Today's Thought - February

[bluidkiti]

February 16

Love itself is not an act of will, but sometimes I need the force of my volition to break with my habitual responses and pass along the love already here.
--Hugh Prather

The familiarity of isolation is both haunting and inviting. In our separateness we contemplate the joys of shared hours with others while seeking the freedom from the pain that likewise hovers on the heels of intimate relationships. The question eternally whispering around our souls is, "Do I dare let you in, to share my space, to know my heart's longing, to feel my fears?" Only when we trust to say yes will we find the peace our souls long for.

Passage through the doors that separate us frees us to change, to grow, to love ourselves and others. We must plant our feet in the soil of shared lives to quiet our longing.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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February 17

A.A. Thought for the Day

We in A.A. must remember that we are offering something intangible. We are offering a psychological and spiritual program. We are not offering a medical program. If people need medical treatment, we call in a doctor. If they need a medical prescription, we let the doctor prescribe for them. If they need hospital treatment, we let the hospital take care of them. Our vital A.A. work begins when a person is physically able to receive it. Am I willing to leave medical care to the doctors?

Meditation for the Day

Each moment of your day, which you devote to this new way of life, is a gift to God. The gift of the moments. Even when your desire to serve God is sincere, it is not an easy thing to give up many of these moments: the daily things you had planned to do, given up gladly so that you can perform a good service or say a kind word. If you can see God's purpose in many situations, it will be easier to give God many moments of your day. Every situation has two interpretations - your own and God's. Try to handle each situation in the way you believe God would have it handled.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may make my day count somewhat for God. I pray that I may not spend it all selfishly.

You are reading from the book:

Twenty-Four Hours a Day by Anonymous

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February 18

They are able because they think they are able.
--Virgil

For most of us, addiction was full of doubt. We stopped believing in ourselves. Our thoughts had turned to "stinkin' thinkin'." We didn't believe in much of anything. We didn't take risks. We always looked for the easier, softer way.

In recovery, we start to believe again. We believe in the program. We believe in a Higher Power. We believe in people. And, over time, we believe in ourselves again. We become better at taking risks.

We are able to stay sober because we believe, because we take risks. As we stay sober, we can face almost anything - with the help of others.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I have learned to believe in You. Help me believe in myself. I have something to give to this world. Help me give it freely.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll list ten good points about myself. I'll go over these good points with a friend.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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February 19

I was talking to a friend about something I didn't want to do but believed I needed to do anyway. I was dreading it and feeling irritable. Often when we talk like that, other people scowl and say, "Oh, don't let shoulds control your life. If you don't want to do it, don't."

But this man understood. "At the risk of sounding old-fashioned," he said, "duty calls."

What's there to say about duty? It's a job, for different reasons, that needs to be done - whether we really want to or feel like it.

I learned about duty when my children, Nichole and Shane, were born. A lot of things needed to be done to take good care of them, whether I felt like doing all of those things or not.

I learned throughout the years that even the most exciting jobs have uninteresting and sometimes distasteful duties. When I worked for a daily newspaper, I loved my job. I enjoyed covering front-page news. But many of the stories I was assigned to were duty stories.

Sometimes a relative needs help. A parent may get sick, grow old, or become vulnerable or infirm. While we don't want to become duty-bound and strap our entire lives with shoulds, there are times in any relationship - family, romantic, or friend - when a code of honor rules and we do what we must.

"I believe we have deeper duties too," a friend said. "If we've been given sobriety, spiritual growth, or gifts, I believe that it's our duty to pass those gifts along and share them when we're asked."

Go ahead. Say arrrgh. Dread what you're about to do. I know, there are more interesting and exciting things calling your name. But for a moment, can you put those things aside?

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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February 21

To err is human; to blame it on the other guy is even more human.
--Bob Goddard

We are on a path that leads us to become better people with greater insight and stronger character. A central theme on this path is learning to take responsibility for ourselves, our mistakes, and our choices as we deal with our situations. We can make progress on this path by noticing our defensive reactions when we make a mistake or when someone criticizes us. Our old ways were aimed at shifting the blame or counterattacking to get someone else off our case. Now we are learning how to take on the blame when it honestly belongs to us.

One of the first things we need to learn in taking responsibility is that there is no shame in making a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. But some people don't accept responsibility for them, and others do. We have much greater respect for someone who does. Admitting when we were wrong doesn't mean speaking in vague generalities, saying that "mistakes were made." It doesn't mean saying, "Yes, I did this, but only because you did that." It means saying what we did or didn't do and laying the facts out there for us and others to deal with. When we can do that, forgiveness almost always follows shortly.

Today I will hold back my defensiveness and admit the facts as they are.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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February 21

In this world everything changes except good deeds and bad deeds; these follow you as the shadows follow the body.
--Ruth Benedict

Our identity, our being at any moment, is a composite of all we have been in the past. Some of our actions have made us wiser. Others haunt us because we didn't put forth our best effort. All of our deeds contributed in some measure to our growth, however, and they can guide our choice to behave honorably today.

Acceptance, of who we are, our total self, is necessary for our emotional maturity. Shame for past actions will keep us stuck. Our restitution for the past is best made by responsible behavior today. How fortunate that each waking moment offers us opportunities to become our better selves.

Today, just like every day, I'll make choices to behave in ways that will fill me with pride or shame. I pray for thoughtfulness today.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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February 22

A problem can ultimately bring us a gift.

We start our relationship in excitement, hope, and good feelings, with perhaps a measure of fear mixed in. Our history is yet to evolve. A beginning is more a time of romance than reality. But no lasting connection is built on a steady string of good times. Relationships deepen the way individuals do - by meeting the hard times, not accepting defeat, and using difficulty to learn and grow. That is how a problem, something we do not want or choose in our lives, can ultimately bring us a gift.

One year the biggest problem a couple dealt with was illness, another year it was a financial pinch, and another year almost everything came easily. Each situation called for new responses from within, yet for the same spiritual attitude of living one day at a time. Looking back, they appreciate the richness of their lives together because they have risen above their problems, grown from them, and had many times of fun and pleasure. Their problems were hard but built their relationship.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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February 23

The Ghost

There was a ghost living in our house when my youngest child was just a kid, hovering over every bit of his life as he was growing up. The ghost was a character in my youngest son's story; it was just as real as his addicted brother-causing its own form of chaos-and was present even when his brother was not.

Everything that happened in our home and our family made an impression on my youngest child-twice. First, there was the all-too-real drama (and trauma); then there were the hauntings. An arrest here, an overdose there. A drunken car accident, a brother nearly killed. Handcuffs and jail cells, detox and court. Scary phone calls and scary strangers. Scary, out-of-control brother and scary crying mother. Lies, betrayals, and the loss of trust. Love and hate and twisted fate. Everything that happened-both good and bad-had a part in making my youngest son who he is now that he's all grown up.

The ghost living in our house is something my youngest child probably got used to-after all, it was part of the only family he ever knew. The ghost is probably hovering somewhere nearby him, still.

The ghost of my addicted child's mistakes hovered over everything his younger sibling did (and didn't do) . . . and so did his dad and I, skittish and fearful and trying to learn from our own mistakes.

You are reading from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

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February 24

Not only then has each man his individual relation to God, but each man has his peculiar relation to God.
-- George MacDonald

Each of us sees and experiences God in a way somehow unique to us. No two people see things exactly alike. That's why our program has no dogma. Each of us is encouraged to follow a spiritual path that seems to have been created for us. And we need not worry if we're on the right one, because every path leads to God. Would God let us lose our way? Of course not. We will know if a course correction is needed, and God will lead us to it.

Each of us understands God in a way no one else does. There's a place in God's love for each of us. And out of that place we can bring light to other people, just as our own special people have brought their light to us.

I will cultivate my unique vision of God so that I may bring light to someone else.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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February 25

The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed.
--Sebastien R. N. Chamfort

When we first started going to Twelve Step meetings we were often stunned to hear so much laughter. But we soon learned that a good hearty laugh or a joyful smile is as important to our recovery as all the serious issues we explore.

Learning to laugh is part of our growth. It recognizes our shared experiences and helps us feel closer to one another. It also reminds us we are able to smile again, and that a better perspective on life is returning.

We only have today to live, and we are getting better today, so why not smile and enjoy it? Why not open ourselves up to a good laugh and let it push our pain or sorrow out? Now that we are once again choosing how we feel, we have the power to opt for joy.

Today I am grateful for my ability to laugh and share laughter and fun.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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February 26

I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post.
--Reggie Jackson

We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families in our minds. We may have stories our father told about his moment of glory and how he met his challenges. Any of these images selects part of the truth and highlights it, creating a myth that might be worthwhile if we don't take it too literally.

Living a real life never feels as serene as our fantasies. A myth lifts us up, carries us away to other possibilities, but we should always take it with a grain of salt. Recollections or a Norman Rockwell painting romanticizes a piece of reality by omitting the drudgery and confusion of life. Myths are meant as inspirations, not as measurements of our lives.

The difficulties and confusion I feel may just be part of real life. Serenity comes when I accept the mixture that real life is.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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February 27

All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it.
--Samuel Butler

If we take time to watch animals, we see that they have a zest for life that seems to engage them totally in whatever they are doing. A cat chasing its tail, a dog going after a ball, a horse running along the shore, a dolphin leaping and diving - all are actions that reveal energy and delight in simply being alive.

Life, we say, is to be enjoyed, but how many of us manage to put this theory into practice? We often associate pleasure with guilt or with acting out or with hurting or being hurt, and so we stand back from the full enjoyment of our power to be really alive.

Letting go of our shame and feelings of unworthiness will help us to let go and live. If we can tap into the spontaneity that runs through the animal kingdom, we will rediscover the sheer joy of being alive.

I'll try to take time to watch animals at play and learn from their vitality and enjoyment.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

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February 28

When you do all the talking you only learn what you already know.
--Anonymous

One of the secrets for finding answers to any emotional problem is to talk with fellow members we can confide in fully. We don't need to look any farther than our sponsor or the members who are part of our recovery. We quickly find those who always hear with a complete understanding about how we feel.

Such friends are perfect listeners because they have suffered and survived the same types of problems. They are compassionate and sympathetic. They listen to us patiently while we completely describe our emotions. Only then do they share details about how they survived. Just knowing that they understand is comforting to us.

My listeners can't solve my problems for me. But they do show how they used the tools that are available in the Program to work through the same kinds of problems.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous