One Day At A Time - December

[yukonm]

December 16

COURAGE

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."
Raymond Linquist
(For many years, the pastor at the
Hollywood Presbyterian Church in Hollywood, California)



A sponsor once asked me what I had against feeling good. I had no answer. I now see that in my sickness and ignorance I hung onto the familiar, what I perceived to be truth. Fear kept me from trying something new until I hurt bad enough to beg God for the courage to try a different way. I am amazed at how long I put up with a miserable existence, not even recognizing my fear of change. I understand now that, although physically full-grown, I am spiritually still growing and becoming.


One Day at a Time . . .
Do I have the courage to change? To even look at change?

Jeremiah

[yukonm]

December 17

PEACE

"We cannot find peace if we are
afraid of the windstorms of life."
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
(Psychiatrist and author of 'On Death and Dying')



My life always seemed so filled with difficulty. I seemed to have more than my fair share of traumas and losses. Why was I always being tested like this? It just didn't seem fair. I was so wrapped up in myself and the unfairness of my difficult life that I couldn't see that each of these harsh experiences had been opportunities for growth. Instead of bemoaning my fate and blaming people or situations for what seemed to me to be the cause of the current difficulty, I never looked at what part I had played in the whole situation, or the lessons I could learn from each of these experiences.

It has often been said that God doesn't give us more than we can cope with. What I realized later, once I'd come into the program, was that each of these experiences had been a unique learning opportunity for me; they were a chance to grow and mature. I had been too stuck in self-pity and blame that I hadn't seen the wonderful gifts that I was being given with each new life experience. When I was able to open myself up fully to the lessons that I could learn from life, I became a whole person. It was then that the promises of the program begin to be fulfilled in my life, and I began to know serenity and peace.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will look for what lesson my Higher Power wants me to learn from life. I am then able to grow and change, and by doing so, I will come to know serenity and peace.

Sharon S.

[Rockinbigdaddy]

Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it's silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it's how we show love for ourselves. That's what we're striving for in recovery — a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can have loving relationships with others that work.

When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better. When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe. Without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us.

We rest when we're tired; eat when we're hungry; have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift. Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts — a trip to the beauty salon or barber shop, a massage, a book, a new jacket, or a new suit or dress. It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good.

We learn to be gentle with ourselves and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us.

As part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch — touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe. We reject touch that doesn't feel good or safe and is not positive.

We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self-centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.

We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us

[yukonm]

December 18

ACTION

"You learn to speak by speaking,
to study by studying,
to run by running,
to work by working;
in just the same way,
you learn to love by loving."

St. Francis De Sales
(1567 - 1622)
(in French, St François de Sales)
Bishop of Geneva, Switzerland and a Roman Catholic saint.



St. Francis de Sales lived from 1567 to 1622. Isn't it amazing that a man who lived over 300 years before the birth of our recovery program could encapsulate its meaning in the above quote? Put another way, what St. Francis was saying was, "You work the program by working the program."

I've met so many people who had theoretical knowledge of recovery, but no practical experience. They don't work the program; they just talk the talk without walking the walk. I'm not proud to admit that I've been one of those people myself.

It's a wonderful feeling to actually work the program, to take the Steps, and to trust in the God of my understanding to keep me working it. Paying lip service to the program doesn't bring recovery; only working it does. Anything else is a waste of time and energy.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will work the program by working the program; today, I'll take action to bring about my recovery.

Jeff

[yukonm]

December 19

JOY

"The way to do is to be."
Lao Tzu
(or 'Old Sage' -- born Li Erh)
Sixth century B.C. philosopher who began the philosophy of Taoism



It is not until we can let ourselves be who we really are that we can recognize who we REALLY are!

In recovery I have learned it is by embracing myself as I am today that I will become increasingly aware of my true identity. It is not by denial or pretended "goodness" that the Truth is revealed, but by acceptance and humility. This is one of the many gifts of recovery ... we no longer have to "wait until."

This program tells us we can be happy and free now. HERE AND NOW! But, my ego-mind gives me a different message. It says, "You can be happy, joyous and free when you lose the weight, get your health back, get that job, marry that prince, receive the next degree, and on and on. In other words, "You must wait and wait and wait, and maybe someday you'll be good enough. Then you can be happy." Our ego keeps us in pursuit of the elusive happiness it promises.

One Day at a Time . . .
I choose to be happy; I choose joy.

Patt

[yukonm]

December 20

~ SPIRITUALITY VS RELIGION ~

Religion is a way for people to get to heaven, and
Spirituality is a way for people to get out of hell.

Anonymous Twelve Stepper



I was raised in a home that was strongly religious. All of its standards and rules were based on religion, and on the standards of a rigid God Who is perfect, and Who calls His followers to be perfect. My mother is a person who seemed to find her mission in life by telling people how far they fell short of that perfection. I learned very early that I did not and would never measure up; that being part of religion meant accepting my inability to excel at its tenets.

But when I came into this program, I began to learn about spirtuality. I learned about God from people who were not perfect, and who could accept themselves as they are. I learned about mercy and forgiveness from people with different faiths than my own; I learned about trusting God from people who did not even believe in a Supreme Being. What I learned has put "flesh" on the words of the Scriptures that I learned as a child. It has put life into my faith, for the first time, and it has helped me learn that I am worthwhile and acceptable just as I am.

One Day at a Time . . .
I give my life into the keeping of the God of my understanding, and know that my best is the least, and the most, that He expects from me.

Donna

[yukonm]

December 21

BABY STEPS

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble."

Helen Keller
(born Helen Adams Keller (1880 – 1968)
American author, activist and lecturer
and the first deafblind person to graduate from college).



From as far back as I can remember, I believed that, in order to be worthy or loved, I had to achieve great things. It didn't matter what it was but I set out to be the best at whatever I did, hoping that would make me feel better. Whether it was academic or one of the many diets or diet clubs I tried, it was the same story, and failure was totally unacceptable. Delayed gratification was definitely not part of my vocabulary, and so things had to be done or achieved in record time. If I wanted something done, it had to be done today, if not yesterday. Everything I did was done compulsively. I was, as one person in a meeting described, a "human doing," not a "human being".

Of course the things I could never really achieve were permanent weight loss and the serenity that comes with recovery. These seemed to elude me when I first came into the program, mainly because I expected to do it perfectly and in a very short time. After all, I had lost weight before, and quickly too. I had to realize that recovery is not a race, that this is a journey, not a destination. I don't have to do it all in one day, nor do I have to be the best at it. All I need to do is to take baby steps, one day at a time, and I will recover as God wills me to do. I just need to put one foot in front of the other and do what is before me. Recovery is cumulative and I build on it, day by day.

One Day at a Time . . .
I do the footwork and put my trust in my Higher Power, believing that, as I do what I need to do for today, God's healing power will come to me in the form of recovery.

Sharon S.

[yukonm]

December 22

~ RISING ABOVE ~

Our greatest glory is not in never failing,
but in rising up every time we fail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson



One of the major premises of our recovery program is "progress, not perfection." No one but me expects me to be perfect. I have a history of driving myself in the quest for perfection. I've set goals that are so lofty that I could never acheive them. In that respect, I'm probably my own worst enemy.

However, I can also be my own best friend. I don't have to set standards that are impossible for me to meet. In fact, we're told we need to live one day at a time. If I can do that, then I don't need to live up to my impossibly high standards. My goals aren't so out-of-reach if I can see them as daily things.

What happens if I fail to meet even the "one day at a time" goal? I start over, knowing that I don't have to stay down. I can rise up and begin again. That, for me, is the greatest thing.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will rise above my failures and shortcomings, and know that I'm making progress. I don't have to be perfect any more.

Jeff

[yukonm]

December 23

~ FEAR ~

When thinking won't cure fear, action will.

W. Clement Stone



When I first came into the program, I was told that I couldn't think my way into positive actions, but I could act my way into positive thinking. I learned that this was a simple program of action; that if I wanted what you had, I had to do what you did. None of these clichés made any sense to me; I would have to think these over. The nerve of these people telling me that they would do my thinking for me, that all I had to do was follow directions! They prodded and badgered me into working the Steps out of real love and knowledge of truth. I realize now that my actions demonstrated to God my desire to change, and He gave me the courage to try living another way. Most importantly, though, He gave me you.

One Day at a Time . . .
Am I going to "keep on the firing line" or rest on my laurels?

Jeremiah

[yukonm]

December 24

REGRET

“Regret is an appalling waste of energy;
you can't build on it;
it’s only good for wallowing in.”

Katherine Mansfield



Before I came into the program, I allowed fear to rule my life and prevent me from trying new things. I was absent from my own life. I was emotionally unavailable to my children and I stayed stuck in a deep hole of self-pity. I never really heard beautiful music or gloried in the miracles of nature. Although I had what people might perceive as a pretty normal life, it was actually an empty shell and I merely existed. I feel so saddened now at the thought of all the wasted years. I cannot bring them back, but I can learn from them.

When I came into the program and read the Promises in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, I realized that it was futile to regret the past or to shut the door on it. Those years and all the pain I went through are what made me the person I am today. I need to always remember where I came from, because if I don't, I can just as easily go back there. I can also use my experience to help others on this wonderful road to recovery. I am able to give away what has been given to me so freely, because it’s only then that I can keep what I have.

One Day at a Time . . .
I must always remember where I came from so that I can help others in this program of recovery and keep myself from going back into the patterns of my past.

Sharon S.

[yukonm]

December 25

HOLIDAYS
May peace be more than a holiday;
May love be more than a season;
May the feelings deep inside transcend the calendar;
And, instead, become a way of life.

Anonymous



It is the time of Hanukkah ... of Christmas ... of Kwanzaa ... and other holidays. It is the time when the world is at its best and the hearts of all seem to be brimming with love.

It is also the time of year that my very soul finds the most difficult. My physical and emotional recovery is compromised, and memories occupy every cell in my body, causing this vulnerable addict tremendous turmoil.

These holy days test the gifts of that enigma which is my Higher Power ... the God Of My Understanding ... and when these days are over and normality returns, I smile at having once again made it through the holidays intact.


One Day at a Time . . .
I acknowledge that in my Higher Power
I have a love that can never be fathomed,
A spiritual resource that can never be exhausted,
A peace that can never be understood,
A rest that can never be disturbed,
A joy that can never be diminished,
A hope that can never be disappointed,
A glory that can never be clouded,
A light that can never be darkened,
And a life that can never die ...
Even on holidays.


~ Mari ~

[yukonm]

December 26

~VISION~

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile
the moment a single man contemplates it,
bearing within him the image of a cathedral.

Antoine De Saint-Exupery



It never ceases to amaze me how the disease of compulsive overeating distorts the vision. Some compulsive overeaters can look into a mirror and see a fat person where there is none. Others can look into the same mirror and not see the weight that is there.

Recovery brings new eyes to the compulsive overeater. It lets us to see what's really there in the mirror. Recovery allows each of us to see the cathedral we really are, rather than the pile of rubble we think we see. Recovery corrects our vision.

One Day at a Time . . .
As I work my recovery program, I will see myself as I really am, rather than seeing what the disease shows me.

Jeff

[yukonm]

December 27

~ JOY~

Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch which
I have got hold of for the moment, and
want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.

George Bernard Shaw



For many years my life was filled with pain and I felt totally empty inside. I did what I had to do for my children and for the people around me, but with a heavy heart, and life seemed to be one endless day after the other. What had happened to all the dreams and hopes I had for a life filled with joy and happiness? Sometimes the pain got to be so great that life just didn't seem to be worthwhile any more. At times I even contemplated ending my life. I have often heard it said that the opposite of pain is joy but in those dark days, I certainly couldn't see that.

It is only in recovery that I see that the pain had a meaning, and it has brought me to a great appreciation of all the miracles in my life. I can appreciate the beauty in nature, and for the first time in a very long time my soul is filled with joy. When I listen to Beethoven's glorious Ninth Symphony with its last movement, the choral piece set to the poet Schiller's "Ode to Joy", I begin to realize that one can create something truly wondrous out of one's pain and suffering. Beethoven wrote this magnificent work shortly before his death, when he was in tremendous emotional pain and totally deaf. Yet he created this truly amazing piece of music that lives on nearly 200 years after his death, and will probably do so for many years to come.

I now realize that there was a reason for my suffering and if, out of that, I can bring some joy or happiness to others, then my life will have had some purpose. It is only through this fellowship that I have been able to see that.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will always remember that my pain has been a growing experience that enables me to share what I have learned with other fellow sufferers. I can now appreciate all the miracles that my Higher Power performs in my life, and I am now truly able to experience joy.

Sharon S.

[yukonm]

December 28

~MEDITATION~

God is the mirror of silence
in which all creation is reflected.

Paramahansa Yogananda



The disease of compulsive overeating is a devious one. It tries to tell me that I'm not a worthwhile person. It tries to tell me that I'm never going to recover, so I may as well eat. The disease tries to make me feel like I'm the lowest of the low.

Fortunately, there are many things in this recovery program that counteract the disease. I can use a food plan to make sure I don't eat what I'm not supposed to eat. I can read program literature to show me how to live triumphantly. I can work the Steps, do service, make outreach calls; there's so much I can do which can bring recovery from compulsive overeating.

Another of the things I can do to counteract my disease is meditation. When I meditate, I come into conscious contact with my Higher Power. Meditation helps me to see that I am a worthwhile person, that God loves me just as I am. When I meditate I gain insights into the program literature I'm reading, I learn the things I need to do to further my recovery. I also learn the things that stifle my growth, so I can stop doing them. Meditation is very important to my recovery program.

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember the importance of meditation, and I meditate every day.

Jeff

[yukonm]

December 29

~GRATITUDE FOR ADVERSITY ~

He was my greatest teacher.
He taught me patience.

The Dalai Lama on Mao Tse Tung



Whenever I feel downtrodden or disappointed by the hand that life has dealt me, I often think of this quote. It moves me beyond speech. Here was a man who had lost his homeland to communist China, yet he still had a good thing to say about the man who started it all. It forces me to come to a realization that what has happened to me is peanuts!

Too often I am caught up with feeling sorry for myself because of my disease, while ignoring the fact that I am so fortunate to have found recovery. Sometimes I feel so poor, yet I live in a large home with a wonderful spouse and delightful pets. I have a car, and enough food to eat every day. I have the luxury of obtaining my degree. Most of all, though I often complain about how unfair it all is, I am even fortunate to have an eating disorder. Because it is through admitting I have a problem that I am beginning to taste recovery, and it is sweeter than any binge item. And it has taught me that it is through our adversities that we learn compassion and patience.

I have to realize that life just isn't fair. If it were, how boring it would be! Nothing worthwhile is easy to obtain, and that includes recovery. What would it be worth if there was no effort going into it? Sometimes bad things happen, and they are unfortunate. But that's the end of it. I cannot make things be the way I want them to be. I cannot change life. I must accept life on life's terms, and learn the art of patience, so well demonstrated by the above quote. How fortunate that I have the opportunity to learn these precious skills in the safety and security of my own home, with my wonderful friends, spouse, and my program family!

One Day at a Time . . .
I will avoid dwelling on the misery that accompanies hardship. I will develop the willingness to be grateful for the opportunity for me to learn compassion and patience.

Claire