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Old 10-15-2016, 08:29 PM   #166
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An important part of my recovery has been getting active in service. It started simple, setting up the meetings, helping to clear up, but with my physical health not up to full par, the place I liked the most was being on the door and being a greeter.

I was told my a co-sponsor of mine in early recovery, "You are only half a hand shake you know!" and since then, I have always tried to remember to stick out my hand and say, "Hi, my name is..."

Sometimes that hello has all we have to offer. We can't give away what we don't already have. If I am living in chaos and turmoil, then I am not in a position to give away peace and serenity. Who I am in today, is the message I carry. I can't share what I haven't experienced, because then it is coming from the head and not from the heart. Yet this is a program of paradoxes, if the place I am coming from is my head and that is where I am at, that is okay. The longest journey in recovery is from the head to the heart. The ability to feel our true feelings and deal with them.

When I had two years sober, I got involved in work at the local jail and detox center. I also went back to the treatment center I went to at three months sober. I didn't have sobriety, because I just wasn't aware of me and my life. Sobriety means soundness of mind for me, but it also means more. It means be finding myself and being comfortable with me and who I am in today and not having to use outside sources to maintain my life style.

I have had several lapses along my journey where in the moment I know I have used food, work, relationships, television, books, my computer, etc. to escape where I was at in the moment, but thanks to the tools of the program, I am able to become aware and make the change to bring myself back to where God would have me be on this new road of living.

The relapse that would kills me faster than anything would be to pick up a cigarette. It would kills me faster than if I chose to go back to using my pills and picked up a drink. It would not only kill me physically but it would kill the spiritual and emotional sobriety that I have today. I know because I still have major craving after quitting five years ago. It has been the hardest thing in recovery for me to give up.

When I get these cravings, the best thing for me to do is to get out of self and do service. Whether it is to come here and post, to pick up the phone, go to a meeting, it takes me out of where I am at in a healthy and productive way. Service helped me with my self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect. But the greatest gift was self-honesty, because when I share with others, I remember when and when I work with others there are a reflection of my Higher Self. What it use to be like, what happened and what it is like today! I try to ask myself how much have I changed, and I generally end up with the self-knowledge, you are far from fixed yet, just keep coming, then you won't have to come back.

Thanks for letting me share.
This was something I posted in 2004. That was a long time ago. How time flies. So glad I am still here.

Keep coming so you don't have to come back.

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Old 10-29-2016, 10:21 AM   #167
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The well-known maxim, "While there is life there is hope," has deeper meaning in reverse: "While there is hope there is life."

Hope comes first, life follows. Hope gives power to life. Hope rouses life to continue, to expand, to grow, to reach out, to go on.

Hope sees a light where there isn't any.

Hope lights candles in millions of despairing hearts.

Hope is the miracle medicine of the mind. It inspires the will to live. Hope is the physician's strongest ally.

Hope is man's shield and buckler against defeat.

"Hope," wrote Alexander Pope, "springs eternal in the human breast." And as long as it does man will triumph and move forward.

Hope never sounds retreat. Hope keeps the banners flying.

Hope revives ideals, renews dreams, revitalizes visions.

Hope scales the peak, wrestles with the imposible, achieves the highest aim.

"The word which God has written on the brow of every man," wrote Victor Hugo, "is Hope." As long as man has hope no situation is hopeless."

- Wilfred A. Peterson
The 12 Promises of AA gave me hope and they are what kept coming back. I wanted that new freedom and a new happiness that the first one offered. When I walked through the doors of AA, I got hope. I saw people staying clean and sober, doing what I had been trying to do for eight long years. I couldn't comprehend years, but days and months gave me a realistic goal. Before, I could stop, but I couldn't stay stopped. In today, I have stopped using, one day at a time for 25 years.

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Old 11-02-2016, 07:56 PM   #168
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THREE GREAT LESSONS OF LIFE -

The Turtle, The Frogs & The Pretty Lady
Author Unknown
June 17, 2010

We learn a lot through our experiences in life. The following 3
examples of TURTLES, FROGS and THE PRETTY LADY teach us some lesson.

Enjoy reading the same and do ponder over them.

*****

The Turtles

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being
naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their
outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable
place. During the second year of their journey they found a place
ideal for them at last!

For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic
basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five
years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the
oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'

[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our
expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we do not do anything ourselves.]

*****

The Frogs

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'

[ Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you,
remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember
that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]

*****

The Pretty Lady

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together.
They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged.
They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river.

The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet.. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily.

When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.

All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation.

Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not
stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite

The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'

[This very old story reflects the thinking of many people today.

We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river.

This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.
Lessons are good any time.

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Old 11-11-2016, 04:54 AM   #169
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The Three headed Dragon

Long long ago in ancient times in a far away place..over the sea and though the valleys there was a place called SELF.
In Self was many villages and towns. Self was run by a King..kindhearted soul, benelovent to His people.
The Three headed dragon came through Self, plundedring & reaping, damages to homes and the townsfolf and outlying villages.
The king saw the grief and the loss of his peole and thought long and hard on what could be done.
Finally it came to him. Slay the dragon...

He gathered his very best men, two of them , and said..This may be dangerous but we must slay the dragon.
The two guards agreed and went forth from the castle to find the dragon.
Weeks passed....then came the awaited day for the king
There was a messenger saying the guards were returning.
the guards came to the King and said here is the head of the dragon...He is dead.
The King put out the word and celebrations began
the townsfolk and the villagers came together & honored the guards
With the feast the King prepared
they began plans & started rebuilding
All was well within the world of Self.

Yet there was an ominousness no one could describe
But they were grateful nonethe less for the Peace


Hence the dragon returned
It had regrown the ugly head --more fugly than before
And once again there were fires with
Flames that shot from the dragon's nostrils for miles
and Plundering and such destruction.
People died and the loss was great.

The King was saddend by this.
He suffered loss too
And the loss he saw in his people componded his own great loss.

He knew once again they must slay the dragon.
He banded together his strongest men
One of his greatest armies and told them what he had told the guards
"This may be dangerous but we must slay the dragon."
He asked if they were willing and they agreed
The army went forth from the castle and gathered their equipment and their armor.

They left--knowing it was dangerous...
knowing the loss the dragon had created fueled them with energy

Weeks passed...then a month...the dragon was sly
He hid from them
he toyed with them but finally after many strategic maneuvers
They had him and they cut two heads off
they returned to the castle and the King.

To the King they said here two heads of the dragon...He is dead.
The King put out the word and celebrations began
the townsfolk and the villagers came together in honor of the guards
With the feast the King prepared .
They began plans & started rebuilding
All was well within the world of Self.

Yet, once again, there was an ominousness no one could describe
But they were grateful none the less for the Peace

A short time after all rebuilding was complete
there was that familiar sound
Hissing, thundering, Peals of fire
and once again there was tremendous horrible destruction.
The loss and the destruction was greater than they had ever known.
There was mourning, crying, sadness, despair and desolation in the serene place known as Self.

The King was dismayed and said "Good God Almighty....HELP!"
it was more like a prayer.

The King went on to bed after this and tried to sleep
but sleep would not come
His soul was tormented and in anguish.
Suddenly a light appeared in the corner of his room.
the King rubbed his eyes, shook his head,
The light was still there
the light then became a vision
In this vision the solution came
there within a grave in this vision the dragon was in a grave minus all three heads.

The next morning the King called several armies together and said
This must cease!!
I had a vision and in the vision the solution came to me
The dragon must be slayed and this time all three heads must be destroyed to end this once and for all time.

No one backed out...
All soldiers were willing.
For they loved their place called SELF.
They said what they needed to say to their families and
They went forth after they gathered their belongings and their equipment.

It was a very long time but the day did come when once again the messenger shouted the arrival of the armies to the king.
The King was anxious and met them at the gate.
The leaders of the armies came forward with haste
to speak to the King.
In earnest they told him of the losses within their ranks..
The dragon, they said, was cunning baffling and powerful.
he hid from us, manipulated us, toyed and played with us
But because banding the armies together makes us a tenasious group
we do have all three heads of the dragon.

Soon the remainder of their armies came forward and yes there they were
With them were all three heads of the dragon.
They had been victrorius, They had conqured the dragon.
Two men alone couldn't do it
One band of soldiers couldn't do it
But banding them all together
The dragon was slayed a
And finally with a sense of relief self celebrated and rejoiced...
The king put on his very best feast and all came from miles around.
There was dancing in the streets,
There was Peace at last...
At long Last there was peace in the land called SELF.


Herein lies the moral of the story...The dragon was King alcohol...the three heads were named [not in order] One was named The use or substance
Another was named delusional thinking [aka: Stinkin thinkin]
Last one was Emotions --this included the spiritual malady

All three had to be dealt with for Self to be victorius and successful over King alcohol.


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Old 11-11-2016, 04:56 AM   #170
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This is a post that I found on another site made by BW, it could already be posted here. I am posting it now, because it spoke to me. It is a good reminder to me to take a look at myself to see where I am at in today.

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Old 12-16-2016, 12:10 AM   #171
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A Cockeyed Optimist lyrics
"South Pacific" soundtrack

Nellie:
When the sky is a bright canary yellow
I forget ev'ry cloud I've ever seen,
So they called me a cockeyed optimist
Immature and incurably green.
I have heard people rant and rave and bellow
That we're done and we might as well be dead,
But I'm only a cockeyed optimist
And I can't get it into my head.
I hear the human race
Is fallin' on its face
And hasn't very far to go,
But ev'ry whippoorwill
Is sellin' me a bill,
And tellin' me it just ain't so.
I could say life is just a bowl of Jello
And appear more intelligent and smart,
But I'm stuck like a dope
With a thing called hope,
And I can't get it out of my heart!
Not this heart...

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Old 12-17-2016, 11:07 AM   #172
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Thursday, May 21, 2015

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Getting Needs Met

I want to change careers . . . I need a friend . . .I'm ready to be in a relationship . . .

Regularly, we become aware of new needs. We may need to change our behavior with our children. We may need a new couch, love and nurturing, a dollar, or help.

Do not be afraid to recognize a want or need. The birth of a want or need, the temporary frustration from acknowledging a need before it's met, is the start of the cycle of receiving what we want. We follow this by letting go, then receiving that which we want and need. Identifying our needs is preparation for good things to come.

Acknowledging our needs means we are being prepared and drawn to that which will meet them. We can have faith to stand in that place in between.

Today, I will let go of my belief that my needs never get met. I will acknowledge my wants and needs, and then turn them over to my Higher Power. My Higher Power cares, sometimes about the silliest little things, if I do. My wants and needs are not an accident. God created me and all my desires.
Found that for the most part, my needs got put on the back burner. They didn't seem to be that important because I compared instead of identifying them as a need and looking at them as something important.

I put others first, lived my life through others and made little or no effort to get my needs met, with no thought of 'doing the footwork' and I guess I assumed things were just going to appear just on my say so. Sometimes, they did, and there have been mini-miracles have happened in my life and things happened in spite of me, and yet how can my God work through me if I am not there? If I am off and not an active participant in my own life, it is kind of hard to live it.

Remember those old words, "I am happy if you are." We live a second hand life, we don't live for ourselves and we end up USING other people instead of living our own lives. What I need to get is a life! That is why there is the slogan, "Live, and let live!"
This is what I need to do, I have been focused again on my self-admitted alcoholic instead of doing what I need to do for my own health and well being. He gets sicker and as his disease has progressed, I realize mine has too.

I have been trying to step out of my isolation by getting out to meetings, playing bridge, and buying things that I need, which included buying clothes that fit since I lost weight. It was like I didn't have the money to do it, because I found myself back in my old fear of not having enough to eat and filling my cupboards, refrigerator and freezer, just in case.

It is good to do these things, but for the right reason. When I get needy, I get greedy.

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Old 06-03-2017, 04:05 AM   #173
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As most people know, one of my loves is Bejeweled 3 and at one stage of my life, I had to turn my thinking about the game, over to my HP.

Well I thinking I am slipping or my HP has a sense of humor. I do mostly play the game for relaxing, because I don't find it very challenging, and for the most part, good score or bad score, I just enjoy the game.

Well tonight, after not getting a score over 150,000, I said, "I don't care if I make a million, I just want a score over 500,000. At one point, I thought the score was over 620M, but I think I must have read it wrong, because when I looked again it was 562M. So I had a little chuckle, and then I didn't find it so funny. I think just maybe it was in the back of my mind, "Here come the million, here come the million...! Wouldn't you know it, I crashed at 991,325, my best score was 62,950 for one move, the kind of hands I was getting when I made me promise to quit when I got a score over 500M. Of course there is that voice says, you came so close, try again, but a promise is a promise, and that is it for tonight.

Hope you have a good Saturday. I hope to do some shopping. Not for clothes, but for food.
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Old 06-08-2017, 11:31 PM   #174
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The future is made of the same stuff as the present.
—Simone Weil

The only lessons that matter for our lives at this time will come to us today. Just as what we needed and were ready for yesterday came yesterday, tomorrow insures more of the same. Concerning ourselves with any other moment but the present prevents us from responding when "the teacher appears."

Each Day A New Beginning

Love this, explains how I feel and how I try to think each day and expresses it so much better than I can.

As the old saying goes, "If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you are missing out on today.

How can I see what is happening in today if I am continually looking over my shoulder at the past or focusing my sight on the future. I can't see what is going on around me and I end up with tunnel vision.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. You can't be ready in today, if you are still focusing on the past and the future.
Originally posted Nov. 5, 2010 on another site. It could be here too.

Love this, it helps me to stay in today. When I stay in today, there is always hope

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Old 06-09-2017, 11:04 PM   #175
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Today I trust what I feel and I listen to my inner voice.

It does not matter if it is logical or if others agree. My feelings and emotions guide me on a path that is right for me.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

This reminds me that no one could tell me what to do and it wasn't until I was ready to do something with my life, no one else could help me.

I had lost all sense of reason and all sense of well being and I thought I was unlovable, unworthy, and undeserving of recovery. What helped me was a lady, who took me to my first meeting saying to me, "You are a child of God. God doesn't make no junk."

I did not trust that inner voice. Old tapes told me it wasn't to be trusted and ignored not worthy of listening to.

I had to change that around and once I did, I did find the joy of living. I no longer have to go outside of myself to validate my feelings and who I am in today. I no longer look outside of myself to find something or someone to make me happy.
Something I wrote in 2011.

[IMG]Will always be grateful for the lady who took me to my first meeting and told me, "Remember you are a child of God and God doesn't make no junk! [/IMG]
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Old 11-11-2017, 03:39 PM   #176
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More Language Of Letting Go

November 10


Find a way to say I can

Slowly I began to see that many of the boxes I found myself in were of my own making. I tended to construct them, crawl in, then wonder who I could blame for putting me there. Who did this to me? I would wonder and sometimes ask aloud. That’s when I’d hear the answer. You did, Melody. You put yourself in this box. Now it’s up to you to get out.

–Melody Beattie, Stop Being Mean to Yourself

Each of us has our own degree of freedom. We have certain things we can do and certain things we can’t. Sometimes this freedom fluctuates at different times in our lives. Sometimes we are bound by our responsibilities to other people. Sometimes we have financial limitations. Sometimes we’re limited by what our body can or cannot do at any given point in time.

Alcoholics who know they cannot drink because they lose control when they do are people who are in touch with their power. They can’t drink, but they get to have a manageable life instead.

Healthy happy people know and recognize what they can do and what they truly can’t– at least not without unwanted repercussions. But sometimes we put too many limitations on ourselves. We look around. Because we’re so used to accepting our limitations, we automatically tell ourselves, I can’t do that, so I can’t do anything else.

I’ve been to the house, touched the rock collection, of the author George Sands who lived in southern France years and years ago during a time when women had few rights. It turned out that George was really a woman who took on a man’s name so she could write and sell her books. Her legend and her books still live on.

Identify what you legitimately can’t do or what you’d be better off and more powerful if you didn’t. Learn to live within those limitations. That’s how you’ll own your power.

But don’t stop there. Look around and see what you can do, too. Be creative. Knowing what we truly can’t do is often a stepping stone to discovering what we can do.

God, help me own my power by surrendering to what I can’t do. Then help me own my power some more by discovering what I can.
No one can make me do anything, unless I give up my power. When I surrender, I am empowered to do what I can't do alone. It is only through my God that I can.

When I see words like this, it reminds me of the song, The Little Engline that Could. He starts out thinking he can, and ends up knowing he can. I need to change my thinking. It is about me and my attitude.
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Old 11-23-2017, 06:07 PM   #177
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Grateful for this site and the opportunity to share my recovery with you. Thank you for being a part of my journey.

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Old 02-19-2018, 12:32 PM   #178
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From Daily OM

We would be wise to respect people who freely admit when they don't know something. They are being honest, with us and with themselves. And we, too, should feel no shame in saying, "I don't know." In doing so, we open ourselves up to the unknown. We can then discover what lies beyond our current levels of understanding. It is the wise person in life that answers questions with a question and inspires the pursuit of internal answers with a funny face, a shrug, and a comical, "I don't know."

What do you think?
Written in 2009

Today I can admit I don't know. My attitude before recovery and in early recovery was "I'm a leading authority on everything, just ask me." My boss use to say, "I hate it when you are always right." He fed my ego. I thought ego was a man thing. Then I learned it meant easing God out and I realized that I had been doing that for years.

So many times I played God with my own life and tried to be God of others always thinking I knew best and thinking that my motive and intentions were good, but in reality, it wasn't for the good of the whole it was what was good for me.

In today:

The willingness to say "I don't know," is humility. We need to become teachable, but if our mind thinks or it is shut off because it thinks it knows it all, it is not receptive to change and not willing to let go of things that no longer work in our lives.

H.O.W. it works, Honesty, Open-Mindedness and Willingness to do what ever it takes to stay clean and sober in today.
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Old 02-24-2018, 06:57 PM   #179
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What Did I Do Today?

So you've been around for many years, helping to spread A.A.

You've worked like he!! since you first came in but what did you do today?

I heard your pitch it was kind of long, you really told them how you

worked the steps in "71, but how are you working them now?

Do you still get up from your soft warm bed when someone is in trouble?

Do you grab your hat and your A.A. book and get there on the double?

Or have you forgotten the early times when you were sort of new.

Maybe you've been around to long that A.A. 's old hat to you.

Maybe you're one of the senior saints, sober and satisfied,

and you've forgotten when you were sick and when you darn near died.

Maybe I shouldn't bring it up, maybe your too blase,

but just for the he!! of it mister, what did you do today?

Have you been around so thingy-eyed long that you have to leave it

up to Harry or Sam, cause your not your brothers keeper and you don't give a dam*?

Maybe tonight the Sports are on, or you could be in a lot of pain.

So what the he!! if the guy or gal is sick, they have only themselves to blame.

Well mister, you have a perfect right to work your own A.A. and you

know you'll do it only your own way no matter what I say.

But tonight before you go to bed, just look in the glass and pray,

that you and the Lord know the answer to, what did I do today?

-- Anonymous
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Jo

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Old 04-01-2018, 02:40 PM   #180
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Today is my birthday. i thought it was the reason for the way i was, until I found out that I was an alcoholic. I was in denial when I came to the doors of recovery and even though I stayed clean and sober, the denial was still there. It wasn't until I saw myself in others nad had a dream at 2 years sober and saw myself as others saw me, that I could no longer deny my disease. I used alcohol like I used everything else. I was not only an alcoholic and an addict too. I always knew I was an addict, so that is probably why I stayed clean and sober.

Through this program I got to know myself and strengthen my belief and faith in my God. He was greater and larger than I ever though possible, and I could see how i limited Him by my narrow outlook.

They say we need honesty, open mindedness and willingness to make this program work. it is a one day at a time program and it saved me from a life of hell.

This weekend is one of beginning. Christ died on the cross, but more importantly to me, He rose again and sits on the right hand of God and intercedes for me.

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Jo

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