Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - January

[bluidkiti]

January 21

Step by Step

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” – Step Nine

Today, this, the Ninth Step, may be second to the Fourth in the courage, strength, honesty and humility required to carry it out. Each of us, in our drinking days, inflicted some injury on someone else, and the Ninth directs us to apologize and make amends to them. Why? Responsibility and consequences. The rare exception to extending an amend is if doing so would inflict hurt on anyone else, for example, someone who isn’t aware that they were wronged and would suffer if the wrong is admitted. Doing so is not fully altruistic, though. In giving voice and accepting responsibility and consequences of our misconduct, we start the process of reconciliation. But not everyone can be expected to accept our amends on our word. If the injured party has heard it before or if the injury cuts too deep, we must be prepared for rejection. Then, our greatest amend may well be to give truth to our voice by staying sober. Today, my sincerest amend to anyone I have hurt will be my sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HONESTY

Honesty’s the best policy.

~ Cervantes ~

How grateful we became when we moved out from the shadows of our past. Our Program asked us to be honest. We found that truth shone a bright light on our road to recovery. We could see all the little ways we had shaded the truth to serve our own ends. We could also see the awful pain this truth-twisting had caused us. We discovered there really was no such thing as a half- truth. There is either the truth or a lie.

Honesty is the bedrock of a life of recovery. Without honesty we lose our contact with our Higher Power. Without our Higher Power we lose our shield from our addiction. Without our shield we are hopelessly vulnerable to relapse. We are asked to be honest in all our affairs. This means we are careful to think before we speak and to guard against exaggeration.

At the conclusion of each day, I review my actions and ask myself if I have been honest in all I have said and done. Honesty in recovery takes practice, so I practice as if my life depends on it. It does.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Where there is great love, there are always wishes.

~ Willa Cather ~

We can always think of ways to improve our intimate partnership, but usually our best ideas are for changes in our partner. We wish we had a more generous attitude from our partner; we wish we had a more agreeable partner—someone who was more fun or who would lose weight—and we want more sexual pleasure. But these ideas are the easy ones to think of. The harder and more effective ideas are those that call for changes in ourselves.

We enter into a life partnership to enjoy the relationship. We take pleasure in each other’s lives and we are on the same team. But we don’t walk in the same footsteps because we all need to stand on our own as adults. Intimacy is not the merging of personalities but the bridge between separate people. Once we have our adult separateness, we can be more intimate, more loving, and more generous with each other.

Today I will pay more attention to the ways I can be a better partner.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We do not have to get caught in the middle of other people’s issues.

~ Melody Beattie ~

Learning to respect boundaries, our own and other people’s, eliminates much of the stress that hinders relationships. Accepting the behavior and the opinions of our friends as legitimate for them allows our relationships to teach us tolerance and patience and love. Our journey on this planet is not about “fixing” or controlling others, but about loving them wholly, just as we want to be loved.

We need other people. Our humanity is enhanced by our mutual experiences. But we also need to let others learn from their mistakes and their own experiences, rather than to help them avoid what they need for their growth. We hate to see our friends in pain. Our compassion is triggered when trouble trips them. But their journey must be inviolate. We’ll only prolong their struggle by intervening where we aren’t needed.

It’s hard to back away when a friend is in trouble. But telling her I love and support her may give her the strength she needs.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can handle the panicky feelings

I know the frightening feeling, I know instantly that something’s wrong. Suddenly I feel hot, dizzy, then chilled. My heart beats fast and hard and I can’t catch my breath. I’m caught off guard and can hardly move. I think I’m going to die—

Funny thing. I don’t die. The worst has never happened. Every time I’ve had a panic attack, I’ve managed to catch my breath and get to a place of safety. No passing out, no heart attack. It’s hard for me to believe sometimes, but my higher power is taking care of me. I continue to muddle through and I am grateful.

I will think up a brief prayer or affirmation to help me feel safe when I feel panicky.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Sobriety is a big gift box with a hundred little packages inside to unwrap.

~ Oscar Morris ~

Sobriety is its own reward and then some. Sobriety is a condition of openness and receptivity to the treasure of life. It is the ability to view the world through gentler glasses and hear our fellows with kinder ears. It is the ability to see things as they really are, instead of how we’d like them to be. It is a condition of honesty and willingness to be true to ourselves and others.

On this day we can look out the window when we get up in the morning. No matter what we see — another building, a yard, even an airshaft — it can remind us that we’re not the same people we used to be. We can look at this world without fear. It won’t bite back anymore.

Sobriety is seeing the world with open eyes. It is like seeing a daffodil as though for the first time. It is the gift of learning how to view the world as a friendly and loving place to be. Sobriety is crying without shame and laughing with abandon. It is a gift that wakes us up with hope and puts us to sleep with peace.

Today let me cherish my gift of sobriety and not take it for granted.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

… the tortoise is good at nurturing energy, so it can sur-vive a century without food.

~ Chinese proverb ~

The ancient Chinese taught that it was wise to emulate the tortoise because it knew when to withdraw into itself to remain safe and restore its energy. Like the tortoise, you can choose to withdraw from energy drains. Getting caught up in other people’s problems, spending time with negative people, or finding yourself in situations that are far too dramatic can disrupt your serenity. You may think you can help resolve a problem or shift someone’s negative outlook to a more positive one, yet get caught up in a whirlpool of drama or negativity.

Many of the people you will meet will be wonderful sources of positive energy, inspiration, hope, and serenity. Others will be Gloomy Guses, Angry Andys, and Negative Nancys. Some meetings you attend may be dominated by people who spend more time complaining than by working the program.

Whenever you find yourself around negative people or situations, take a step back. Cultivating a sense of inner peace will help you keep your focus on staying clean and sober.

Today I will cultivate a sense of inner peace. I will choose to be around people who inspire me and will attend meetings that keep my focus on my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I am bigger than anything that can happen to me. All these things, sorrow, misfortune, and suffering are outside my door. I am in the house and I have the key.

~ Charles Fletcher Lummis ~

So many things seem to loom over us. There’s our addiction to alcohol or other drugs, food, or people. There are our fears of expressing love, of feeling, of being alone, of being abandoned, of being rejected, of failing. There are the miseries of childhood, unhappy relationships, a failed marriage, or death. Sometimes there’s even the world in general—all people, places, and things. Some days just about everything seems ready to swallow us up.

Yet nothing has absolute power over us if we have a strong belief in ourselves and a Higher Power. Our Higher Power strengthens us and helps us stay in good condition.

The negative conditions we see are not lurking in the shadows, ready to spring upon us at any moment. There are not people “out to get us,” nor traps set to foil our goals. We are secure because of the faith we have in our Higher Power.

The only thing in this life bigger than me is my Higher Power. Tonight I can feel safe and secure no matter where I am.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Keeping our motives honest

Motives are important in dealing with other people. If we’re frank with someone and that person gets upset, we might think he or she just can’t handle our directness, our honesty. But “honesty” without love is more like brutal frankness. If we want to be confrontational, we have to put up with the consequences.

But what is the real reason for being confrontational (“honest”), for pointing out others’ flaws? Are we perhaps afraid that our own flaws will be discovered? Are we protecting ourselves by focusing attention on others?

Are my motives always honest?

Higher Power, help me see where my motives are selfish or mean or petty, so that I stay honest in my program.

Today I will examine my motives concerning

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Get rid of the poisons.

~ M. F. K. FISHER ~

Newcomer

I’m trying to take your advice not to get too hungry angry, lonely, or tired, but sleep is still a problem for me. When I get into bed, my mind starts racing. I toss and turn; it’s as if I’m being flooded with adrenaline. Then I’ll pass out for a while, and the dreams I have are horrible—they’re like hallucinations. When I get up, I feel exhausted.

Sponsor

In the first few weeks of recovery, especially from physical addictions—alcohol, food, drugs, cigarettes—sleep disturbances are likely to occur. Our bodies are still undergoing a process of detoxification and rebalancing. When we feel as if we’re being flooded with adrenaline, that’s probably exactly what’s happening. Night and day may be turned around. Sleep problems vary from person to person, depending on former addictive patterns. Some may sleep a lot, with dreams that feel hallucinatory; others may feel as if they’ve been lying awake for days. When we used our addictive substance or behavior, we were numbing ourselves so that we wouldn’t have to feel certain things. Those feelings don’t go away just because we’ve entered recovery.

The extremes you’re experiencing will level off as recovery continues. Bodies have a natural tendency to heal. One morning, you will wake up refreshed, surprised to realize that you’ve had a night’s rest. You can help the process along by avoiding caffeine or heavy eating at night, by drinking plenty of water, and by beginning to add some form of gentle exercise to your day. A walk or some gentle yoga or stretching can do more than you’d think to help your body detoxify and regain hormonal balance.

Today, I cooperate with the natural process that is healing my body and spirit.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Next to the God-inspired Program itself, we should be most thankful to our founders that they have resisted the pressure of various “movements” to ally themselves to us.

Reform movements are often only against something but AA is always FOR something. We do not resist evil but strive to overcome evil with good. Their forces are negative; ours positive.

Their machines stand idle while they strive to eliminate friction; ours run on power sufficient to overcome the friction, and the source of our power is infinite.

They say everything bad should be eliminated; we say everything bad is an opportunity, sent to us from God, that we may transform it to Good.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) It’s a selfish program.

2) If you want to know what’s in your heart, listen to your mouth.

3) FEAR: False Expectations Actually Realized

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Every Morning

Every morning I will rest my arms awhile upon the windowsill of heaven, gaze upon my Higher Power, and with that vision in my heart turn strong to meet my day.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SHARING THE KEY

In order to “Golden Key” a troublesome person or difficult situation, think, “Now I’m going to Golden Key John, or Mary, or that threatened danger”; then lift John or Mary or the danger into the presence of God and think only of God.

There after the person is certain to be in some better, wiser, and more spiritual person. A pending lawsuit or other difficulty will probably fade out without coming to a crisis, justice being done to all parties concerned.

. . . O Lord God, thou art that God, and thy words be true, and thou hast promised this goodness unto thy servant (2 Samuel 7:28).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I’m Off to Be the Wizard

If you do not get it from yourself, where will you go for it?

~ Buddha ~

In the film Willow, a young man in medieval times seeks to be-come an apprentice to the village shaman. Along with two other hopefuls, Willow is tested before an assembled crowd. “If you can answer this question correctly,” the wizard informs the three, “I will teach you the ancient magic.” The elder extends his hand and asks, “In which finger does the power lie?” Each of the first two applicants chooses a finger, and to the groans of the crowd, the wizard shakes his head. Finally, Willow makes his choice and he, too, is rejected.

Willow goes off to live a life of adventure and romance; he joins an army, weathers a war, and grows through many fascinating encounters. After a long time, Willow returns to the village, where the wizard asks him, “What did you want to answer when I gave you the test?”

“I wanted to say, The power lies in my own hand.’”

“That was the correct answer,” the wizard affirms. “Why did you not say it?”

“I guess I just didn’t believe in myself enough,” Willow admits.

The illusion of the world is that other people have the power to make us into something we are not. The truth is that we are already everything, and no one outside of ourselves has the power to add to, or diminish, our wholeness. In spite of this fundamental reality, many of us have spent a great deal of time chasing illusions that the power rests somewhere other than in our own hearts and minds.

Beware of any individuals, organizations, or religions that assert that they have the power to save you or crucify you. People may have worldly power, but that is not the same as spiritual power. In the long run, only spiritual power has any meaning or worth—and you have all of it.

Help me remember that the God I seek lives within me, as me.

I am the way, the truth, and the life.