Sharing and Caring

[MajestyJo]

Was thinking tonight how often we take things at face value, or we say, "that is the other fellowship," or "I didn't do that" or "I'm not as bad as they are."

We tend to forget that we have a disease. It isn't the substance, the problem is me, myself and I. It isn't about the other person. It isn't about what they did, it is about taking responsibility for ourselves and our own decisions.

It is about the decisions we made to get us to where we are in today. I made the decision to stay in a seven year abusive marriage. I made the decision to take my husband back when I found he had been with other women. I made the decision to go back to my job even though my employer bounced my pay check 3 times.

I couldn't be an alcoholic because I didn't like beer. I didn't drink red wine because it gave me a head ache, I only drank white. I think I thought it made me a lady, even though I was raised as one and spent most of my life trying to prove I wasn't one, and resented the lady when she came out.

I wouldn't look at something, for example eating disorder (I am not an anorexic or bulimic), but the reality is, I do have an eating disorder, it is about the way I think about food. I am a codependent and an adult children of an alcoholic. I am an adult child of an addict. I am an alcoholic and I was addicted to prescription drugs, but I have 3-333 reasons to go to Al-Anon since I have come online.

I had to pray and ask my God to help me with my addiction to my computer, to building my web sites, to my addiction to playing Bejewelled, Bejewelled2, and Bejewelled3.

In order to find sobriety, I had to stay clean. For me, that meant quitting smoking, because I wanted to be a clean clear channel to carry the message of recovery. It took me 7 years in recovery to reach this decision. I did not want to quit and had to pray for the willingness to be willing to quit and went to NA meetings while I was quitting and picked up key tags. I quit the spiritual way, and instead of gaining 20-30 lbs., I lost 3 lbs.

Instead of skimming the surface, like here at the site. I forget to click on the heading to see what is posted, instead of just looking the last post made. There is so much unseen under the surface. Every once in a while, I go back to old posts and I am blessed. It is always good to remember that the message of recovery never grows old, it was good 70 years ago, and still works today.

The program works if you work for it. Don't take what you want and leave the rest. Embrace it all, and even if you don't feel you need it all, you may find someone who does, and you can pay it forward.

Don't use no matter what. With one hand in the hand of a newcomer and the other hand in the hand of your Higher Power, you don't have any hands left to pick up.

May you choose to STAY, do not play Russian Roulette with your life.