Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2017

[bluidkiti]

January 30

Quote of the Week

“Reality is always so much kinder than the story I tell myself about it.”

When I was drinking, and my life was unraveling, what was even worse than what was happening was the story I told myself about it. To start with, I thought most people hated me – almost as much as I hated myself – but I found out later they just felt bad for me and wished I would recover. I also thought I had ruined my career and would never be hired again. And as far as ever having a relationship, the story I painted proved that I would be alone forever. At the end of my drinking, the reality of my life seemed quite dark indeed.

When I entered recovery, I brought my dark stories with me. As I laid in bed at night, I was consumed with negative thoughts about the damage I had done, and felt for sure I had done irreparable harm. I constantly obsessed about my health and worried I had cancer or some other horrible disease. I feared my financial wreckage and could feel the IRS and banks closing in. When I shared these stories with my sponsor, he simply told me to look at my feet. “My feet?!” I cried incredulously. He said, “Right here in today’s reality, are you O.K.?” I admitted I was. “Then if you stay in today and out of your head, one day at a time, you will always be fine.”

It wasn’t always easy to stay in today – and I still struggle with it sometimes – but when I do, I find the reality of my life is much different than the stories I tell myself about it. In reality, I have not only everything I need to be happy, joyous and free, but I have more than I could ask for.

Today I have a God of my own understanding that continues to perform miracles in my life. I am surrounded by a caring fellowship that is loving and supportive. Today I have the awareness to know that the reality of my life is much better than any story I can make up about it.

And for this, I am eternally grateful.