Today's Thought - September

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September 16

He's making me crazy. I don't understand. Why would someone say they were going to do one thing, then do something so different from what they say? He looks so good and talks so good. His promises sound so, so real, but then everything falls apart. Then about the time I'm ready to blow a gasket, he calls, charms my socks off, and the whole cycle starts over again. I walk away, scratching my head and wondering, What's wrong with me? Did I just imagine this whole thing? Did I overact? I don't get it, I don't understand.

Maybe it's time for an Al-Anon meeting.

And when we're talking on the phone, I feel like I'm the only one for him. But then when I see him, I know he's lying to me. I know he's seeing someone else and standing there looking me right in the eyes and lying about it. I don't understand why I feel so insane.

Maybe it's time for an Al-Anon meeting.

And then I catch him straight-out lying to me, and I blow up. I just can't stand that lying stuff, especially when I knew all the time he was lying to me and he denied it. I put up with it and put up with it and then finally I can't take it anymore. By the time I blow up, he's standing there looking calm and serene and I'm acting like an insane person.

It's not you, It's him. How about that meeting?

Oh yeah. That Al-Anon meeting.

"Step One: Powerless over people, places, and things. My life has become unmanageable." Take a deep breath. Say it again. Then say it one more time.


Detach in love. Disentangle. Un-embroil yourself from other people's insanity so you can be restored to sanity. It's a value many of us learned the hard way.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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September 17

He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery!
--Anne Frank

Someone once said happiness is like a butterfly: if we chase it, we'll never find it. But if we sit quietly, it will come and land on us. Faith and courage are the same. All we have to do is sit quietly and ask for these gifts from God. In time, and with patience, they will be ours, and so will the happiness we can then pass on to others.

Anne Frank wrote the above words facing a concentration camp and certain death. If she could find happiness and faith and courage within herself under those circumstances, then certainly we can too. These gifts are ours, already within us, if we but look for them.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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September 18

There is no love apart from the deeds of love; no potentiality of love but that which is manifested in loving.
--Jean-Paul Sartre

Newcomer

Sometimes I wonder if I can give or receive love. When I think about my past in active addiction, there was passion and drama, but not a lot of love. There hasn't been much of it in my recovery so far either.

Sponsor

What exactly are we talking about when we talk about love? Many of us - and this was certainly true of me - have used this word primarily to describe a fantasy. We imagined that somewhere there was an ideal person who could meet all our needs and make us whole. Love meant rescue or a problem-free relationship. When we didn't find it, we bewailed our loneliness and bad luck.

Love is not something that is bestowed on us. We can create it, everyday. It grows in each of us as we take actions that affirm our respect and caring for others and ourselves. Love is not limited to romantic encounters, but extends to our daily relationships with other people, including our friends and members of our communities. Love is not in scarce supply. Our acts of kindness and service and our practice of genuine tolerance renew love in the world and in our hearts.

Today, I add to the abundance of many kinds of love in my life.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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September 19

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly....
--Antoine de Saint Exupery

If we look at the world through suspicious or angry eyes, we'll find a world that mirrors our expectations - a world where tension will mount, arguments will abound, strife will be present where none need be. However, our experiences in some manner bless us, and we'll recognize that if we'll look upon them with gratitude. Everything in our path is meant for our good and we'll see the good when our hearts act as the eyes for our minds.

When we see with our hearts, our responses to the turmoil around us, the fighting children, the traffic snarls, the angry lovers, will be soft acceptance. When our hearts guide the action we can accept those things we cannot change, and change those we can. And the heart, as the seat of all wisdom, will always know the difference.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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September 20

The only way out is through. The only way to heal the pain is to embrace the pain.
--Fritz Perls

You are like a diamond that is continually being polished and perfected. As this purification proceeds, old thought forms and negative patterns rise to the surface to be released. Past unfinished business must be completed. Old traumas that have been stored in the body ask to be discharged.

This is not a bad thing - far from it. The fact that painful events are being re-experienced is a sign that healing is taking place. Although you may feel tempted to run from these feelings, let yourself experience them. As you allow yourself to feel the pain, the pain diminishes and eventually disappears.

Spirit is always helping you to release that which you no longer need. Let go of the resistance and surrender to the process. Complete the past and move on. Once you have done the work, you will never have to repeat it. How good it feels to be free!

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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September 21

I couldn't hit a wall with a six-gun, but I can twirl one. It looks good.
--John Wayne

Many of us fake emotions because our past experiences never taught us how to use boundaries when dealing with feelings. Now we are oftentimes stumped when it comes to knowing how we should feel or act when we are faced with emotional situations.

Sometimes we need to learn to "fake it till we make it." What is asked of us is to act the part until the part becomes us.

We may not know how to feel anticipation around holidays - but we want to experience joy. We may not know what it feels like to really trust someone, but we would love to be in that position. What we can learn to do is "act as if" - working all the time to liberate the frozen emotions of years gone by - until we actually do experience what we seek.

Like new shoes, my new behaviors and feelings will feel stiff and uncomfortable for a little while. I am willing to live through the "breaking in" period.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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September 22

If there's a harder way of doing something, someone will find it.
-- Ralph E. Ross

When we used alcohol or other drugs, we did most things the hard way. We could turn a simple task into a day-long project. We could turn a simple problem into an argument. We were creative giants in doing things the hard way!

We need to change this. We deserve easier lives. It's okay to take the smooth road. In our program, we have slogans for this: Keep It Simple, Let Go and Let God, First Things First, and Easy Does It. These slogans remind us that it's okay to live with as little trouble as possible.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, show me how to live a simple life. I don't have to do everything the hard way if I listen better to You.

Action for the Day

I'll list three or four things I do that make my life harder than it needs to be. I'll share them with a friend.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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September 23

I believe that every single event in life happens as an opportunity to choose love over fear.
--Oprah Winfrey

When our past is strewn with tragic and abusive experiences, it's not easy to recall events as opportunities to love. Yet today we are safe, and we have come to believe a Higher Power has been watching over us every moment. Through the principles of this program, we are learning to forgive and to trust that we will always be cared for.

We cannot change the past. What happened and how we responded helped carry us to this point in our journey. We can cultivate love, now, for the present. The people who care for us will support us. The experiences designed for our progress will come to us. Our Higher Power will never leave our side. We can be free of fear today, if that's our wish.

I will not fear the events in my life today. I am ready for them. They need my involvement.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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September 24

About the time I wish I were dead, something falls in my path about which I make a difference. Then I figure God was saving me for that.
--Janice Clark

Not everybody has the easy faith that Janice has, but perhaps we could all cultivate it. They say it's never too late to make a friend of God who's been waiting in the wings all along. But some may question this point, particularly if they have lived long without attending to their spiritual side. Indeed, it's not a requirement. However, those who have sought the counsel of a Higher Spirit have found comfort in the knowledge that they are never alone.

One of the plusses of believing in God is knowing that we don't have to handle any situation that occurs without guidance. We never have to have all the answers. We never have to have any of them, in fact. All we have to do is seek them from the only Source that really has them.

If we haven't allowed our lives to be this easy up to now, let's give this process a chance. There's no reason to keep struggling with the circumstances that happen to us.

I will acknowledge the rightness of whatever comes my way today.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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September 25

A thousand eyes, but none with correct vision.
--Isacher Hurwitz

William Shakespeare referred to envy as the "green sickness." There are only losers in the game of envy. When we envy someone else, we have judged ourselves and found something lacking.

Lack of self-love is the soil in which envy grows. Envious people are never satisfied. Self-pity is never sitting far from envy. We feel sorry for ourselves for what we don't have. Self-pity is like a swamp, the longer we stand in the muck, the more we stink.

Concentrating on what we do have is the perfect antidote for envy. Every one of us has our own special gifts and talents. We find these by looking at ourselves instead of looking at others. By becoming grateful for what we have, we can rejoice in ourselves.

Today let me be grateful for what I have.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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September 26

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
--D. H. Lawrence

Sometimes when we feel sorry for ourselves we will sit alone in our bedroom. We may even feel so down in the dumps that we decide to stay there, indulging in self-pity, thinking about how the world is against us.

However, if we use our imagination to step outside our own point of view for a moment, we might think differently. If we were deer in the forest, we would be thinking about keeping safe from the wolves, and where our next meal would be coming from.

The animals have no time to feel sorry for themselves, they are too busy doing what has to be done to survive, and each thing that happens presents a new survival problem to be solved.

When we feel blue, it helps to keep this in mind. If we have the time to feel down, and can get physically comfortable while doing it, how bad can the problem really be?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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September 27

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
-- Chinese Proverb

With all the negativity that surrounds us, it is easy to become overwhelmed. It is also tempting to fight against the negative or to declare war on it. Yet a master teacher offered a better way: "Resist not evil, but overcome evil with good."

Imagine you are in a dark room. Wanting the darkness to leave, you curse and fight against it. But no matter how much effort you make, the darkness remains. Turn on the light switch, however, and the night vanishes in an instant.

In a similar manner, when the light of truth is shed on a situation, fear and disharmony dissolve. When you send out a positive thought to another person or take a constructive action, an enormous amount of good is accomplished. Each good act begets another until a network of love and light is created.

The purpose of life is to reflect this light into places that are dark. Let your light shine and stay focused on the power of love. When enough of us have turned on our spiritual light switches, the earth will become as bright as a shining star. Where, then, could darkness dwell?

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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September 28

All the arts we practice are apprenticeship. The big art is our life.
--M. C. Richards

What you do for a living is not who you are. You are more, much more, than that.

It's easy to get so caught up in what we do that we're only identifying ourselves through our daily tasks. I am a mechanic. I am a parking lot attendant. I am a doctor. I am a dishwasher. When we link ourselves too closely to our jobs, we deny ourselves the chance to ever be anything else.

God gave us the power to change. You're more than what you do. You're a vital vibrant soul that came here to experience, grow, and change. Make a masterpiece out of your life.

God, help me realize the glory of my soul. Thank you for my mortality and for the ability to learn and grow.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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September 29

One day at a time.

*****
You've got to give time, time.

*****
Insanity:
Doing exactly the same thing over and over,
expecting different results.

*****
The Serenity Prayer is the handrail to grab
until you can work the Steps.

You are reading from the book:

My Mind Is Out to Get Me by Dr. Ron B.

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September 30

There is no such thing as "best" in the world of individuals.
--Hosea Bellou

We live in a society driven by the concept of competition. "We are Number One" is drummed in our ears daily via advertising and sporting events. The message is that we must be or must have something "better than" if we have any sense of pride at all. Failure is the only other option.

But human behavior can't be judged according to this kind of rating system. How could we ever determine who is the best listener, the most insightful or compassionate? At any given moment, the best for us may not be the best for someone else. If it goes right to the heart, a simple word spoken at a meeting is the best word. If someone we hardly know nods and smiles from across the room, that smile is the best smile for us, here and now. The extended hand, the brief word of encouragement, will never be proclaimed "Number One" on television, never be memorialized in record books as better than the support someone else got, but for us, it's the best.

I am surrounded by a multitude of blessings. I need look no further for what I need.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty