Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - August

[bluidkiti]

August 2

Step by Step

" ...I had my first drink and I still remember it, for every 'first' drink afterwards did exactly the same trick - I could feel it go right through every bit of my body ...But each drink after the 'first' seemed to become less effective and, after three or four, they all seemed like water. ...(T)he more I drank, the quieter I got, and the drunker I got, the harder I fought to stay sober. ...Even that first night I blacked out, which leads me to believe that I was an alcoholic from my very first drink." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "Personal Stories," Ch 6 ("The Vicious Cycle"), p 241.

Today, grant that I always remember my last drink if I cannot remember my first - for it is the last one that brought me to my knees and set me on my search for something better. Even if I cannot remember the first drink or whether I became alcoholic with my first or 1,000th one, I cannot forget that I was in alcoholism with my last drink. And if I can't remember my last drunk, I might not have had it. Thus, the reason for AA . Regardless of how recently or long ago my last drink was, AA is here to strengthen and guide me from the next drink. Today, I am only as good as the guy whose last drink was yesterday even if mine was a thousand yesterdays ago and, today, I will remember my last drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SELF-CONFIDENCE

Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.

~ Emile Coue ~

If our Program were made up of men and women who kept telling others, and themselves, "I'm no good, I'll never make it," the Program itself could never survive. We win only when we have confidence in our own capabilities and limitations. We sincerely believe that, with a shared feeling of love among members who have a common goal, success is not only possible, but guaranteed.

Years ago, people around the world made fun of the phrase about getting better and better. Despite all the belittlement, that expression of confidence helped many to a more healthful life. It still works. We know that if we do not have faith in our- selves, no one else will. We can always choose to "be our own best friend" rather than "our own worst enemy."

I've heard it said, "we are what we are." Self-confidence in my ability to make spiritual growth can achieve wonders. I am getting better and better.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

~ Lily Tomlin ~

We are on an adult development journey. As we grow healthier, as we take our personal inventories, we develop into the kind of person we can respect and feel good about. From our addictive and codependent times, we know what it was like to feel empty—as if we were nobody. We had an exterior appearance of a whole person, but we were underdeveloped on the inside.

The promises of recovery always come true when we follow the steps toward honesty with ourselves and take responsibility for our actions. We may be assaulted by chaos and craziness around us, but this inner sense of self can never be taken away. And the longer we live in the light of the Twelve Steps and actively follow them, the more we develop this strong sense of self.

Today I will stay on the path because it glides me toward greater development of my self.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

God can work quicker in our lives if God doesn’t have to seek out our hiding place.

~ Jan Pishok ~

What do we gain from wallowing in doubt and hiding from God? Certainly not peace or security. But the pain is familiar. We often hang on to that which we know, regardless of its impact.

In the past, many of us had an attitude, and we nurtured a chip on our shoulder. What a relief to be free of that childish burden! Hiding from God means missing the real gifts of sobriety. Putting alcohol or other drugs aside, but not grasping the hand of God as it comes to us from our friends here, means the torment that triggered our drinking continues to follow close on our heels.

We are learning from our sisters sharing this journey that there’s a far less traumatic way to live. Our assignment is simply to turn to God every day, letting our will and lives be thus guided.

I won’t hide today. I’ll seek God in all my communications with others, and I’ll cherish the peace.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to trust people more

My therapist wants me to join a support group. He wants me to work on trust. But it's hard for me to trust other people (even my therapist). I feel safer when I rely on myself (although that hasn't always worked). I am afraid to trust because I'm afraid I'll get hurt, betrayed, or abandoned like so many times before. How could I ever take part in a group?

And yet maybe now is a good time to take a chance. I am exhausted from trying to handle my emotional and chemical health problems on my own for so long. And deep down, there is loneliness, there is a part of me that truly wants to be around people more. With the support of my therapist, I will give group therapy a chance.

Today I will practice trusting by taking a small risk with a safe person.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I don’t blame my parents. This stuff has been handed down for generations.

~ Seth P. ~

Sometimes, when we begin to get better, we feel anger and frustration with other family members who are not in recovery. We’re often quick to tell them they’d better “get with the program” and start recovering soon.

More often than not, our words fall on deaf ears. It’s one thing to tell someone about the help and resources that are available. It’s another to expect them to instantly understand and seek help for themselves.
Most of us come from families that have struggled with alcoholism or other addictions for generations. It’s no one’s fault. It’s a source of pride, though, that we can be part of the solution, and help break the cycle of intergenerational pain.

With help from our Higher Power, we can let go of unrealistic expectations. We can let our loved ones find recovery at their own pace, in their own time.

We like to carry the message of recovery to others. But it is a message of hope, not a message of blame.

Today I’m grateful to be in recovery, and not trapped in the pattern of addiction or other sickness or pain. I feel a new freedom today.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.

~ Lane Olinghouse ~

You may recall the fable about the wind and the sun, and how they argued about who was stronger. One day they saw a man clad in an overcoat walking down a path. The wind bragged it was so strong it could remove the man’s coat. So it blew powerful gusts, but the man clutched his coat tighter. Then the sun had its turn. It began to beam its rays down on the man. The man grew warm in the sun’s heat and removed his overcoat.

One can easily believe the sun is the winner. Yet there is another way to look at this story. When you see it as one that symbolizes the power to resist temptation, both the wind and the sun become temptation. One surrounds the man with frightening energy; the other merely lets its presence be known.

Before you came into the program, your habit was like the sun—it did nothing more than offer itself to you, and you succumbed to its power. But in recovery, temptation is like the strong wind. It will always be swirling about you, striving to force you to yield to its power. Even though the winds of temptation will continually challenge you, take heart. You are much stronger than you think.

I will resist temptation today because I am strong. I am more powerful than any temptation.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.

~ Arthur Somers Roche ~

A trickle of water that drains down the side of a hill poses no problem to the hill, its vegetation, or the people living in the valley. But if that trickle grows into a stream, the water will erode a path, carrying along plants, rocks, and soil, endangering the lives and property of the people in the valley.

When a worry nags us, it is like that trickle. It poses little threat to us and can be stopped at any time because it is so small. But if we let more worrisome thoughts feed into the stream, we will allow it to grow until all of our thoughts and energy are focused on one worry that has attained great power.

We all have things we worry about. But we don't have to give these worries more than passing acknowledgment. The trickles that run through our minds are okay to have. But to keep them at that size, we need to remember what is important to us at this very moment. We don't need to let the worries grow.

I have worries just like everyone else. However, I don't have to dwell upon my worries or make them any bigger than what they are.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Developing spiritually

We read in the Big Book that no human power could have relieved our addiction— not ourselves, our spouse, the law, clergy, counselors, or friends. Through trial and error and many failures, we come to know that another human being is not the way. To recover, we need a spiritual program based on a power greater than ourselves.

To recover, we need a spiritual life, as developed by the fellowship and the Twelve Steps.

Am I growing spiritually?

Higher Power, help me to see the importance of developing a spiritual life.

I will work on my spiritual program today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

As one goes through life one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move.

~ KATHARINE HEPBURN ~

Newcomer

I appreciate the fact that you remain friendly and even-tempered even though I don't always follow your advice.

Sponsor

Friends can disagree without having to end their relationship. I might have trouble sponsoring someone who never attends meetings, someone who has frequent relapses, or someone who complains about his or her problems without ever being willing to attempt the Steps. But occasional disagreements are a part of life.

A sponsor's suggestions aren't commands, any more than the Twelve Steps are. As a sponsor, I only make suggestions; even though they're based on my experience, I'm not always right about what will work for another person. And I may misjudge what another person's timetable is. I'm not infallible. I try not to let my ego get in the way, to feel hurt or angry when you need to try something on your own. Learning to make your own decisions is necessary to growth.

Each of us makes his or her own way through the process of recovery. We learn more from our own experiences, good and bad, than from anything we read in a book or hear at a meeting.

Today, I learn from my experience.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The very basis of AA is kindness to the suffering alcoholic, but the question often arises as to what is the kind thing to do. Sometimes we have to do things that might be considered cruel in order to be kind.

There are occasions when it is an act of kindness to have a man locked up if he is apt to hurt himself or others. Sometimes drastic steps have to be taken to prevent a man from driving his car when he is drunk. Occasionally it might be the best thing for a. man if his boss should fire him or if his family left him.

We are frequently called upon for this kind of advice. Who are we to decide such issues? God has the answer and it is best to turn the query over to Him.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Am Thankful For . . .

God, I am thankful for the people to whom I can relate in all situations.
I am grateful for all of them—
For those called "family" who provide community,
For those called "sponsors" who give guidance,
For those called "enemies" who help me see my faults,
For those called "colleagues" who share responsibility,
For those called "teachers" who instruct me,
For those called "helpers" who enable me to seek help,
For those called "comforters" who dry my tears, unafraid of my weeping.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

POCKET GODS AND GRAVEN IMAGES

THE SECOND COMMANDMENT

Read Exodus 20:4-6.

Thou shalt not take unto thee any graven image . . . (Exodus 20:4).

A primitive people needed to be thus instructed because they were much given to making idols of a palpable sort. We do not do these things, but whenever we give power to anything but God, we are making that thing into a graven image. For example, we give power to our ailments, particularly if it is a favorite ailment. We all know people who say, "My rheumatism," and they say it quite lovingly. Been with them a long time! Has become a conversation piece! Others say, "My indigestion." We are making a graven image of these things. It is only when we take power away from them that we can heal them.

If you forget God and worship graven images of any kind, you are going to suffer. You can demolish a stone statue; you can burn a wooden one. The way to destroy mental images is to stop thinking of them and giving them power.

This commandment goes on to say, "For I the Lord thy God am a jealous God." Moses does not mean that God is jealous like a man, but that God must have first place. The trouble with many pious people is that they want God to be vice president, keeping the presidency for themselves. So the Bible uses the word "jealous" in the sense that if you give power to anything but God, you have lost God altogether. You cannot have a percentage of God. Either God is the only power, or nothing at all.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Pass the Cream Cheese

I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

When I began public speaking, I was invited to address a B'nai B'rith men's group, which met at a Jewish temple for a lecture, discussion, and buffet breakfast on a Sunday morning. As I began my talk, I was disappointed to see that the group was inattentive and seemed uninterested in my presentation. Some of the men smoked cigars as I spoke, others picked through their wallets, and during the guided meditation, several opened their eyes and scanned the bagel-and-cream cheese buffet. When I was finished, I was sorry I had come; it seemed that I had chosen the wrong crowd for my subject matter, and I felt as if my time had been wasted.

The following week, I received several telephone calls from organizations to which members of the B'nai B'rith group had recommended me. These callers wanted me to serve as a guest speaker and teach ongoing classes. Apparently a number of people in that group were impressed with my presentation and wanted to share it with their other affiliations.

We never really know what the effects of our service will be. Sometimes it appears that nothing is happening, or no good is coming, when behind the scenes, important changes are occurring, and progress is being made. This is why we must never judge the results of our service on surface appearances. Imagine that any good that you do, or intend to do, is being received by the right people at the right level for the right purpose.

Give me the faith to remember that Your hand is moving my life.

I act with confidence, knowing that Spirit is working through me for the benefit of all.