Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - February

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February 15

Step by Step

Today, carry from yesterday into this current 24 Hours the gratitude for all that has been given by the program and sobriety. I can claim a renewed faith because gratitude, if sincere and unselfish, DOES yield the fruits of humility, awakening and serenity – all that is promised in the program. But in having gratitude rewarded in an expected way, pray that my faith in my Higher Power and the program be strengthened and its power undiminished by time or human follies of greed, selfishness, a demand for more. Today, the gratitude of yesterday has evolved into a faith that, when conveyed without expectation of something in return, when sincere and when humble, can and does yield dividends of unexpected payoffs. Today, my faith has been awakened. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE PROMISES

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.

~ Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous ~

On page 83 of the Big Book, there begins a long paragraph worthy of study. The sentences in that paragraph have been referred to as “The Promises.”

We who are finding spiritual growth should frequently take time to examine the promises we find in working our Program. We always discover that we are working toward a definite purpose for promised rewards.

Just before the listing of the Promises, we read that we will be surprised at the spiritual progress we have made after finishing the Ninth Step. The Ninth Step concerns making direct amends.

We once believed that we needed a certain substance or behaviour in order to avoid loneliness and boredom. The Promises get rid of that idea. We are made aware that “God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.”

After completing the journey through the first Nine Steps, the Promises begin to unfold for me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I imagine that God speaks to me, saying simply, “I kept calling to you, and you did not come.” And I answer quite naturally, “I couldn’t until I knew there was nowhere else to go.”

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

We are willful. We worship individual determination and guts. A man wants to do things in the way that he devises for himself, and it may not occur to him to open himself up to a Higher Power. Yet our Higher Power is always there, calling to us.

There is a paradox in this spiritual lesson: more genuine strength and more options are in our hands when we let go of our willful, controlling attitudes. This is the secret wisdom of a man who has learned from experience. The young, unseasoned man tries to control everything and push on things that he cannot budge. The wiser, more experienced man says, “I see the limits of what is mine to change, and I can let my Higher Power take care of the things I cannot change.”

Today I will notice those concerns that I cannot fix, and I will let them go. Then I will focus on a few areas where I can make a difference. 

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Choices are not irrevocable. . . . They can be remade.

~ Julie Riebe ~

Knowing that we can make choices about every circumstance in our lives fills us with awe at the breadth of our personal power. For decades, perhaps, we felt we had none. Life was bleak and we were at its mercy. How thrilled we are to understand, finally, where our power begins.

We are learning so much from this program. At limes we wonder how we survived for so long on so little understanding. Our condition felt hopeless, and because we took no responsibility for changing our circumstances, nothing changed.

That’s true no more. Every day we intentionally make choices about what’s happening in our lives. Some choices, like changing a job or confronting a friend, are big. Others, like deciding whether to exercise today or tomorrow, are small. Large or small, our choices allow us to decide who we are, und none of our choices are without significance. I hat’s exciting!

I will choose carefully today. If a change of mind is in my best interest, then I can change my mind.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

It will help if I let go

When will this roller coaster ride stop? I work my dual recovery program for my addiction and psychiatric illness and still I have setbacks. I feel stuck. What else can I possibly do to get better? Sometimes I feel helpless. On very bad days, I feel hopeless.

And yet, when I take a deep breath and look back at the first three Steps, my program reminds me (yet again) that I do not control my dual illness. My program reminds me of my higher power who will help me cope with my struggles, who will help me recover, if I allow it. If I allow it, if I turn my will and my life over, I will know what to do to avoid the slips, prevent the setbacks, and regain stability. If I let that power help, I will get better.

I will review Steps One, Two, and Three and pray for courage.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Be honest with the man in the mirror.

We may find it easy to criticize another, to fault in him or her what we despise in ourselves. It takes so little effort to take another’s inventory. Yet, when we turn the magnifying glass on ourselves our vision blurs; we’re blinded by anxiety. For a long time chemicals blurred our vision. We were incapable of honesty and perhaps felt no desire to learn or change anything about ourselves.

Now we are asked to get spiritual, to get honest, to look at ourselves, to focus on the changes we need to make, and to leave others to their own keeping.

We can only change ourselves. Recovery asks that we acknowledge our shortcomings and pray for the courage to change the things we can. More than enough self-work lies ahead; enough to preclude our working on others. It’s important that we be real, that we not strive to be someone else. This is where the serenity to accept ourselves will come from.

Today help me tend my own garden and let others tend theirs.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Wolf and the Crane

A wolf had been eating when a bone became stuck in his throat. Soon, the pain became excruciating. He rushed to a pond, thinking water would loosen the bone. But he could not swallow. Frantic, he looked around and saw a crane watching him. “I would give anything,” he rasped, “if you would remove this bone from my throat. Your neck is long and your beak is strong. Please help me.”

The crane agreed. It lowered its neck and put its long beak into the wolf’s throat, removing the bone. “I would now like the reward you promised,” said the crane.

But the wolf growled. “It is enough that you have placed your head into my strong jaws, and I have spared your life. Be gone with you, or you will be my next dinner.”

The moral of the story: An enemy’s promises were made to be broken.

While making a fearless moral inventory, you may remember when you mistreated others, pushed them aside when they tried to keep you safe, or made promises you did not keep. Your promise today—to live a clean and sober life—can help you to make amends to them.

Today I will make a list of those who helped me and were always there for me and make amends to them.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

People are lonely because they build walk instead of bridges.

~ Joseph Fort Newton ~

Remember building snow forts? After a sticky snowfall we’d build a big snow wall. Then we’d mass- produce snowballs, preparing for battle. The team who built the best snow fort usually won, for their wall provided the best protection.

Are we still playing snow fort when we meet new people or spend time with family? Each of us has a wall we started building in our childhood. Each time we were hurt, we would fortify the wall to offer greater protection. We may not even realize it now, but we may have such strong, high walls in front of us that even the most ardent friends can’t get over them.

We may feel protected behind our wall, but we may also feel lonely. Walls are built to keep people out. To feel less lonely, we need to make a little crawl space to let people in. We don’t have to destroy our walls in one day, but perhaps we can let at least one person in. We will learn, one person at a time, what it feels like to be less protected, and less lonely.

I can make an opening in my wall of protection and let someone get to know me. I will be safe.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Overcoming barriers

When situations seem the darkest, the storm may be about to break up and let the sun shine through. A bit more persistence, a bit more effort, and the emotional turmoil that seemed hopeless may resolve into a process of growth. All battles, whether won or lost, are internal.

God never places impossible barriers in front of us; our barriers are only those we create for ourselves.

Am I still erecting barriers against my own progress?

Higher Power, grant me the strength to carry on my internal struggles.

Today I will work on bringing down barriers by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

No one should have to dance backward all their lives.

~ JILL RUCKELSHAUS ~

Newcomer

When I was active in my addiction, I often felt smart and strong. Now that I’m in recovery, I feel little and weak and depressed. I’m afraid I’m never going to feel like a full human being again.

Sponsor

Many of us have similar fears at the beginning of recovery. Back in the early days of being active, we were convinced that we had the key to living. There were behaviors we engaged in that lent us feelings of power and control. We may look back wistfully at those days when we felt stronger, smarter, more important. We wish we could have those feelings again, without paying the penalty.

But we need to remember the deprivation or panic we felt when we had to do without whatever magic “pill” we depended on to put us together each day. We can’t forget the times when addiction only made bad situations worse. We don’t want to repeat the crash we experienced when the drug or addictive behavior stopped being effective and our self-doubts came back.

Strength, intelligence, and competence don’t, in fact, depend on addictive substances and behaviors. They are ours. They are returning to us over time in recovery, and in much more dependable ways.

Today, my gifts are emerging into the light.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When we were drinking we all had an interest and it was all contained in the shortest word in the English language—I. Our conversations always started with—I need—I want—I said, etc. No wonder people crossed the street when they saw us coming. Our conversations were as obnoxious as our breath.

Take note of the older men on the Program; their conversations are seldom about themselves except ‘as they fit into the other fellow’s problems. It is no accident that they are popular with the group for they never bore you with themselves but instead they talk about your most popular subject—You.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Grateful I’m not dead.

2) You don’t make as many mistakes when you keep your mouth shut.

3) Egoism isn’t necessarily thinking a lot of yourself—just thinking of yourself a lot.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Let Go, Let God

Higher Power, help me to understand:
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To “let go” is not to care for but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to protect, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not to deny but to accept.
To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

DEMONSTRATING FORGIVENESS

And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise (Luke 6:31).

The forgiveness of others is the vestibule of Heaven. You have to get rid of all resentment and condemnation of others, and, not least, of self-condemnation and remorse. You have to forgive yourself, but you cannot forgive yourself sincerely until you have forgiven others first.

Of course, nothing in all the world is easier than to forgive people who have not hurt us very much. But what the Law of Being requires of us is that we forgive the very things that are so hard to forgive that at first it seems impossible to do it at all. But the Lord’s Prayer makes our own escape from guilt and limitation dependent upon just this very thing.

If your prayers are not being answered, search your consciousness and see if there is not some old circumstance about which you are still resentful. Search and see if you are not really holding a grudge against some individual, or some group. If so, then you will probably make your demonstration. If you cannot forgive at present, you will have to wait for your demonstration until you can, and you will have to postpone finishing your recital of the Lord’s Prayer too.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Maybe Better Off

Lust brings excitement. Love brings peace.

~ Harvey Freeman ~

When I was 15 years old, I saw a flashy red electric guitar hanging in a music store window. It was shiny, slickly shaped, and looked like the kind of guitar a rock star would play. I ran home and told my father that I absolutely had to have that guitar. “Do you know how to play it?” he asked.

“No, but I swear I’ll learn, ” I promised.

“Maybe you could take some guitar lessons on a basic model, and then if you still want this one, we can get it then,” he reasonably suggested.

“But Dad,” I argued, “then this guitar might not be there. I really want to get this one now”

My father looked me squarely in the eye and asked me the most compelling question he ever confronted me with. In Yiddish he asked, “Voss brendt ba dir?” which meant, “What’s burning in you? ” Needless to say, I didn’t get the guitar. But my father’s question still haunts me to this day: What’s burning in you?

While passion imbued by Spirit can save our life, passion directed by ego can ruin it. The fear-driven mind will tell us that we must have what we want, and we must have it now. The voice of peace, on the other hand, knows that all good things come to us by right of consciousness, and we do not have to fight, sweat, or rush to receive our good.

Looking back now, I realize it was a blessing that I didn’t get that guitar; the thing was all flash and no quality, and sooner or later I would have discovered I had made a bad deal. I was better off without it. My father’s words, however, have blessed me for a lifetime.

Help me to be patient to receive Your gifts. I pray to focus on what will truly bring me peace.

All quality things come to me at the right time by the hand of a gracious God.