There Is A Program

[MajestyJo]

If I was ever inclined to forget what it was like and what happened, all I have to do is look at my son and I see my disease in him. He thinks I don't understand because I never used the drugs he did, and yet his using is all alcohol based and he only went on to other things, when the alcohol stopped working for him. I had the same symptoms as they describe in AA meetings, and yet "I" wasn't an alcoholic you know. I hated beer, the taste, the smell, and I even tried to get it down, because I thought I should like it and it was cheaper than liquor. I committed the ultimate sin, I added coca-cola to it, and all it did was make my coca-cola taste bad. I think they called it a Shanty, but I know a lot of people who thought it was sacrilegious.

I could never understand the premise, I didn't feel drunk. I drank liquor and my husband drank beer, he staggered and couldn't drive, while I could walk a straight line and drive him home and not get stopped by the police. The reality is, I couldn't have been sober when I matched him drink for drink, and I compared instead of identifying. I was okay so therefore I was sober, only to find out that I was a functioning drunk.

In today, I know he was a drunk and I am the alcoholic. I had the stinking thinking behind the drinking.

It isn't how much we drink, it is what it does to us when we drink it. I became a different person, one I got to not like very much. As the song says, when I drank I felt like I was 10 ft. tall and bullet proof.

I pray that I may meet the test of waiting for God's guidance. I pray that I will not go off on my own.

24 Hours

Life is just so much better when I remember to pray at the beginning of each day. I love this quote. How often I have started my day without asking for direction and have started out without any knowing thoughts and it is only when I get into a quandry or wonder what the heck I am doing, that I have to stop and restart my day.

Prayer is asking for help. Meditation is listening for the answers.

Sometimes it comes in the form of thought, or a reading, a song, a post on a message board, a phone call, but it will come if I am patient and willing to listen.

When I turn the day over, those little things that turn up makes me know that God is on my side and that I am truly blessed.

God is only a prayer away. If one is good, more is better when it comes to alcohol, it only stand to reason that it works for prayer too.

Each day when I put my life into the care of my God, I have daily reprieve from that first one! I am given a choice. I chose prayer every morning to start my day, a prayer during the day to touch base, and a prayer of thanks every night.