QUESTIONS???

[MajestyJo]

Why don't I leave?

This is probably one of the easiest questions for me to came along in a while.

Simple I don't leave because I love him.

Yes he may be an addict and had his problems but he is trying very hard to recover.

But being an addict is not the only thing he is.

He is strong.
He is handsome (great penetrating hazel eyes to die for)
He is a good provider.
He is a good father.
He is a good husband & lover.
He is a confidant.
He gives comfort.
He will go out of his way for me.
He is complex and thought provoking.
He has his quirks , just as I have mine.
He accepts me for who I am.
He is undemanding of me.
He loves me right back.

But the main reason I stay he is my friend and my soulmate, and I love him.

This is a post by a friend in response to a newcomer who asked the question "Why can't I leave him." I didn't leave because I thought my son needed a father. I later came to realize my son didn't like him much and grew to hate him as my ex-husband's disease escalated into abuse. Most times it was directed at me, but it got to a stage there was going to be a fist-a-cuff and that wasn't an option, so I kicked him out of the apartment. He complained when I spent money on food, it was beer money. When he left I had 50 cents in my purse and a half jar of peanut butter. There never seemed to be a right time to ask him to leave, so I did it and trust God to provide. I shared with my friend who was a bartender at the Royal Canadian Legion. Her husband who was past-president of the Legion came to me and gave me a $50. cheque to see me through until I could get hold of Mother's Allowance on Monday. I tried to be a buffer between him and my son. My son had a lot of anger as a result of that marriage that last 7 years.

I had a lot of anger as a result of the marriage too, a lot of mental and emotional abuse and then it became physical. No woman should stay in that kind of relationship, you deserve better. He killed all the love I had for him. The same thing happened with my first marriage, along with the fact that he was running around with other women and then felt the need to introduce me to them. He was not their the night our son was born, and he moved out when our son was two months old to move in with one of his women. I know that I loved him but the pain was too much and had to do a lot of healing by applying the Steps, then at 15 years sober, I went to sexual assault counselling. My first husband was the first person to rape me. I felt that it was my fault because I wasn't a good wife or woman. I didn't know I had the right to say no to my husband. It was a role I had to play. So many old tapes got in the way, and thanks to the program, I was able to heal and find myself.