Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - May

[bluidkiti]

May 6

Step by Step

"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Ch 5, Third Edition, 1976, p 58.

Today, should I feel insecure and tempted to drink and repeated slip or relapse, I have to ask if I am one of those who is "constitutionally incapable" of being honest with myself. If I am, I need to ask if I have rejected the program's first four words:"Admitted (I am) powerless ..." And if I have not taken Step One, the question is simple: do I want to drink more than I don't want to drink. But if I am as honest as I can in trying to get with the program but still struggle, maybe I am not doing it "One Day at a Time" and thinking in terms of the rest of my life without drinking. The "cure" to that line of thought is simple: today is all any of us has with no guarantee of a tomorrow. I need only to think of the rest of my life as today. And I ask today, if I am constitutionally capable of honesty - first with myself. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PURPOSE IN LIFE

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

~ Emerson ~

The same miracle that started our recovery from addiction gave us a chance for a second life. It also brought us a purpose in life. This was something we had lacked for years. This purpose for our life makes it possible to achieve a state of happiness and peace of mind.

This purpose is to help others. Unless our hearts are filled with the principles of our new way of life, we are not doing our best. The spiritual growth that comes from pursuing a purpose in life makes each day a joy for us and makes our existence worthwhile. Long-timers remind us, “Be as enthusiastic about your recovery as you were about your addiction.”

I never want to say, “This I must do.” I want to say, “This I want to do.” Serving a purpose in life is only a small repayment for the gift of recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Memory is the diary we all carry about with us.

~ Oscar Wilde ~

Our memories create the substance of our identity. People who lose their memory lose any sense of who they are. Some of us have memories of painful events in our childhood, or of traumas that changed our image of ourselves. Those of us who were abused by parents have to learn in adulthood to fill those gaps by becoming good parents to ourselves. Some of us have become trapped at a younger stage of development by painful memories. Now, it is essential to our healing that we not perpetuate our own abuse.

We have to learn to include ourselves in the human family. No matter what we experienced, no matter what we feel, it is all part of what it means to be human. We can heal our memories, not by changing them, but by making peace with them so we are free to live in the present. A man can imagine the little boy he once was— and imagine taking that youngster on his lap and promising him that he will take care of him and keep him safe.

Today I will be a good parent to myself and treat myself with love and respect

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Seeking strength from others prevents us from finding our own strength.

~ Georgette Vickstrom ~

The principles of this program, the friends we have made here, sponsors, and the contact we have with an ever-available Higher Power afford us valuable strength. However, it’s important that we develop our own strength to complement what we look for in others.

Using the tools acquired in this program is a good beginning for cultivating personal strength. It’s like growing a garden. We need to tend it daily, nurturing it, discarding the unproductive behaviors like weeds. When we do, we’ll discover that the seedlings we’re planting at every meeting are taking root and developing blossoms that signal positive growth.

I will be painstaking in nurturing my growth today. My strength will be there when I need it.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I now know how treatment has helped

I didn’t want to be in treatment. I was afraid to have to work on both my addiction and emotional illnesses. I didn’t think it would help. I didn’t know anybody and everybody looked strange to me. For the first few days, I tried to get out and go home (such as it was).

But once I settled down a little, I could see that being away from my daily routine was helpful. I relaxed a little and got to where I could concentrate better. I got to a place where I felt much less tempted to use and was taking my medication regularly. The best part, however, was that I started meeting people who tried to understand me. All this has helped.

Today I will remember two things I learned in treatment that have helped.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

...if they dare not forgive, what becomes of harmony?

~ Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevski ~

We may think we’re being noble when we refuse to forgive ourselves for things we did in the past, but this false humility is often another form of denial. If we truly accept that addiction is a disease we did not ask for, then we are willing to forgive ourselves. If we still think it’s a matter of willpower and strength of character, then of course we won’t forgive ourselves for not being strong enough or smart enough. And if we don’t think well enough of ourselves to forgive, how will we treat others?

Accepting our human limitations is a major step in recovery. Now we don’t expect ourselves to be all-powerful. We’ve surrendered to powerlessness and come to believe our Higher Power will help us. We don’t have to do it all alone, and we don’t have to be perfect. Now we can accept, forgive, and love ourselves with our faults. We can find harmony.

Today I recognize I have a disease. Help me accept my powerlessness.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

But buds will be roses, and kittens, cats

~ Louisa May Alcott ~

Think of how a tree grows. From a tiny seed it splits the soil, spreads its roots, and begins its skyward climb. Over time, the trunk widens, the bark becomes firm and thick, the branches spread ever outward. Season after season, the tree continues its growth until, years later, a massive tree has formed.

You are, in many ways, like a tree. But before you entered the program, you were not a very hardy tree. You were rooted in soil that provided you with little nourishment. You were trying to grow within a forest that deprived you of life-sustaining water and sunshine. Your growth was stunted, and your survival was always in doubt.

Recovery, however, has transplanted you to a soil that is rich with nutrients, in a forest with ample room to grow. The illumination is now plentiful so you can grow strong and tall. Your roots are now firmly entrenched in the ground so you can withstand stormy weather. The longer you are in recovery, the deeper your roots will be. You now are part of a forest of fellowship that encourages the growth of one so that all may grow together.

The love and nourishment given by those in the program encourages my growth and strengthens me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

It has never been, and never will be, easy work! But the road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination.

~ Marian Zimmer Bradley ~

Think for a moment about a city nearby. Now picture the many roads that lead to that city. One may be a winding road. One may be an expressway. No matter which one is taken, it will still reach the same destination. But what will matter is how pleasant the journey is along the way.

Before we entered the program, we probably traveled on the road marked despair. We didn't know there were other roads for our journey. But the program has taught us there are many roads to recovery: strength, hope, peace, happiness, caring, and love.

As long as we keep recovery as our destination, we may choose to travel any road of the program we like. If we've traveled today on the road called despair, we can change our road tonight to one of hope. As long as the program is our destination, we need not worry about losing our way.

Which road will I travel tonight? Where will this road lead me?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being humble

We are always simply servants of our groups, not presidents or authorities. We all take turns doing God’s work. If we take on more than we can handle, chances are we’ll feel martyred or we’ll simply drop out. But this is not common when we share ourselves in the true spirit of service.

If we act in the true spirit of humility, cleaning up or putting up chairs will never be too low a task for us, and being a committee member will never be too exalted.

Am I developing humility?

Higher Power, help me to see how I might serve my group today in whatever capacity.

Today I will practice humility in serving my brothers and sisters by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Popularity is a Siren singing on a rock.

~ ANTHONY BURGESS ~

Newcomer

There’s someone who’s kind of a “star” at one of my regular meetings. Everyone seems to look up to him and love him. To me, he sounds stern and critical. Sometimes I don’t raise my hand, thinking he’d disapprove of what I’d say.

Sponsor

“Principles before personalities” is a slogan that reminds me not to cultivate an attitude of worship toward any person in this fellowship. “Stars” are just other people in recovery, like us. No one person has all the answers. There are old- timers whose experience, love for the program, honesty, and humility are precious gifts. Newcomers, too, can add to what we learn about our addictions. We don’t go to meetings to judge others, but to listen for what speaks to us and furthers our recovery.

Like you, I’ve sometimes fallen under the spell of a high-profile personality. Why invest one person with so much power? Why let one person’s approval be so important here, of all places, where we can experience unconditional love? Why even assume that he or she has an opinion of us?

In recovery, we have the chance to get to know ourselves. Making a Higher Power out of another recovering person is an obstacle, not an aid, in this process.

Today, I focus on principles before personalities.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

AA is the outgrowth of a long period of experimentation. It is true that two men conceived the idea but it was only incorporated into a working plan after pooling the experiences of a hundred more.

The “Big Book” is a collection of ideas and experiences. There is no one in AA who can say “I, and I alone, conceived the idea in its entirety, I, and I alone organized it; I, and I alone control it.” No man—with all due appreciation to the founders—developed AA, for AA is a program of growth; it has grown from the day of its inception and is still in the process of growth and development.

We move onward and upward, side by side and hand in hand, helping and sustaining one another. This way we will advance, but when someone begins to control and command, deserters will outnumber recruits.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

WALK WITH ME

Don’t walk in front of me . . . I may not follow.
Don’t walk behind me . . . I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TRIUMPH OF LOVE

Read Matthew 5:43−47.

But I said unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hare you, and pray for them that despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven . . . (Matthew 5:44−45)

Right reaction is the supreme art of life, and Jesus compressed the secret of that art into a sentence when he said: Resist not evil. A correct understanding of this commandment will regenerate your body, liberate your soul, and remake your life.

Love is God and is therefore absolutely all-powerful. Meeting hatred with Love is the perfect method of self-defense in all circumstances. It renders you absolutely invulnerable to any kind of attack.

If you received bad news, if you are unhappy in your work, or in your home, feel out mentally for the Presence of divine Spirit, all around you; affirm its actuality; and claim that God has dominion over all conditions, and you will soon be free.

And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also (1 John 4:21).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

What Could Be So Important?

Make not treasures on earth, where moth and rust corrupt and thieves break in and steal. Find your treasures in heaven. Wherever a man’s treasures are, there will be his heart.

~ Jesus Christ ~

When I travel, I carry a black briefcase that contains all of my important materials, including a computer, airline tickets, checks I have received, and an address book. Because these items are so vital, I keep the briefcase with me almost all the time. Before delivering a lecture one evening, I set the briefcase down next to the stage, and when I looked for it after the talk, it was not there. Suddenly my heart seemed to skip a beat, and I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. My fear that the satchel had been stolen was almost debilitating. When I asked the lecture sponsor if she had seen the briefcase, she answered, “Oh yes, I put it in my office for safekeeping.”

While I was relieved that the briefcase was safe, I could not help but notice how I had tied my peace to it. I asked myself, “What in that briefcase could be so important that I would lose the peace of God with it?” I wondered how much the anxiety over protecting the property had cost me in the long run. It was a poor trade. What you possess possesses you. Whenever we value a thing more than happiness, we pay a dear price. Things can be replaced, but peace cannot.

Is there anything you value so much that you would lose your happiness if you lost it? Have you succumbed to worshiping at the altar of fear rather than the citadel of trust? What is your black briefcase?

The Sufis suggest, “Do not value anything that could be washed overboard from a ship.” When we remember we are here to love, all else becomes secondary.

Help me keep You first today. Let me not make any false gods before You.

I live to love. I am safe. My heart is at peace.