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Old 12-15-2015, 03:59 AM   #16
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December 16

Wisdom for Today

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory.” When I got to the Fourth Step and read these words, I felt lost. I really didn’t know where to begin or how to go about it; but being the good addict I was, I started by looking for the easier, softer way. I thought to myself, “What’s so hard about admitting I’m a screw up?” I thought that was all there was to it, but my sponsor told me otherwise. He began to explain the process to me, and how I would need to write out this inventory. He told me that I would have to turn over every rock and see if there was any dirt under it. He told me there were many different Fourth Step guides, but the process was essentially the same. Suddenly I was no longer lost, but I was scared. I knew there was a lot of dirt under all those rocks.

My sponsor helped me decide on which Fourth Step guide I would use; and then he suggested I spend a week in prayer asking for courage, strength and guidance before I began to write out this inventory. I was glad that my sponsor knew me so well. So I began the process of getting ready to complete this inventory. Uncovering all that I wished to keep hidden was not easy. Honestly facing all that I had done while drinking and drugging was very difficult, yet at the same time it was healing. When I got into this written inventory I was surprised to see some patterns of behavior, beliefs and errors in judgment. I could see how I hurt others and myself, all the anger and rage that I was sitting on and all the losses. It was not a pretty picture. Do I see that I am only as sick as my secrets?

Meditations for the Heart

In reality I didn’t want to do this inventory, but I knew that it needed to be done. Everything inside of me wanted nothing to do with this process. However, it was not up to me to decide this. I had to follow what my Higher Power’s will directed me to do. Just like a child who hasn’t cleaned his room and is made to clean it up, I knew my Higher Power expected me to clean house. In that week before I began to work on this inventory, I also found that my Higher Power would give me what I needed to help me through the process. It continues to amaze me that I rarely get what I want, but always get what I need. What surprised me even more was how I felt when I turned around and saw that my room was all picked up. Do I believe that my Higher Power will give me what I need?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Taking inventory is not an easy process and is something that I would prefer not to do. Nobody likes to clean up a mess, especially me. Still I know that this is what You want me to do. So I ask You this day to remove any fear I may have. I ask You to help me to uncover all the secrets that keep me sick. Give me courage so that I might be responsible and clean every room, even the closets in my house.
Amen.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-16-2015, 03:02 AM   #17
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December 17

Wisdom for Today

I once heard a story of a man who was down on his hands and knees in the grass outside of his house. A neighbor walked by and asked him what he was doing. The man replied, “Searching for my keys.” So the neighbor got down on his hands and knees and helped the man search for the keys. After several minutes the neighbor asked, “Are you sure this is where you dropped your keys?” The man replied, “No, I lost them in the house.” The neighbor looking shocked said, “Then why are we looking for them out here?” The man looked up and stated, “Because the light is better out here.”

The man was correct. The light was better, but there was no way he would find his keys. In the Fourth Step we are asked to be searching. We have two choices. We can look for things in places where we have no chance of finding what we are looking for, or we can go back inside our house and turn the lights on. It is easy to complete Step Four if we look in all the wrong places; it is more difficult to really look and search where we need to. I know that the best way is to look back over our past and examine our behavior, our motives, and look at the emotions that prompted our responses. I know it is hard to clean house, especially the closets that we keep our secrets in, yet this is what we need to do if we are to examine our moral thinking and behavior. Am I willing to really clean house and be searching?

Meditations for the Heart

God is our flashlight and shines brightly for us when we do this inventory. It is hard to look for things in the dark because we all have a tendency to fear what lurks or hides in the dark. Most of us have experienced this fear of the dark at some point in our life. The heart can play all kinds of tricks on us when we are in the dark; yet when the light is turned on, the fear disappears. The moment the light is turned on we feel reassured and safe. The same is true when we use God as our flashlight when doing this inventory. I know this does not make it easier to look at the dirt in our lives, but it does allow us to look at it and not be frightened or overwhelmed. Much of my Fourth Step work was very difficult and unpleasant, yet with God as my flashlight I was not afraid. Do I know that I need to carry the flashlight of God with me when I do my Fourth Step?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
There is so much darkness in my life as an addict and alcoholic. Opening up the closets and seeing the mess inside and dirt that has accumulated over the years is not pleasant. Help me by shining brightly for me as I go about the task of cleaning house. Let me not be afraid of shining Your light on my life.
Amen.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-17-2015, 04:11 AM   #18
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December 18

Wisdom for Today

"A searching and fearless moral inventory..." These are the instructions given us in Step Four, but that word "moral" troubled me. Just what was meant by this word? I guess I struggled with the meaning of this word because I had never thought of myself as moral. In fact, I needed to look up the meaning of this word in a dictionary because I had no concept of what was meant by moral. What I discovered was that morals are guiding principles of right and wrong. In my active addiction I guess I just didn't care if I was moral or not. What this step was asking me to look at was what was right and what was wrong with the principles of my life.
Finding what was wrong was going to be easy because there was so much wrong. The principle that guided my life in addiction was that of self-centeredness. Everything was about me. I did everything the way I wanted. It didn't matter whom I stepped on or how I accomplished the task of self-pleasure. I turned my life over to the care of alcohol and drugs. I watched them slowly destroy anything of value in my life. At least that is what I thought, but this step did not allow me to stop there. I also had to look for what was right in my life. This was the hard part, I judged myself so severely. But in searching through the rubble of my life, I did find that I indeed had some redeeming qualities. There was good in me after all. I did do some things right. Buried deep inside was another principle that guided me to do that which was right. It was buried so deep I had a hard time finding it. I had lost touch with the force in my life that guided my conscious to do what was good and right. Am I looking for both the right and wrong in my life?

Meditations for the Heart

Looking back at my life, it is easy to see that God was always there for me. He managed to protect me from the insanity of my illness and did not allow me to totally destroy my life. Even though there were times that I should have been dead, God kept me breathing. He saw the good that was buried under the rubble and saw in me what I could not see in myself. It was an act of grace that this occurred. I did nothing to deserve this grace, yet I was given another chance. Today I try to seek after God's will for me. I know this is what is right for me; and it is the principle I use to guide my decisions, my behavior, and my desires. I am nowhere near perfect and still fall on my face at times. The good news is that God is still there to pick me up and redirect me. Recovery is not about being perfect, but about the pursuit of progress. What are the principles that I am using to guide my life today?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today I do have a sense of what is right and what is wrong. Help me to develop my moral convictions to seek after Your will for me. Provide me with the power to carry out Your will. Let me seek out that which is healthy for me physically, emotionally and spiritually as I walk through this day.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-18-2015, 02:56 AM   #19
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December 19

Wisdom for Today

One thing that surprised me with regards to completing my Fourth Step was the fact that I strengthened my faith. In Step Three, I had made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understood Him. I trusted and had faith that my Higher Power would be able to walk me through the process of completing an inventory of myself. I did not expect that this process would actually strengthen my faith in God. I am certain that without my Higher Power leading me through the process, my fears would have taken over; and I would have been only willing to clean house superficially.

As a child I loved to climb trees. I would climb higher and higher until the branches were too thin to support my weight. Each time I would go higher in the tree, I trusted that the branches would support me, but eventually I would reach a point when I was unsure if the next branch would hold me. I found the opposite was true in doing my Fourth Step. It was as if the tree branches never got thinner. In fact the deeper I got into uncovering the truth, the more stable the branches became. I am not saying it was easy to uncover some of the secrets in my life, I just knew I was safe in doing so. Do I have faith that God is with me to support me in completing my Fourth Step?

Meditations for the Heart

Early in my recovery process, it was important for me to feel safe. I knew there were places and people I needed to avoid because my safety would be compromised. I also knew there were places and people I could associate with because it was safe. Meetings and recovering people helped make me feel safe, at least from the external pressures I felt. As I surrendered my life to the care of Higher Power and walked through the steps, I found that I began to feel safe on the inside as well. This did not mean that I was immune to relapse or that I had been cured. It just meant that as long as I did what God wanted for me, my safety would not be compromised. It is important to find safety in the recovery process, but even more important to keep it once it is found. Do I seek safety in meetings and with others in recovery? Do I seek safety in a spiritual way?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Thank You for keeping me safe as I walk through the steps. I know that the support I receive from others is a gift from You. Thank You for leading me to these people. You have taken me from a place of insecurity to a place of safety. Let me trust that as long as I walk with You, I will remain safe.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-19-2015, 03:57 AM   #20
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December 20

Wisdom for Today

As I went through the process of completing my Fourth Step, I found my heart very unsettled. A lot of different emotions spun around on the inside. I found myself becoming very angry at this disease and how it had ruined my life. I found myself disgusted with who and what I had become. I found that tears started to flow freely as the sadness of all the losses I had experienced were finally realized. I hurt for my family and what I had done to them. I felt overwhelmed at times by all of these different emotions that surfaced and were frozen deep inside me.

My denial had enabled me not to look at myself. There was an incredible sense of shame that seemed to blanket me. Yet there was this small voice inside of me that said, “Do not be afraid!” As troubling as all this was, I knew that it was stuff I needed not only to face, but also to take ownership of it. Something told me that this was the road I needed to take to find my way out. Looking back, I now understand that my Higher Power was taking care of me in the process. Even though there were many parts of my life that I did not enjoy seeing, I was never given more than I could handle. Most of these unpleasant emotions would have given me every reason to drink or use in the past, but the thought of using never entered my mind. What did enter my mind was a desire to stop the insanity and rebuild my life. Do I understand how important it is to have the support of others in program and faith in my Higher Power, so that I can complete Step Four?

Meditations for the Heart

Pride shuts and locks the door to an open relationship with God. There are two keys that can be used to open this door, both the regular lock and the deadbolt. The first key is humility. When we swallow our pride and admit that we are not God and humbly ask for help and guidance, we turn the first key to unlocking the door. The second key to unlock the deadbolt is obedience. When we choose to follow the directions we are given in recovery and stop insisting that we can do it our way, the key is turned to unlock the door. When we find this humility and become obedient to the will of our Higher Power, the door opens to realizing God’s love for us. We find peace, and we find joy in recovery. This spiritual concept is an essential stone in the foundation of recovery, and without a strong foundation our house will not stand. Am I building a solid foundation?

Petitions to My Higher Power

God,
Let me turn to You this day in humility and obedience, asking for direction and guidance. Let me know and experience Your love and joy in recovery. Let me find courage and willingness in my walk with You today. Help me build a solid foundation, so that this house of recovery may stand strong.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-19-2015, 03:58 AM   #21
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December 21

Wisdom for Today

In the world of addiction I became a slave. I sold my own soul into captivity. There I was, chained up in the bowels of a ship, journeying into the world of self-destruction. Day after day passed, and I continued to live in bondage to my alcohol and drugs. I was not alone, for there were other slaves there in the belly of the ship. I watched as one after another was beaten. I, too, was beaten. I watched, and I saw the destruction of this disease take away all that was important to me. I watched as others died. I feared for my own life.

I look back and am amazed that somehow I was freed. The chains of addiction were loosened, and I was able to get a second chance in life. There is no doubt that I was scarred by the trauma of slavery. Just because I was freed did not mean that I was able to function normally. It would take some time for that to occur. The scars of my disease, those character defects, needed time to heal; but like all serious scars, a mark remains. I no longer bleed dishonesty, grandiosity, fear, unrealistic expectations, carelessness or self-centeredness. But each of these personality flaws is still a part of me, just like the marks left by a serious wound. So, I need to be on watch to make sure that these defects do not begin to ooze again. If and when they do, I must again do the things necessary to stop these defects from infecting my life again. I must ask for help from God and from my friends in recovery again and again to find the needed healing. Do I watch for my character defects to re-emerge?

Meditations for the Heart

Standing watch requires self-discipline. I need to be on guard and not fall asleep on my watch. I cannot afford to fall prey to a sneak attack or yield one point of what I have gained. Hatred, resentment, pride, lust, jealousy are but a few of the armies that can attack my camp. I need to remain a good soldier with self-discipline to stay alert. When I do see an attacker, I must sound the alarm by telling on my disease. By telling on my disease and by trusting my army for help, I can defeat any attacker. I cannot fight these battles on my own. I need help from my Higher Power and my support system. I must talk with my sponsor and at meetings and in prayer to find the best method to defeat these attackers. Am I working at self-discipline and remaining alert?

Petitions to My Higher Power

God,
Today I will stand watch for my character defects that come back to attack me again. Help me to be a good soldier with self-discipline and to remain alert. Let me sound the alarm if it is needed, and prevent me from selling my soul back into slavery.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-21-2015, 03:28 AM   #22
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December 22

Wisdom for Today
Much like the slaves that were brought over to this country in the belly of a ship, when I walked into the doors of the Twelve Step program, I felt like I was in a different world. I was confused and scared. My brain was still cloudy from my last binge, and I didn't know what to expect. However, unlike the slaves when I got off the boat, I was free. This new freedom terrified me. I really didn't know what to expect, and I didn't really believe that I was free. I learned quickly though that with freedom also came responsibility. There was much work to be done if I was to survive in this new world. I had to learn a new language, and I had to figure out what the rules were. Fortunately these rules were well established and written out.
At the beginning of that first meeting, I heard words being read from a book, "Rarely have we seen a person fail, who has thoroughly followed our path." Where was this path and would the journey be difficult? I had no idea. I just knew it had to be better than being chained up in that slave ship of addiction. Each step I took along the way was not easy, just simple. I mean it was not complicated. First, I had to admit that I had been a slave to addiction and didn't know how to live in freedom. Then I had to believe that the path indeed leads to a better place, a place where my brain would no longer be cloudy; and I would be able to live in freedom responsibly. Next I had to agree to stick close to the guide who would lead the way and to agree to follow His every instruction if I wanted to get to this better place safely. This path was not easy, and I even saw some people turn around and go back to the ship wanting to be back in the chains, because it was familiar and known. Do I want to go back, or am I willing to continue the journey?
Meditations for the Heart
Arriving at Step Four, the path looked treacherous. I was not sure I wanted to continue, and I knew I didn't want to go back. I looked to my guide for help. He told me to move slowly along this part of the path and to look closely at the pitfalls along the way. I could see farther up the trail that there were others who had successfully made it and negotiated this part of the journey. The look on their faces told me it was not easy, but it was worth it. So I trusted my guide and moved carefully through the difficult path. As I moved through this part of the journey, I learned that all that depressed me, all that I feared and all that I was ashamed of were powerless to harm me as long as I followed my guide. Am I ready to follow my spiritual guide to a better place?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Thank You for being my guide. Grant me courage in the difficult parts of this journey, and let me pass safely through this difficult path. Let me always look forward and not look back. Help me to take each step.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-21-2015, 03:29 AM   #23
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December 23

Wisdom for Today
Forgiveness is a difficult spiritual concept; yet it is essential to understand this concept to grasp the full meaning behind Step Five. As a young boy I would attend church each Sunday with my family. I learned of religious practices such as confession and absolution, but I really did not understand this spiritual concept of forgiveness. So here I was years later cloaked in a heavy blanket of shame, walking into a meeting with a recovering pastor to talk about doing my Fifth Step. I was about to tell God all that I had done wrong. I would admit this to myself and to another human being. My heart raced, and I am sure I was sweating even though it was quite cold outside.
How was I to tell God that I had fallen short? How was I to look at this person I was meeting with in the eye? The thought of forgiveness never entered my mind. I walked into the office and felt much like I did when I had been sent to the principal’s office or when I stood before the judge. My breathing was heavy, and I stared at the floor. The church secretary told me it would a few minutes. I sat down, but wanted to run. This was when I remembered these words from the Bible, “Fear not.” Fear indeed was trying to take control in my life in that moment; and so I took a deep breath and said to my Higher Power, “Walk with me and give me strength.” Do I trust that God will indeed give me strength in my journey?
Meditations for the Heart
I wanted very much to be unburdened of that blanket of shame. I wanted to make the world a better place and happier, because I was in it. I wanted very much for the pain to go away, but I had no idea how to make this happen. But all this would change in the hours that followed; for I learned much about the role I had been playing as prosecutor, judge and jury in the coming hours. I would learn much about the concept of forgiveness – a forgiveness that was freely given to me by God and forgiveness I could grant myself. I would learn much about “not shutting the door on the past and not regretting the past.” I would learn about wiping the slate clean and getting a fresh start. I gained a new appreciation of the statement, “but for the grace of God.” Do I see that admitting my wrongs to God, myself and another human being is the place that forgiveness begins?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I need Your grace in my life. I know that I cannot earn this; for it a gift – a gift that You provide to me each day anew. It is a gift that indeed wipes the slate clean and gives me a new chance at life! Help me to accept this gift with a humble heart and to treasure what it means for me each and every day.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-21-2015, 03:29 AM   #24
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December 24

Wisdom for Today
There is a saying that goes, "All good gifts come to those who wait." Well, waiting was not something that I was very good at; in fact, I was rather impatient. I can remember growing up as a child and being all excited because Christmas or my birthday was just around the corner. I knew that with these special days I would receive gifts. I was so anxious for the time to arrive that I couldn't wait. I was impatient. Between my impatience and anxiety, I would become irritable and often times would pick a fight with my brothers. In early recovery I was not much different. I continued to want what I wanted, and I wanted it right now. I completed my Fourth Step and wanted some instant reward, but there was none. I didn't want to wait.
I found myself clean and sober, yet still anxious and impatient. I had even listed these things in my Fourth Step. Why didn't they just go away? I found myself getting crabby at meetings and even wanting to pick fights with my sponsor. Wasn't it enough that I completed this inventory? I didn't really understand about what I was becoming angry. At a meeting one night, I was sitting there irritated. I was impatient. The topic for the meeting that night was patience. I sat and didn't even want to listen to what was being said. It came to my turn to talk, and I proceeded to tell everyone how bad my day was going. I whined and complained. Then after I had finished talking, an older and much wiser member of the fellowship looked at me and said, "It sounds like God has given you lots of opportunities to practice patience today." I wanted to get up and walk out of the meeting at that point. After the meeting ended, I talked to my sponsor, and he said, "Gifts come in all types of packages. We do not always see the gifts we receive." I thought about it, and he was right. God was giving me the opportunity to work on my defects. Today I am grateful to have been given such a wonderful gift. Do I see that many of the struggles I have are also opportunities and gifts?
Meditations for the Heart
Sometimes I find that it is important to look at things from a different angle to gain perspective. To see things more clearly, I find it helpful sometimes to imagine what the situation looks like from God's perspective. What I have discovered is that each and every need I have is an opportunity for my Higher Power. When I look at things this way, life looks very different. I can look at my needs and admit that often times I am powerless to meet them. I can turn to my Higher Power and ask for help. I then need to have faith that My Higher Power indeed will find a way to satisfy my needs. God then takes advantage of this opportunity. He provides me with ways to meet my needs. These are not always what I would expect them to be. Just as He provided me with opportunities to practice patience to learn more about my impatience, He also provides me with answers, resources and feedback from friends in the program to aid in my learning. Recovery is all about learning to live again. Do I look at things differently now?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Give me wisdom and insight into all the ways that You gift me with opportunities for growth. Help me to take advantage of each of these opportunities, so that I might learn new ways to live life to it's fullest. Help me to find things each day for which to be grateful, and help me to give credit where credit is due.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-21-2015, 03:30 AM   #25
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December 25

Wisdom for Today
Many of us will be celebrating today. Exchanging gifts, spending time with family, etc. is a good time for most. As addicts and alcoholics, we often remember when Christmas was not always a time to celebrate. Then we walked into the day with guilt and remorse or sadness. Today is indeed a day to celebrate, for we have been given the wonderful gift of sobriety. It is a day when we can be especially grateful. Although this gift does not come all wrapped up with ribbons and bows, it certainly is the most precious gift an addict can have, for without sobriety we have nothing. Take time to acknowledge this gift today, and look to your Higher Power with gratitude.
For some of us the holidays are not always easy. Memories can be painful. For some of us the holidays mean interacting with family, which can trigger all kinds of emotions and struggles even in recovery. Still we need to focus on the gift we have received. I find that asking myself what God wants me to do with this gift helps me even through any holiday struggles. Today I believe He just wants me to be the best person I can be regardless of my circumstances. I also believe He wants me to look for His peace and joy in this day. Do I treasure the gift that I am given this day?
Meditations for the Heart
Today is a day to experience God's heaven here on earth. With each smiling face and glimmering light in this day, I can experience joy. With each quiet moment and each deep thought I can experience peace. All that is around me may hustle and bustle with the excitement of the day, but I can carry this peace and joy inside of me. I can know God's closeness to me and rest in His arms today. I can feel His comfort in my heart as I walk through this day. This day in many ways is just like any other in recovery. Yes, there may be all the glitter and glitz and the fancy packages, but this day I am gifted with sobriety just like all the other twenty-four hours I am given. Yet it is also different because it is a holiday. So today I will be conscious of each breath I am given and seek out the inner peace and joy in my heart. Do I seek after joy and peace in my recovery?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You give me only one day at a time. For this I am grateful. Help me to make this a joyful holiday and to know Your peace. Walk through this day with me, and guide me away from the pitfalls or struggles I may encounter without Your help. Let me rest in Your arms this day.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-21-2015, 03:30 AM   #26
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December 26

Wisdom for Today
"Admitted to God, ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." These words in Step Five made my very insides groan. To honestly say out loud the words so carefully written in Step Four and admit to God, myself and someone else who and what I was and what I had done and not done was a task I thought too great. Yet I knew that this step had been written for a reason. So many that had gone before me had stated that they had found a new freedom in this step. So why was I so petrified by this task? The reality was that shame had me in its grasp. I stood broken and damaged and had no desire to complete this step.
I pondered for many days what the wisdom was behind this step and continued to be paralyzed. I could not even call the person that my sponsor suggested to me to arrange a meeting to discuss doing my Fifth Step. I didn't even want to talk to my sponsor about this. I went to a meeting I normally didn't attend hoping to find a way out. The chair of the meeting went through all of the opening rituals and then introduced the topic for the evening. He said, "Tonight I think we should talk about forgiveness." He went on to talk about his Fifth Step and how it had not only opened his eyes to the work he needed to do about his defects of character, but also how it opened the door to forgiving himself for all the wrongs he had committed. I was astounded. How was it that in this meeting I so rarely attended that this was the topic of the evening? God works in mysterious ways. The longer I stay clean and sober, the more I am convinced that there is no such thing as coincidence. Do I see how God works in and through the program?
Meditations for the Heart
Forgiveness was something I had heard about a lot in church growing up, but it was something that I really didn't understand. It was clear to me that this was a spiritual concept I needed to learn more about. Perhaps this is why my sponsor had suggested I talk with a recovering pastor to do my Fifth Step. At any rate the next day after this meeting, I made a phone call to schedule a meeting; and indeed in the following weeks I did learn much about this spiritual concept. I also learned why it was not only important but necessary to keep my Higher Power in the center of my life. It was about balance. I had gotten so out of balance spiritually because of my addiction. Now I had to learn about balance. Do I understand the necessity of keeping my Higher Power in the center of my life?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Standing before You has not always been easy. Too often I have wanted to run and hide because of my shame. I understand why it is so important to keep You in the center of my life. If I do not trust You, whom can I trust? Walk with me this day and give me the willingness I need to live as You want me to live. Guide me each step of the way.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-26-2015, 03:55 AM   #27
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December 27

Wisdom for Today
While forgiveness does indeed wipe the slate clean, it cannot undo the consequences of our actions. In completing my Fifth Step, I had to accept the fact that my actions while under the influence had certainly hurt a lot of different people including myself. Most of this hurt was not intentional. It simply was a consequence of my disease. When the drugs and alcohol were making my decisions for me, I said and did things I wish I hadn’t. Even during the brief periods of time when I was not using, I said and did things of which I was not proud. I would have to pick up the pieces of my brokenness.
I had indeed made a lot of mistakes and wronged many people. My Higher Power knew this. I knew this, and now another person also knew this. It is God who in His grace provides grace and forgiveness. I also needed to learn how to forgive myself. This began with working on accepting myself – the good, the bad and the ugly. It also was made possible by accepting that much of what occurred in my life was not by conscious choice. My addiction had made choices for me, choices that I would not have made if I were in my right mind. I also began to do repair work on the damage done. Perhaps what helped me most was to seek permission to forgive myself through prayer and meditation. Self-forgiveness is a process and not an event; it takes time. Have I forgiven myself?
Meditations for the Heart
There is an ancient myth about a bird of fire that rises from the ashes. The Phoenix was given new life. I likewise was given a new life in recovery. If I was going to rise from the ashes of my life, I needed to learn to forgive myself. The days of self-hatred, disgust and shame had to end. These attitudes needed to die. I needed to arise from the ashes of my life with a willingness to be obedient to my Higher Power’s will and live a life of service and integrity. While I do not do this perfectly, and none of us can, I do strive for progress. Much like the Phoenix , I have experienced a resurrection and been given a new chance on life. Am I using this new chance on life to serve others and seek integrity in all that I do?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Help me this day to seek after Your will and be willing to do that which is the right thing. Let me seek to follow Your direction in all that do. Let me this day find acceptance of who I am, Your forgiven child. Let me reach out to others in humble service.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-26-2015, 03:56 AM   #28
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December 28

Wisdom for Today
“At some of these we balked.” This line in the AA Big Book certainly described my feelings about doing a Fifth Step. I was like many addicts and alcoholics; I just wanted to find an easier, softer way. I mean after all, God already knew everything I had done wrong. Why did I have to talk to another human being about all the “yuk” in my Fourth Step? I was reluctant to discuss my shortcomings with someone else. I figured that as long as I was clean and sober and pointed my life in a new direction, I really didn’t have to talk with anyone else.
But when I got honest with myself about the reason why I was balking about completing this step, it became clearer to me why I indeed needed to follow through. The reality was that I was guilt-ridden, ashamed and afraid. I was depressed. I knew these feelings would not go away on their own. I also knew enough about the program to know that I probably wasn’t the first addict or alcoholic to feel this way. I needed to trust that this step was a part of the process for a reason. I needed to trust that somehow this step would help me. I began to realize my need for others and that I would never get out of the isolation without carrying out this step, nor would I ever be able forever to hide the secrets. I knew the burdens I felt would never be lifted without completing this step. Do I trust the program works to relieve burdens?
Meditations for the Heart
Life certainly has its ups and downs; sometimes it can even spin around. I have learned the only healthy way to deal with this is to stay calm in the storm. Not something I was particularly good at when I was drinking and using! But the spiritual aspects and principles of the program can teach you to find this inner calm. I find that I can find that inner calm best when I spend time, even a few minutes, in quiet communion with my Higher Power. When I walk through the storms of life with this inner calm, I find I can get more accomplished. I find that worry does not enter into the picture. I find it easier to “stay in today.” I am no good to others or myself when I get agitated, stressed out, angry or overwhelmed. I need to seek this inner calm in all that I do. Do I seek an inner calmness and things that are true and good for me?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I know that I need to bring my burdens to You. Help me to be free to share these burdens with others also, so that I do not have to shoulder the load by myself. Teach me to seek after an inner calmness and to be true and good in all that I do this day. Give me courage to weather the storms of life, and help me to know that the sunny days of life do follow.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-26-2015, 11:03 PM   #29
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December 29

Wisdom for Today
When I looked at my life and sat down to tell someone else about the exact nature of my wrongs, I saw that there were very few major things that I had done wrong. But the list of little things that I had done wrong seemed endless. It was all these little things that really added up to the nature of my problems. I didn’t just tell one lie; there were hundreds of them. Each one, in and of itself, didn’t seem so bad; but the accumulated effect had been profound. I wasn’t self-centered on just one occasion, nor did I let fear run my life just once. Each and every defect in my character was pervasive. It had been all these little things that had been so damaging.
In the same way, it has not been one huge event that provided me with a spiritual awakening. Lightning did not strike, and there has not been a bright light that suddenly came into my life. It has been all the little things that have really turned my life around. This is not to downplay what I have learned through crisis situations I have faced in recovery, because these tests have provided much learning as well. But it has been the little things – each time I tell the truth, each time I am of service to others, each time I have courage in the face of fear and many other events that have turned my life into something wonderful. Do I live in the moment from decision to decision looking to improve on the little things?
Meditations for the Heart
I used to believe in coincidence; but the longer I stay clean and sober, the more I believe that God has a plan for me. There are literally dozens and dozens of experiences I have had in recovery that I cannot simply write off as coincidence. I have listened to story after story of others in recovery that make me believe there is a Divine Spirit, who lives in those who are willing to have faith. I personally believe that the evidence of a spiritual existence is all around us. All we need do is open our eyes. Last night I listened to another alcoholic talk of one such burning bush experience. Much had gone awry in his life despite 1-1/2 years of clean time. He finally was ready to give up and walked into a bar to order a drink. He was dumbfounded when he looked and saw the bartender was a member of his home group. He talked with the bartender and chose not to relapse. Do I see evidence of Divine intervention in my life? Do I look for it in what I do every day?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I have never been good at details of life. I am one who enjoys the forest but rarely takes the time to look at an individual tree. Help me to enjoy the beauty in the little things in life. Help me to trust that all of these little things add up to a life that I can be happy with. Help me to look for the artwork You complete each and every day of my life.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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Old 12-28-2015, 05:45 AM   #30
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December 30

Wisdom for Today
Life is full of surprises. I never know what life has in store for me on any given day. There are days that life is difficult and filled with struggle. There are days that are filled with joy and happiness. There are days when I find fear creeping back into my life. There are days that do not seem special, and others that are turning points for me in my search for serenity. Regardless of what life brings my way, it is important for me to start each day the same way.
Each day when I arise, I take some quiet time to center myself and focus on what God wants me to do. It has proven to be one of the most valuable steps I take to protect my recovery. When I focus on God’s will rather than my own will, I remove myself from the equation. What I mean is this: “The journey of my day + my will = potential for, if not, certain trouble,” versus, “The journey of my day + God’s will = a positive outcome.” When I put God’s will for me in the equation, I do not need to worry about the surprises life might bring. I know that God will guide me in the right direction and give me what I need to make it through any struggle. Do I put my will in the equation of life still?
Meditations for the Heart
Beginning my day with quiet time also provides me with a daily opportunity to ask for help. That has also been a good habit for me to get into. In accepting my limitations and acknowledging my on-going need for help, I practice humility. My sponsor always told me to practice the principles. For a long time I did not know what he meant, but was afraid to ask. In truth, I was not really afraid to ask, but afraid of the answer I might get. Finally I did ask, and he looked at me and said; “Now I know why they put the last ‘S’ in the AA acronym, K-I-S-S.” It took me a little while to figure out he meant I was being stupid. He went on to say, “There is a big difference between reading a recipe and going out, buying the ingredients, putting them together in the correct measure and baking it. Practice means putting it into action.” Do I practice what I need to do each day?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This is a new day, and I do not yet know where the path will lead. Help me this day to start this journey with You by my side. Walk with me, and supply me with Your guidance along the way. Help me to know that You are always near.
Amen.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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