Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - February

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February 2

Step by Step

Today, dependency is not confined to alcohol addiction CAN impact my relationships with other people. For years, I depended on alcohol to drown feelings I did not want or to “create” feelings I wanted and to shape my attitude and perspective. Is it no wonder that I depended on alcohol to define – in part – my relationships with other people? Honesty says yes! And my expectations in those relationships were either to dominate THEM, or to be so emotionally clinging and dependent on them that MY unrealistic expectations drove them away. Now, in sobriety, I have to admit that quitting drinking is not enough, that I must also be sober in my relationships and find the compromise between being the dominant one – and the needy one. Today, I begin the search for the way to be a contributor to healthy relationships. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

RELATIONSHIPS

Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the right to do the same.

~ Voltaire ~

One of the gifts of recovery is realizing that we can walk away from our prison cells as free people. We are no longer dependent on any other person, place, or thing for our happiness and well-being. The jail of our own making has dissolved. We discover a Power that can provide for every imaginable need.

We realize that the war is over and we have won. We have finally found a way out of our addictions. Morning has broken from our dark night. We listen to other people share their experiences in recovery and realize they are telling our story. Each time we clasp hands, we sense the power of the Fellowship running through us. Our sponsors and fellow members keep our eyes focused on recovery.

I am learning to listen enough to hear the truth and speak enough to tell the truth. I am learning not to become overly dependent on others and to avoid having anyone become too dependent on me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Just by speaking I can break out of my self-made prison.

~ June Singer ~

For many of us guys, words don’t come easily. Maybe we have strong feelings, strong thoughts, and important things on our mind, but they may not translate easily into spoken words. Even as toddlers, little boys don’t generally start to speak as early as little girls do. But that is no excuse for not working at it. Some of the most difficult challenges produce the most creative responses.

Something magical happens when the unspoken is finally spoken. A little of our private world is finally known by another human being. Even more than that, we finally know more clearly what is on our minds when we put words to it and hear ourselves say it. We may not even know that we are in a self-made prison of silence until we start to break out of it. Talking—finding words to say what is on our mind—is a big part of our healing process.

Today I will talk to someone about a feeling, a memory, or an unanswered question.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My Higher Power takes many forms. One of the most comforting is the presence of the Great Mother, the magnificent Goddess who has a personal interest in guiding my life.

~ Rita Casey ~

One of the first things we learn in this recovery program is that we have a Higher Power. Next we learn that we can define our God according to our own needs. As we change and get more comfortable in our recovery, our definition of God may change too. However, wisdom is our reward for believing, and any gender or form of Higher Power will do.

Having a Higher Power’s loving guidance is perhaps the most blessed of all the rewards of this program. Never do we need to feel alone. Decisions will be easier to make when we remember to ask our Higher Power for guidance.

Knowing that we have a loving Higher Power who truly cares about our safety and well-being makes every moment of our lives more peaceful and secure. We will be on the right path if we look for the guidance that we’ve been promised.

I may not understand why I have received God’s grace, but my sobriety is a sure sign that I have. I will let her guide me all day long.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I will be taken care of

I used to wonder if anyone was listening to my prayers for help with my illnesses—the mood swings and the drugs. I felt alone and out of control. I felt no one cared and eventually wondered if I was worth caring about.

And yet looking back at that time—not so long ago—I wonder if perhaps I was the one who lost faith, who stopped caring about myself. Because once I chose recovery, once I chose recovery for myself, I began to experience the care and love of many people—in treatment, in the clinic, and in my recovery groups. These days I know that I am worthy, I believe my prayers are being heard, and I trust that I will be taken care of.

I will take five minutes today to remember the people who have been helping me in my recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The thought is not the same as the act.

~ Joan Ebbitt ~

We can’t just flip a switch and turn off our thoughts. Thoughts of drugs, alcohol, food, and sex may still trouble us in recovery. We may even be tempted into a relapse by telling ourselves, “Well, the thought is there, so a slip is coming; might as well get it over with.”

But in recovery we do not have to act on every thought. We must remind ourselves that the thought and the action are separate. Then we can allow unhealthy thoughts to pass us by.

We can let go of unhealthy thoughts by talking with our sponsor, sharing our thoughts at a meeting, reading Twelve Step literature, praying, or meditating. When the urge to return to addiction is powerful, we can get through difficult times by telling ourselves, “This too shall pass.”

Thoughts end. We can choose neither to act on them nor to judge ourselves for their content. We can see them as information and then move on, strengthened by our recovery program.

Today help me remember that thoughts of relapse will pass. Give me strength to control my actions until the thoughts pass.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Problems, unfortunately, can be addicting. Like it or not, we take a certain amount of pride in the very problems that distress us.

~ Boise Ristad ~

Imagine you have been asked to stand in a frigidly cold room. Chances are you would take one step into the room and then run right out. Now imagine you are placed in a room that offers a comfortable temperature. You are told that the temperature will gradually drop until it reaches subfreezing. You stay in the room, and may even remain long after you begin shivering or even after the room be-comes unbearable.

The difference between the two examples is that in one you are given no chance to adjust. The same is true for living with pain and suffering. For as long as you believe that your problems are infinite and any solutions elusive or nonexistent, you may become increasingly anesthetized to the difficulties in your life. You may feel far more comfortable holding onto feelings of doom, disappointment, and confusion than striving to find ways to decrease or eliminate your problems.

Recovery gives you a choice: stay in a life in which you lace constant problems, or surrender to a life in which you actively explore different ways of thinking and acting.

I free myself from pain by seeking solutions to any problems I may face.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it—and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again . . . but also, she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

~ Mark Twain ~

“Last night I asked for help, but the person couldn’t give it to me. Tonight I’m not going to ask because I’ll be refused.” Poor us! One person has rejected us, so now we’ve got the whole world rejecting us. We believe if one person lets us down, everyone else will too.

Such thinking, as negative as it is, can provide safety. If we believe we can’t trust anymore, then we won’t. But there won’t be any growth in this kind of safety. By condemning everyone, we won’t see those who want to help.

To find help we may have to ask several people. If we get turned away by a few people, we shouldn’t give up hope. There are many flowers in the field of life, but to pick the best, we need to look at them all.

If I get rejected it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or no one can be trusted. It means I need to take another risk or maybe two.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Learning patience

Many of us spent a long time getting sick, and we can’t expect to recover overnight. We have to want to get well, and we must be patient. If we lose control through lack of patience, we may lose all that we’ve gained.

Patience is a slowly developing virtue. It requires that we watch ourselves each day and use prayer in trying times. (Being selfish, however, retards our progress.)

Am I developing patience?

Higher Power, help me learn patience in living the life set before me.

I will practice patience today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Argue not concerning God.

~ WALT WHITMAN ~

Newcomer

It’s obvious from what I hear people saying in meetings that God is a pretty important part of Twelve Step programs. What if I don’t believe in God or a Higher Power?

Sponsor

We don’t need religion in order to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using our preferred addictive substance or behavior. To recover, we have to put down what we’re addicted to, and we have to come to meetings. Not easy, perhaps, but simple and clear.

Whether or not we believe in God, most of us recognize that we don’t live entirely independently. The phrase “a Power greater than ourselves,” from Step Two, is a reminder to me that I don’t run the universe. Whatever I believe about God’s existence, I have to accept that I myself am not God—if I’m going to recover. I can’t control my addiction on my own. Willpower stopped working for me some time ago. I owe this newfound willingness to recover to someone or something that isn’t my intellect or will.

Those who reject traditional concepts of God can still point to something inside—what some call their “better self,” their “sense of right and wrong,” their “higher self,” or their “spirit”—that got them here. The desire for wholeness has somehow proved stronger than the impulse toward self-destruction.

Today, I accept that I’m not all-powerful.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Probably no class of people has been brought into deep and turbulent waters of life to the extent of us alcoholics. Thousands of us were saved by a merciful God and emerged from our ordeal cleaner and stronger. That we were spared can be attributed only to the Grace of God.

There is nothing haphazard about God’s actions. He led us into deep water for a purpose; He extracted us for a purpose. Be sure you fulfill that purpose.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) On final judgment day, do you want what you deserve or do you want a forgiving God?

2) FINE: Fearful, Insecure, Negative, Egotistical

3) Boundaries create freedom.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Lord, I’m Hurting

Yes, Lord, I hurt.
The pain is deep,
And I feel the mountains
Are so steep. I cannot seem to stand.
Please, dear Lord, Take my hand.
I cannot seem to find my way.
For me the sun
Is not shining today.
I know You’re there;
I’ve felt Your presence near
But now, my Lord,
My heart is gripped with fear.
Lord, help the sun to shine
And to know That You are mine.
Heal this pain I feel; Make Your presence
Very real.
Today, Lord, I give You all.
Help me, dear Lord,
Not to fall.
And if I fall,
Hold me tight,
So I can feel
Your strength and might.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OUR FATHER

Now that this clause that fixes the nature of God, at the same time fixes the nature of man. It is a cosmic law that like begets like. It is not possible that a rosebush should produce lilies, or that a cow should give birth to a colt. The offspring must be of the same character as the parent; and so, since God is divine Spirit, man must essentially be divine Spirit too, whatever appearances may say to the contrary.

At a single blow this teaching of Jesus swept away 99 percent of all the old theology, with its avenging God, its chosen and favored individuals, its essential hell fire, and other terrible paraphernalia of man’s diseased and terrified imagination, God exist—and the Eternal, All-Powerful, All-Present God is the loving Father of mankind.

If you would meditate upon this fact, until you had some degree of understanding of what it really means, most of your difficulties and physical ailments would disappear, for they are rooted in fear. If only you could realize to some extent that Omnipotent Wisdom is your living, loving Father, most of your fears would go. If you could realize it completely, every negative thing in your life would vanish away. Now you see the object that Jesus had in mind when he first placed this clause first.

… So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him (Genesis 1:27).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I Had No Idea

There is more to heaven and earth than meets the eye.

~ William Shakespeare ~

I heard about a man who lived in Kansas all of his life and had never traveled more than a few hundred miles from his home. When Joseph was 85 years old, he took a trip to Oregon and saw the ocean for the first time. Joseph stood on the rugged, windswept beach for a long time, breathing deeply and contemplating its majesty. Then he walked back to his friend and told him, “I had no idea it would be this beautiful. I had to see it to know it.”

Many of us have lived for a long time in a world much smaller than the one that is available to us. We tread the familiar path, settle into routine relationships, and find security in the known. But to settle for what has been is to miss out on what could be. Imagine that there is an entire unexplored world available to you if you were to reach even a little bit beyond the familiar. If you open your consciousness, the universe will rush to show you what is truly there.

When I first stepped onto the beach in Hawaii, I was moved to tears. The rugged green mountains towered over the azure sea as the warm waters lapped over my bare feet and washed away years of East Coast in–sanity. Everything I beheld spoke of beauty, aliveness, and abundance. I had no idea that such riches existed on the planet. Egotistically, I believed that I had seen most of what there was to see and knew what was available. But I didn’t. What I thought was available was only a small portion of the good that awaited.

There is an entire unseen ocean waiting for you to explore.

Show me the life that is available to me, and let me live it. I am willing to be wrong about what I thought were my limits.

I step out beyond the known to claim the riches of my true potential.