Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - August

[bluidkiti]

August 20

Step by Step

"We watch the alcoholic performing in a position of responsibility and we know that because he is drinking heavily and daily he has cut his capacities by 50 percent, and still he seems able to do a satisfactory job. And we wonder how much further this man could go if his alcoholic problem could be removed and he could throw 100 percent of his abilities into action. But, of course ...eventually the alcoholic loses all of his capacities as his disease gets progressively worse, and this is a tragedy that is painful to watch; the disintegration of a sound mind and body." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three, Ch 12 ("The Keys of the Kingdom"), p 308.

Today, can I remember or even acknowledge the gradual and steady disintegration of myself as a drinking alcoholic? If I cannot, I must remember to appreciate and even treasure that AA has moved me forward and beyond that abyss of irrevocable physical, emotional and spiritual hopelessness and self-destruction. And in comparing then to now, I can rely on my higher power to strengthen me should temptation arise. Today, despite or in spite of any problems I face, I must be grateful that I am not making them worse by drinking or using. I prefer whatever challenges I face sober instead of those I had drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

COMMON SENSE

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our world.

~ Buddha ~

Common sense is a good approach to living in our recovery program. The Tenth Step of our Program states that it is wise to pause often to analyze all our choices. Hurried remarks or actions can lead to errors. We learn that when we are wrong we promptly admit it.

That admission, of course, reflects honesty and humility at their very best. We grow in understanding and effectiveness. A hasty remark or behavior can injure or anger the person at whom it is directed. All too often, this results in embarrassment and hurt. Our responsibility to carry the message does not entitle us to ram it down the throats of even those who badly need our advice.

I should always think before I act or speak. Common sense reminds me, “to know what I know and to know what I don’t know is knowing what it's all about.”

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist.

~ Gail Sheehy ~

We don’t learn anything new from successfully doing things that we have already mastered. We learn from our mistakes and the obstacles that appear in our path. They call on us to come up with new skills. We have certainly come to this path after facing plenty of challenges. And we know that a problem doesn’t guarantee that growth will be the outcome.

A problem or a challenge can simply be a net loss until we turn it into an opportunity for growth. If we make a mistake and simply feel stuck in shame and regret, it leads to nothing more. But if we have an element of faith, we can look for its message. That is the path to greater strength and maturity.

Today I will notice my mistakes and use them to grow.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

There is no healing without forgiveness. I love the peace I feel with forgiveness.

~ Helen Casey ~

The program is helping us understand that when we feel resentful or angry, we are hindering our own recovery as well as our Higher Power’s plan for us. We cannot receive God’s full message if we are trapped by our hateful feelings.

Why would we want to continue our agitation toward someone else, particularly when it means we can feel no peace? The answer lies in our struggle to be “right” in every situation. Being right rather than peaceful remains too important to us. But observing women who are serene will enlighten us about the possibilities for change the program promises. These possibilities can be ours if we change our attitude, develop the willingness to let go of past hurts, and live in a forgiving present.

It may sound difficult to live in a forgiving present, but it’s not. We make the decision and then ask God to help us. Our hearts will heal and our resentments will be gone. Peace can become our permanent companion.

Serenity is my goal today; forgiveness of others is the way I can achieve my goal.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am finding forgiveness

Now that I'm in dual recovery I am looking at my life more closely—and I can see more of the mistakes I've made. There are lots of smaller ones and some big ones, too. At times, it feels overwhelming. At times, I feel deeply discouraged.

But it usually helps when I take the time to settle down and remember some points I've learned in the program. In recovery it is not uncommon to feel bad about past behavior. Everybody makes mistakes; I am beginning to learn from mine (and go on to explore who I am and what I want). Finally, even with my faults, I am accepted.

I will write out an affirmation that says, "I accept myself—faults and all."

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

When I lose my Higher Power,
I always find Him in the garden.

~ Jill H. ~

During active addiction, our spiritual lives were bankrupt. We knew just our own tiny comer of the universe, and it was usually a grim one. We were alone and lost. Now, in recovery, we find a great gift: a chance to develop a whole new relationship with a Higher Power. This can strengthen and sustain us during the worst of times, and fill our lives with love every day.

Once, we doubted the existence of anything so positive, so loving. We felt if there was a Higher Power, it must be a cruel and vindictive force. Now, everywhere we look, we see evidence that a Higher Power exists, and can bring us hope and joy.

For many of us doubters, prayer and meditation have become the most important and satisfying parts of our recovery program. Prayer in the morning helps us start the day with calm confidence, instead of confusion and anxiety. Prayer during the day helps us re-contact our spiritual selves, get back in touch with the important issues of our lives, and leave petty concerns. And prayer before sleep brings us peace to end our day, and communion with our Higher Power through the night. These are all parts of our newfound spirituality.

Today let me be grateful to my Higher Power for bringing light and joy to my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.

~ Author unknown ~

It may be hard for you to find anything humorous as you work on your recovery. After all, addiction is quite serious, and how it affected you and impacted your life may be far from comedic.

So when you hear others laugh at a meeting or listen as someone tells a lighthearted story of how she came to AA, you may feel as if these people are not taking their recovery seriously. You may think that your problems must be much worse than theirs because you cannot find the humor in them. Or you may believe that you must have lost much more in your life than others have. After all, how could they laugh if they had experienced devastations similar to yours?

And yet without being able to approach your recovery with some sense of humor, it may be harder to rise above your difficulties. Humor has a way of diffusing conflict, lightening burdens, and easing resentment and anger. Humor can also provide a useful defense against difficulties, challenges, and hardships so that you are better able to rise above them, rather than let them defeat you.

Humor helps to part the dark clouds in my life so the sun may shine. I will find humor in my recovery so I can approach it with a lighter heart.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You can observe a lot just by watchin’.

~ Yogi Berra ~

Our sight is one of our most valuable senses. We can lose our hearing and have our senses of smell, taste, and touch eliminated, yet our eyes will provide us with all the information we need for hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling.

We can picture in our minds a person we admire greatly. We can even visualize that person's expressions. We may be able to see that person's confidence, strength, and unity just in those expressions. We can imagine the person's lips moving and, without hearing a voice, we can see by the body movements how the person presents a being full of confidence and hope.

Can we picture ourselves and how we come across to others just by what they see? Are our words trying to mask the sad expression on our faces? Are we honest with how we feel and show this? We can let people observe us and let them see openness and honesty through all their senses.

Can the words I speak reflect who I am? Let me observe others and myself to truly feel he real person within.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Growing slowly

Our Higher Power has a divine plan for each of us. It may take awhile for us to understand our place in it, however. We may not know what we are supposed to do; we only know what we’re not to do. We may feel empty at times. If during these painfully slow times, we can have faith that things will change, we can learn to endure the uncertainty with less fear.

During such times it may seem to us that nothing is happening. But just as mountains finally emerged from the restless terrain, so will growth emerge in our lives after a period of stress. Growth can emerge only if we are patient.

Is my faith strong enough for slow and steady growth?

Higher Power, help me to be patient and faithful in this time of unsteady change and steady growth.

Today I will strengthen my faith by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is hard to be good.

~ DIOGENES LAERTIUS ~

Newcomer

I chair a meeting once a week now. It involves opening up, closing, getting a speaker, setting out literature and chairs, and making sure everything gets put away. Last night there were two or three people I'd have liked to talk with after the meeting, but they were already involved in conversations. By the time I finished the cleanup, they were gone.

Sponsor

One of the reasons that service is so strongly recommended to us in early recovery is that it gets us to a meeting and helps us connect with other recovering people. It sounds as if this service commitment has somehow backfired for you: you're feeling isolated at the meeting, perhaps a bit resentful. I have a few practical suggestions: you can ask at the break for volunteers to clean up and put things away, and you can postpone supervising or participating in the cleanup while you reach out to some people for conversation after the meeting. You might even consider letting the speaker know that you hope he or she will call on you; sharing is another way to combat feelings of invisibility. If we're taking care of ourselves, making sure that our own needs are being met, we can serve with ease and pleasure.

Today, I take my need for sharing and connection seriously and place it high on my list of priorities. I seek opportunities to connect with others, rather than waiting for them to come to me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Some time ago, I felt it necessary to make a record of the various sums of money owed me for my occasional handouts for a flop, or to get clothes out of hock, or to replace the false teeth lost or broken on the last binge. The total amount began to grow to staggering proportions and I became very unhappy—so unhappy, in fact, I tore the record up and now I am happy again.

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(NEW)
~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) The trouble with many of us is that in trying times, we stop trying.

2) AIDS: Addicts Injecting Dirty Syringes

3) People who say you can’t talk about drugs in an AA meeting are usually on them

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Gentle and Soothing

Higher Power, what have I cried out for since my first breath, if not serenity and tranquility’
Only when I made a decision of surrendering to Your will did my life change.
I then made myself open.
To the gentle serenity of Your peace,
To the soothing tranquility of Your love

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

BLUEBEARD DRAWS THE LINE

We make spiritual progress by putting God into every corner of our lives. Most people on the spiritual path are willing to give God a generous portion of their lives, but there is often one little comer where they do not wish the divine Light to shine.

Bluebeard, you remember, kept open house, with the exception of one little room—and there he drew the line. His current wife, or any of the neighbors could go all over the premises and welcome, until they came to that one little room, the Bluebeard chamber, that was forbidden. Yet that one little locked-up room contained the tragedy of the house.

The contents of the Bluebeard room need not be anything that we usually call horrible. There may just be selfishness, laziness, spiritual pride, or any of the more "respectable" but very deadly sins. There may be an old grudge or bitter remorse.

Open every door of your soul to God. Have no place where the light of His presence does not shine.

The secret things belong unto the Lord our God. . . (Deuteronomy 29:29).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Let’s Do Lunch

When a needy person stands at your door God Himself stands at his side.

~ Hebrew Proverb ~

"I had the most wonderful day today," DeAnn told me. "I took a beggar to lunch. As I was about to enter a restaurant, he stood at the door and asked me for a handout. I felt inspired to ask him, "Would you care to join me for lunch?" His eyes nearly popped out of his head! Eagerly he answered, ‘Sure.' We had a good talk, and I gained some insight into his life. He told me he didn't look forward to sleeping on the street in the middle of winter, so on my way home I dropped him at a motel and paid for his room. I can't remember the last time I felt so much peace."

While we may be prone to shy away from desperate or troubled people, a great treasure lies in serving them. Jesus said, "Whatever you do for the least of your brothers, you do for me." Many of us have high ideals for human service, but how many of us reach beyond our comfort zone to practice them? To care for the careless and house the homeless is to put love into action.

My teacher Hilda once asked me, “What would you like to stand for in this life?"

Immediately I answered, "Love."

"Can you love those who are unkind to you or different from you?" she asked.

I had to be honest. "Not always."

"Then you have not yet mastered love," she told me "When you can love all equally, only then can you say you know how to love."

I was inspired by DeAnn's example. The next day, I tried to connect more with the people I met in public. I smiled and said "Hi" to the policeman directing traffic in a construction zone; I tried to catch the eyes of the man taking my order for tires; and I chatted with a cook about his vacation plans. Funny, in the midst of a busy day of errands, those moments are the ones I remember.

Give me the strength to go beyond judgment, that I may meet everyone in the domain of the heart.

I behold the God in everyone and serve everyone as I would be loved.