Today's Thought - October

[bluidkiti]

October 16

Self-Help or Mutual Aid?
Assisting Others

The Twelve Step movement is sometimes called a self-help program. This falls short of describing what it really is. Mutual aid might be a better term.

Self-help implies that an individual will help himself or herself. Mutual aid is a much different sort of thing. With mutual aid, we do help ourselves, but we have found that the best way to do this is by helping each other. Self-help says, "I can do it," whereas mutual aid says, "We can do it."

We should not dismiss the idea of self-help or of doing one's best in achieving self-improvement. We must know, however, that we need the assistance and loving help of others for our highest growth. There are times when we will feel helpless and alone. That's when mutual aid will carry the day for us and perhaps even save our lives.

I'll realize today that I have a bond with others, and that I can achieve my highest good only in mutual service with them.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

[bluidkiti]

October 17

Reflection for the Day

"When a man has reached a condition in which he believes that a thing must happen when he does not wish it, and that what he wishes to happen never will be, this is really the state called desperation," wrote Arthur Schopenhauer. The very real pain of emotional difficulties is sometimes very hard to take while we're trying to maintain sobriety. Yet we learn, in time, that overcoming such problems is the real test of the Program's way of living. Do I believe that adversity gives me more opportunity to grow than does comfort or success?

Today I Pray

May I believe firmly that God, in God's infinite wisdom, does not send me those occasional moments of emotional stress in order to tease my sobriety, but to challenge me to grow in my control and my conviction. May I learn not to be afraid of emotional summits and canyons for the Program has outfitted me for all kinds of terrain.

Today I will remember strength through adversity.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

October 18

The feeling of belonging is a gift.

The feeling of belonging - knowing that we have a place - is one of the most important gifts that two partners can give to each other. When we agree to commit ourselves to a partnership, we give each other the key to our daily lives. We allow our mate to be there with us in a way we would not let others. That means that we can expect to have a place that does not have to be renegotiated every day. This feeling of belonging is a gift, but it must be received. In essence, we say to our partner, "I take my place here in your life because we have our relationship. I will relax. I don't stand at the door and knock. We have already told each other that we are included in each other's lives."

This sense of belonging stands in sharp contrast to those feelings of isolation and alienation that we can feel in so many ways. It does not mean that one partner owns the other or that no boundary or separateness exists. But the joy of connection frees people in relationships to fulfill themselves and carry on their lives while in the close comfort of one they love.

Tell your partner how you know you have a place in her or his life.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

[bluidkiti]

October 19

It's easy to look at all the tasks and unsolved problems and feel so pressured that we get paralyzed and don't get anything done. It takes discipline to gather in our scattered forces and focus on one thing, one day, one step, and sometimes one hour – even when taking only that one step can seem so trivial in the face of all that looms.

Inventory Focus:
Are you creating unnecessary fear and drama by taking on more than you handle? Are you willing to trade in the I'm-out-of-control-and-overwhelmed feeling for a sense of manageability? Do you have any history with deliberately living life one day or one step at a time? How did that work?

Plans, goals, and dreams are good, but the only way to get there is one day at a time.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

[bluidkiti]

October 20

Self-Seeking Slips Away

Today, God, help me remember that not everything is about me.

When I was using, thinking of myself was my whole existence. With abstinence, I began to practice understanding, humility, gratitude, caring, and sharing with others.

By having faith in our Program's recovery Steps and their other-centeredness focus, I am reminded that I am a person who truly needs other people.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

[bluidkiti]

October 21

This Mouse must give up one of the Mouse ways of seeing things in order that he may grow.
--Hyemeyohsts Storm

There is an American Indian tale of a mouse who heard a roaring in his ears and set out to discover what it was. He encountered many animals who helped him on his way. Finally, the mouse had a chance to offer help to another. He gave away his eyes to help two other animals.

Without his sight, defenseless, he waited for the end. Soon he heard the sound eagles make when they dive for their prey. The next thing the mouse knew, he was flying. He could see all the splendor around him. Then he heard a voice say, "You have a new name. You are Eagle."

Like the mouse, we also feel something inside us we'd like to explore. That secret, like all others, has its answer hidden deep within us, yet right under our very nose. Often, we merely have to give up our eyes and see in a different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision, one that lets us discover our true potential.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

October 22

When one knows Thee, then alien there is none, then no door is shut. Oh, grant me my prayer that I may never lose the touch of the one in the play of many.
--Rabindranath Tagore

When we make a person-to-person telephone call, we want to be connected with one particular person. If that person is not in, we make no connection.

Are we taking time to make person-to-person connections? Or are we seeking situations with groups of people so we don't have to be open and honest with just one person? We all need at least one person with whom to share confidences, laughter, tears, hugs, plans, and dreams. If we don't have this special person, we are like one bird in a nest: safe and warm, but isolated and alone.

We can attend a meeting every night and still be isolated and alone. Being around people doesn't necessarily mean we're making connections with them. To truly share ourselves, we need to open the doors to our lives and let at least one person in. Just one person can make the difference between isolation and connection.

I need to connect with a special friend. How can I open the door to this one person?

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

[bluidkiti]

Ocotber 23

I'm Not Ashamed

My child dreamed of becoming a firefighter, a fisherman, and a marine biologist when he grew up. Becoming an addict was not on his list. I know the child who dreamed those dreams and he is a child to be proud of. Tender and thoughtful and smart, he should be living his dreams. But my child isn't here-an addict has taken his place. Someone who looks like my child is hooked to the strings of an evil puppeteer and living a tortured life. Instead of fighting fires, my child is fighting demons. Instead of tying flies, he's flying high. Instead of reaching for the stars, he's reaching for a bottle. A life full of promise lost to a jug full of lies. Addiction took my child's dreams, chewed them up, and spat out a nightmare.

No, my child didn't dream of becoming an addict, and it certainly wasn't what I dreamed for him either. But I'm not ashamed my child is an addict. I'm sad he's an addict. By shining the light on addiction, I might just get him back.

Shame is a soul-eating emotion.
Carl Jung

You are reading from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

[bluidkiti]

October 24

True expressions of love are said to come from a source which lies beneath words and thoughts.
--W. Timothy Gallwey

Remember when we just knew Grandmother loved us, even if she didn't say anything? Her smile or hug said it all. We can always feel another's love - when it's real.

Likewise, the words of love, when they come from a heart that's cold, don't ring true to our ears. We hear them, but our hearts can't feel them. So the gulf between us widens and we remain two lonely people.

Feeling true love for another may be foreign to us, and we may have to practice thinking loving thoughts and saying loving words to become familiar with the feelings love engenders. But real love lies deep within our center and only awaits our knowledge of it.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

October 25

Reflection for the Day

We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, and of our surroundings - that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can really choose. As addictive persons, we lost our ability to choose whether we would pursue our addictions. Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. Do I believe that in "becoming willing," I have made the best of all choices?

Today I Pray

May I shed the idea that I am the world's victim, an unfortunate creature caught in a web of circumstance, inferring that others ought to "make it up to me" because I have been given a bad deal on this earth. We are always given choices. May God help me to choose wisely.

Today I Will Remember

God is not a puppeteer.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

October 26

Aging is not easy, but what's our alternative?
- Helen Casey

The kind of attitude we developed over our lives determined how we saw every detail of each experience. Even now our attitude holds us hostage. The misunderstanding that many of us have is that we think we can't really change how we see our world. Nothing is further from the truth. We can make a large or small shift in our perceptions instantly. The outcome is that everything about our lives changes from that moment forward. Thus, how we perceive the aging process is controlled by our willingness to look at it again.

Helen has aged gracefully. At 86, she still finds time for making new friends, three bridge clubs a week, daily mass and frequent communication with her children and relatives. She carries a positive, hopeful attitude with her wherever she goes, which inspires others, young and old.

It wouldn't appear that aging has been hard on Helen. But the truth of the matter is that she has suffered many losses. What she has managed to hold onto, though, is her faith in God and her willingness to see every "glass as half full."

How lucky we are that we can "tinker" with our attitude for as long as we're alive, and if we aren't completely happy, we have work to do. As Helen says, there is no alternative to aging, except death. What happens now is up to us.

I am only as old as I decide to feel today.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

October 27

You have to live on this 24 hours of daily time. Out of it you have to spin health, pleasure, money, content, respect, and the evolution of your mortal soul. Its right use, its most effective use, is a matter of highest urgency.
--Arnold Bennett

We have 24 hours to accomplish all we need tor mental, physical, and spiritual growth. Just because morning meditations have been read, the work or school day is completed, and the day is waning doesn't mean growth time is over.

The first 12 hours of a day are usually spent housecleaning, raising children, working, running errands, and so on. By the time the activities have ended, we're ready for the second 12 hours: contemplation, relaxation, communication with family and friends, socializing, eating dinner, going to a meeting, sleeping.

Our most effective use of each day means believing we can accomplish something. There is time to be grateful for each day's experiences. There is time to build relationships with ourselves and others. Each day there is time to grow.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

[bluidkiti]

October 28

Developing ourselves

We must realize in our hearts that we are becoming better people. We do this by using our highest standards and making our best efforts. We do this, in part, by turning our lives over to God, who will guide us if we sincerely ask.

As we develop, we find we're offering much more to life than just avoiding mood-altering drugs. We are coming to love others and to help them by thinking, feeling, and behaving maturely in all situations.

Am I developing into a better person?

Higher Power, help me realize that my new life is not just about changing my past but about developing my future as well.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

October 29

Being able to be wrong

We had to compete with everyone, sometimes subtly, sometimes less subtly. We always had to be right, to be wrong seemed unbearable. We could never seem to bring ourselves to say simply, "I was wrong." We were afraid of what would happen to us if we did. Our egos were very fragile; we were never as strong as we had led ourselves to believe.

We came to discover, however, that real strength comes from being able to be wrong and from being willing to change our ways of thinking and living.

Can I face being wrong and learn from it?

Higher Power, help me realize each day that it is okay to be wrong, that real communication with other people depends on my being willing to see other points of view, and that being teachable is a divine quality.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

October 30

Willing to Make Amends

The Eighth Step is talking about a change of heart, a healing change.

This attitude can begin a great chain of repair and healing in our relationships with others and ourselves. It means we become willing to let go of our hard heartedness - one of the greatest blocks to our ability to give and receive love.

In the Eighth Step, we make a list of all people we have harmed, and we allow ourselves to experience a healing attitude toward them. It is an attitude of love.

We do not, in this Step, dash madly about and begin yelling, "Sorry!" We make our list, not to feel guilty, but to facilitate healing. Before we actually make amends or begin to consider appropriate amends, we allow ourselves to change our attitude. That is where healing begins - within us.

It can change the energy. It can change the dynamics. It can begin the process, before we ever open our mouths and say sorry.

It opens the door to love. It opens the door to the energy of love and healing. It enables us to release negative feelings and energy, and opens the door to positive feelings and energy.

That energy can be felt around the world, and it starts inside us.

How often have we, after we have been hurt, wished that the person would simply recognize our pain and say, "I'm sorry?" How often have we wished that the person would simply see us, hear us, and turn the energy of love our way? How often have we longed for at least a change of heart, a small dose of reconciliation, in relationships tainted by unfinished business and bad feelings? Often, others do too. It is no secret. The energy of healing begins with us. Our willingness to make amends may or may not benefit the other person; he or she may or may not be willing to put matters to rest.

But we become healed. We become capable of love.

Today, I will work on a change of heart if hard-heartedness, defensiveness, guilt, or bitterness are present. I will become willing to let go of those feelings and have them replaced by the healing energy of love.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie