More Recovery Readings - May

[bluidkiti]

May 9

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Planning is deciding what to change today so tomorrow will be different from yesterday. --Ichak Adizes
A house is like a lump of clay that can be molded and changed. It can be fixed and shaped, torn down and added to, painted, papered, carpeted, and panelled. We can think about how to change it, find pictures in books, and order plans. We can stock up on supplies, take fix-it classes, and get advice from others. But the house will remain unchanged until we pick up a brush, grab a bucket of paint, and get to work. Only then will we see tomorrow the results of what we did today.
Our plans help us construct a vision of how we'd like the future to be, but only actions will bring these things about. With confidence in the rightness of our desires, we can be assured that God never gives us a dream we can't reach.
What action can I take today to make tomorrow's changes?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I learned from them that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic striving, but it comes into us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness. --Brenda Ueland
We tend to be action-oriented and concerned about showing results in the shortest period of time. Our world has emphasized this outlook, especially for men. Now we are seeking spiritual progress. We are on a journey seeking a relationship with our Higher Power, with ourselves, and with others.
Spiritual progress is made by pushing aside busyness and efficiency. We become receptive to inspiration by allowing empty spaces in our lives, some solitude and idleness. This moment - right now - is one such time. It is not clearly goal-oriented. Rather it is a moment when we reflect on ourselves as recovering men. We become receptive to inspiration, to a deeper wisdom, to that part of life which we do not command.
I will remember today that spiritual progress comes only when I make room for it in my life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To expect too much is to have a sentimental view of life, and this is a softness that ends in bitterness. --Flannery O'Connor
Having too high expectations is a set-up for disappointment. Expectations that are high lend themselves to a fantasy life, and reality can never match our fantasies. When we get hooked on the fantasies, somehow thinking they are reality, or should be reality, we are vulnerable to the hurt that accompanies the emergence of "the real." Then we feel cheated--bitter: "Why did this have to happen to me?"
Having too high expectations was a familiar feeling before recovery. And it remains familiar to us, even now. Dreams and aspirations aren't wrong. In fact, they beckon us on to better and greater things. But dreams of what we can become through responsible choices are quite different from idle expectations of what will or should be.
Every moment of every day opens the way to my aspirations that enhance reality. I will be open and receptive to reality and its gifts.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Learning New Behaviors
Sometimes well take a few steps backward. That's okay too. Sometimes its necessary. Sometimes its part of going forward. --Codependent No More
Life is a Gentle Teacher. She wants to help us learn.
The lessons she wants to teach us are the ones we need to learn. Some say they are the lessons we chose to learn before we were born. Others say they are the lessons that were chosen for us.
Its frustrating to be in the midst of learning. It is like sitting in algebra class, listening to a teacher explain a subject beyond our comprehension. We do not understand, but the teacher takes the understanding for granted.
It may feel like someone is torturing us with messages that we shall never understand. We strain and strain. We become angry. Frustrated. Confused. Finally, in despair, we turn away, deciding that that formula will never be available to our mind.
Later, while taking a quiet walk, we break through. Quietly, the gift of understanding has reached that deepest place in us. We understand. We have learned. The next day in class, its hard for us to imagine not knowing. It is hard to remember the frustration and confusion of those who have not yet caught on. It seems so easy . . . now.
Life is a Gentle Teacher. She will keep repeating the lesson until we learn. It is okay to become frustrated. Confused. Angry. Sometimes it is okay to despair. Then, it is okay to walk away and allow the breakthrough to come.
It shall.
Help me remember that frustration and confusion usually precede growth. If my situation is challenging me, it is because Im learning something new, rising to a higher level of understanding. Help me be grateful, even in my frustration, that life is an exciting progression of lessons.


Today my trust in the overall and the long run is deep and is growing. When events and people do not act as I would like them to act, I reach deeper inside for my faith and let it comfort me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Trust Each Step

Stay present for each step of your journey. We don’t go from one place to another in a gigantic leap. We get there in increments, by going through each feeling, each belief, each experience one step at a time.

Sometimes when we pray for miracles, what we’re really praying for is help in skipping steps, for shortcuts. The simple act of acceptance, of returning to each step of our path, can often bring us the miracle we need. Then we see the truth. The real miracle is one always available to each of us: it’s a miracle of acceptance. We can go where we want to go, one step at a time.

Stay present for each step of your journey. Trust each stage. Many things are possible for you if you accept that the fastest way is one step at a time.

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More language of letting go

Say when it’s too much compassion

Sometimes, it’s easy to step across that line and have too much compassion for the people in our lives. Although compassion is good, too much compassion can cripple the people we’re trying to love. We understand so clearly how they feel that we don’t hold them accountable for themselves. Too much compassion can hurt us,too. We can wind up feeling victimized by and resenting the people we’re experiencing too much compassion toward. We’re so worried about their feelings that we neglect our own.

Too much compassion means we don’t believe in others enough to let them do what they need to do to help themselves. It’s a way of telling them, “You can’t.” You can’t handle your reality. You can’t learn your lessons. You can’t handle the truth, so I’ll treat you like a helpless child.

Too much compassion can leave us prey to victimization and manipulation. We’re so worried about how the other person feels that we neglect to take care of ourselves.

Here are some guidleines about compassion.

. If we’re creating a problem for ourselves to solve someone else’s dilemma, we’ve probably crossed the line.

. If we’re so worried about another person’s pain that we’re neglecting our own emotions, we’re probably over-involved.

. If guilt is the underlying motive for our behavior, maybe what we’re practicing isn’t compassion.

The lesson here isn’t to stop caring about others. Instead we need to respect other people’s right to learn their own lessons.

Too much of anything isn’t a good thing. If we’ve crossed that line into too much compassion, we can step back into the safe zone and use a lighter touch.

God, show me if I’m harming someone in my life– a parent, child, or friend– by smothering that person with too much compassion.

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Family Ceremonies
Creating Connections while Apart

by Madisyn Taylor

Create a ceremony around nature to connect with loved ones that are far away.


Life’s journeys may sometimes take us away from our families and friends, but there are many ways to stay connected. Aside from making use of the technology available—speaking on the phone or seeing each other from across cyberspace—we can create simple ceremonies using nature and our own thoughts to connect our hearts across the miles.

The first step in creating your ceremony is to look to nature for similarities in the different surroundings. The second step is agreeing upon something that is meaningful to all involved. If your mother loves birds, then perhaps each time you hear a bird chirp, you can think of her and mentally send love. You may choose the sight of a butterfly, the feel of a breeze or raindrops, or the scent of flowers to remind you of a special someone. The pink glow of sunset might be your favorite time to send a thought, or perhaps the warming oranges of sunrise. We can all see the sun, the moon, and an array of twinkling stars when we look to the skies. The monthly full moon may be your time to connect with your loved ones, or the first star you see each night, knowing that they, too, are gazing into the night sky and sending love. You could choose a day that you would usually celebrate together, such as a holiday or a solstice. If you once shared Sunday brunches in the garden, you can! each seek out a garden on Sundays. Or you can choose a specific time and account for the time difference in order to connect by heart and mind at exactly the same moment.

With practice, we may learn to recognize the feeling that comes when a loved one sends energy our way, and the feeling of soul-to-soul communication. In this case, distance may indeed make our connections stronger. There is certainly much to make us think of our close friends and loved ones often, but when we decide upon a reminder together, we create a simple ceremony of connection that defies any distance. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“Perfect courage,” wrote La Rochefoucauld, “means doing witnessed what we would be capable of with the world looking on.” As we grow in The Program, we recognize persistent fear for what it is, and we become able to handle it. We begin to see each adversity as a God-given opportunity to develop the kind of courage which is born of humility, rather than of bravado. Do I realize that whistling to keep up my courage is merely good practice for whistling?

Today I Pray

May I find courage in my Higher Power. Since all things are possible through Him, I must be able to overcome the insidious fears that haunt me — so often fears of losing someone or some thing that has become important in my life. I pray for my own willingness to let go of those fears.

Today I Will Remember

Praying is more than whistling in the dark.

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One More Day

The dark, uneasy world of family life — where the greatest can fail and the humblest succeed.
– Randall Jarrell

We carry so much emotional baggage from childhood into our adult lives. The sum total of all our experiences forms our personalities and , in the very essence of our being, our spiritual selves. Less often do the wonderful memories, the happier times, spring forward in our minds. The bad feelings, the sad memories, the hard times — these are what we may remember the most.

Who we came from, what we came from, shouldn’t define all that we can be as adults. There may come a time when regardless of our past experiences, we can acknowledge them, put them aside, and move on with our lives.

I can put aside my past by facing my future with hope and promise. I am looking for progress, not perfection.