Defects of Character

[honeydumplin]

Yesterday after a meeting in which I felt I may have overshared,
fell on the sword, or was quite hard on myself in what I had shared,
I couldn't help but hurt a little inside, and sense a certain vulnerability
for having revealed what was going on. It reminded me of earlier times
in recovery, when such revelations during 12 step meetings, would
shake the core of my being, and also allow a growth in sobriety to occurr.

A few years of recovery has not permitted me the luxury of basking in
the glow of a pedestal, while second-guessing what my peers think of
something stupid that I may have said in a meeting. If that is ever an option,
then I will have taken the chance to experience life beyond my fondest
dreams, and exchanged it for the small bit of uncomfortable satisfaction
I get while sitting silent, in a room full of recovering alcoholics I barely
even know.

Then I would know true pity of a destination, and find it wanting,
in spite of whatever journey I'd convinced myself to be part of.
I believe that our strength of unity comes from a common weakness
of seeking a power greater than ourselves, not in a spew of endless
solutions of how we overcame adversity, in spite of our quest for the
fourth dimension.

I applaud the your humanity, awareness, and depiction of this
dart team that you were on. Stuff like this helps drunks like me.