Wisdom For Today - February

[bluidkiti]

February 15

Wisdom for Today
“Made direct amends.” Doing the repair work I needed to do required action on my part. For some of the people I had harmed, I really had no idea even where to begin. Saying I was sorry just would not be enough. I had said that I was sorry a million times. What was required was change. I needed to make a firm commitment not to behave in the ways I had when I was drinking and using drugs. I needed to be different. It was this difference that would potentially repair the damage. I had to be careful though. I could neither assume nor expect that the mending of what I had done would be accepted. Forgiveness and reconciliation are gifts of grace, and there were those whom I had harmed that would not be gracious.

The amends I made were not so much for the other person but for me. I could look at myself and know in my mind and my heart that I had cleaned my side of the street. I could not assume that the other person would be willing to even acknowledge my effort. Fortunately the vast majority of people I knew did accept me again. Forgiveness and reconciliation happened, and new bonds were formed. Perhaps the greatest pay off for me in completing this step was the fact that I no longer was tormented by my past. The Big Book says, “We will not regret the past, nor will we wish to shut the door on it.” I believe this only becomes true in completing this step. Today I can look at the past, but I don’t have to stare at it. Can I make amends without expectations?
Meditations for the Heart
It is truly a gift of recovery to be able to reclaim relationships. Through the process of making amends, my relationships with family and friends improved by leaps and bounds. People that I had hurt, lied to, used and manipulated were able to see a new me and risk trusting me again. But I now know this was only possible because God reclaimed me. I had turned away from God and even run from Him in my addiction; but through the process of recovery, brought about by working the steps, I opened the door to a relationship with a Higher Power. As soon as I did this, God reclaimed me. As soon as I made amends to others and they opened the door to me, I could reclaim these relationships. None of this would have been possible without my Higher Power. Do I recognize the gifts that the program brings?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Sometimes I like to take credit for the changes that have occurred in my life. But I know in my heart that none of this would have been possible without You first reclaiming me. Give me the courage to mend the brokenness I caused in my addiction. Let me not be consumed with expectations and simply accept Your gracious gifts.
Amen.