious people of those unenlightened days. We admitted the purpose of those stories was good but as for believing them—well, they were contrary to known scientific fact.

You who have been in AA only a short time, how many miracles contrary to scientific facts do you see about you? The halls of every AA meeting are filled with them. Miracles are not only possible—they are commonplace.

Like the philosophers of old, we are beginning to believe anything so long as it is incredible. We have seen enough of God to believe anything of Him.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) When you dance with a gorilla, it’s the gorilla who decides when to stop.

2) Cooperate with Grace

3) Nothing Happens in God’s World By Mistake

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

God’s Answer

I asked You, God, for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for help that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need for You.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
No, dear Lord, I’ve gotten nothing that I asked for;
But everything I had hoped for.
Despite myself, my prayers were answered;
And I am among those most richly blessed.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

Work by rehearsing everything that you know about God. God is Wisdom, Truth, inconceivable Love. God is present everywhere; has infinite power; knows everything. It matters not how well you may think you understand these things; go over them repeatedly.

The rule is to think about God, and if you are thinking about your difficulty you are not thinking about God. To be continually glancing over your shoulder in order to see how matters are progressing is fatal, because that is thinking of the trouble, and you must think of God, and nothing else. Your object is to drive the thought of the difficulty right out of your consciousness, for a few moments at least, substituting for it the thought of God. If you can become so absorbed in this consideration of the spiritual world that you really forget for a while all about the trouble concerning which you began to pray, you will presently find that your trouble falls into new perspective, new relationships, so that it is no longer a difficulty.

. . . thou has made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth, and all things that are therein, the seas, and all that is therein, and thou preservest them all . . . (Nehemiah 9:6).

Doth not he see my ways, and count all my steps? (Job 31:4).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Rethinking Hell

Get off the cross—somebody needs the wood.

~ Dolly Parton in Straight Talk ~

In a Time magazine interview, evangelist Billy Graham admitted he was rethinking hell. “Hell may not be an eternal dispensation,” Rev. Graham noted. “It may just be a sense of separation from God.”

The word hell is an old English real estate term meaning “border” or “fence.” If you wanted to keep a cow or pig in captivity, you would “hell” the critter in a stockade. Then the animal is “helled,” or, in its derivative form, “held” in. While many religions present hell as an eternal dispensation, it is not. Hell is a temporary experience that we undergo when we let our heart be ruled by fear. We have all gone through hell in our lives and have come out on the other side. (It is said that religion is for people who are afraid of hell, and spirituality is for those who have already been there.)

There is a purpose for hell, and it has nothing to do with guilt or punishment. Hell is a wake-up call, a corrective device. If you begin to stray from your nature as a loving being, you will have a hellish experience to put you back on track. The only value of hell is educational. Once the lesson is complete, you are done with it, and you can get on with enjoying living in paradise, where you truly belong.

To fear hell is to be in it already, for love is heaven and fear is hell. To punish yourself is to put yourself in hell for no reason. To love yourself and everyone and everything in your life is to give yourself heaven right now and ensure your place there for eternity.

Help me to live in heaven now. Help me to find innocence and forgiveness for myself and all persons and things.

I claim my right to live in peace now. I enter heaven by living with an open heart.