Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - August

[bluidkiti]

August 22

Step by Step

" ...I never got into jail. I didn't get into a sanitarium, either. I wanted to die, and often I would think of ways. ...Once, when I called my analyst and told her I was contemplating death, she came over and tried to get me into a sanitarium. Frightened and shamed, I refused and sobered up temporarily. I was not mugged or manhandled. I did not resort to semi-prostitution for the price of a drink. But all these things could have happened. The sanitarium should have happened. I was not fit to be on the loose, and there was no one to commit me." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Stopped in Time," Ch 13 ("Stars Don't Fall"), pp 411-12.

Today, what came with my drinking: jail, psychiatric hospitals, electroshock, getting mugged, whoring myself for booze, a botched suicide attempt with whiskey and anti-depressants. These are things that can happen again, and such is the life that looms if I cave into temptation to drink again. Do I really want to risk going back there? No, and I don't have to! I'm in AA now, and it's given me the choice not to drink. If temptation or whatever weak moment catches me off guard, God grant me the wisdom to remember what active alcoholism is really about and not to romanticize those drinking days with any so-called good times. If those times had really been good, I would have had no reason to reach out to AA. But I did have a reason; pray I never forget it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

RESPONSIBILITY

I am responsible for myself; my recovery, my well-being, my happiness, all these things are, ultimately, my own responsibility.

~ Anonymous ~

Our Higher Power does not lay claim to our free will. We can choose not to be responsible and make ourselves more miserable by going to new levels of despair and depression. Or we can seize every opportunity for a better life. We are responsible.

When we were newcomers and just getting started, we were generally very confused. We welcomed the support. Many of us were fed up with our lives and would have freely turned them in for a different model. But we learned to put into action what we were learning. We are responsible.

Our sponsors give us good advice and sound instructions. We can choose to listen to the advice or not. We are responsible.

Although we will always be dependent on God for our strength, it is up to us to ask God for that strength and do the necessary work to receive it. We are responsible.

Today, I'll remember my Higher Power has given me free will to accept or reject responsibility. My life is better when I act responsibly.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.

~ Aldous Huxley ~

What does it take for a man to be called experienced? Who do we turn to when we look for someone who knows the ropes? We aren’t likely to seek out someone who has lived a chaotic life and still remains in the midst of his chaos. But if a man has been there and learned from his experience, he stands taller than everyone else. He is a kind of hero with much to teach us.

Most of us have plenty of experience. But how can we learn from our experience? We need to stop, take time to reflect, and be honest with ourselves. When we are immersed in busy lives, never taking time to slow down, we cannot learn from our wealth of experience. We only pile one event upon another and run from one demand to another. We can change that by adding time for reflection and contemplation to our schedule. A day off with no demands is valuable for the soul. A retreat to a quiet place, time for fishing, or golf, or hiking is not self-indulgence when we understand that we are on a spiritual path. Twenty minutes of quiet every day for solitude and reflection makes us wiser, stronger men for the lives we are leading.

Today I will take time to reflect, to be honest with myself, and to absorb the lessons of my experiences.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In a storm, the tree that bends with the wind is the one that survives to grow tall.

~ Brenda Schaeffer ~

Sometimes we don’t pick our battles rationally. Resistance from anyone, about anything, can make us miss the splendor of the moment. There is another way to live. We may not have observed it often in our own families, but we can learn the pattern nonetheless. It’s called nonresistance.

Nonresistance means we stop trying to make something happen in only one way—our way. Nonresistance is refreshing. Suddenly we have more energy for fun activities, and we discover our presence is sought more often by the people we care about.

Giving up trying to force situations and people to follow our life plan is like doubling the possibilities for our own life. What a gift letting the rest of the world alone proves to be.

I won’t do battle with anyone today. I am in charge of only myself.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to be supportive

I work Step Twelve to the best of my ability. But sometimes when a friend from group calls me for support, I don't feel like talking. Sometimes I'm simply tired. At other times, my friend may not seem to understand his problem or how to help himself; or perhaps he doesn't seem to listen or appreciate what I have to offer; and then again, maybe he expects too much of me.

I know my reactions are valid and honest, but I need to step back from them a bit. It will help if I remember that (a) being asked for help is a gift; (b) at times, I am difficult to help too; (c) it’s OK to set boundaries; and (d) simply being present to another's pain is a loving, transforming experience.

I will ask my higher power for strength to carry the message with patience and love.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

My relationships depend on being honest with other people.
My life depends on being honest with myself.

~ Angela L. ~

Before our recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction, we didn’t know what honesty was. We thought honesty meant not getting caught. We used honesty like money, spending just enough to get through the day.

But in recovery, we can regain our integrity. Now we can think clearly and know it’s important to be straight with other people, but even more important to be straight with ourselves. Once, we could kid ourselves that our lives were in great shape, and keep using. We could pretend our problems were somebody else’s fault, and keep using.

But we don’t deny our problems with chemicals any more. And we know that when we lie to ourselves, we die a little. We don’t like ourselves very much, then, and need to escape — back to our drug of choice.

Before, being dishonest didn’t matter; we had nothing to lose. Now we’ve regained our health — physically, mentally, and spiritually. Dishonesty could cost us everything, even our lives. But now we also have our program, we have each other, and we have our Higher Power to remind us every day of the freedom honesty can bring.

Today let me look in a mirror and see an honest person looking back.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

~ Jonathan Kozol ~

Have you ever thought that you could be much stronger if only you did not have so many weaknesses? Everyone faces challenges in their lives and embarks on journeys into the unknown. But it is not just those who consider themselves to be strong who are able to succeed. It is also those who are well aware of their weaknesses and who can convert these weaknesses into strengths who also are able to succeed.

Perhaps you are intimidated by large projects or ones that come to fruition after a long period of time. First, create a plan to break down the project into several smaller projects. Or you can formulate a schedule that allows you to measure your progress at the end of each week. By making these simple changes, you can ignore your weaknesses, overcome a negative mind-set, and focus on your strengths.

You can apply this exercise for every challenge you face in life. To convert your weaknesses into strengths, first view what it is you need to do. Next, consider how to meet the challenge by developing a step-by-step plan that works to your strengths. Then use your strengths to carry through with your plan.

I can worry about my shortcomings, or I can work toward my strengths. Which do I choose?

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Never measure the height of a mountain until you have reached the top. Then you'll see how low it is.

~ Dag Hammarskjold ~

What happens when we try to pick up a shell or pretty rock that’s under water? We may have a difficult time with the play of sunlight and the rippling of water. Because we're outside the water looking in, once our hands enter the water our perspective changes.

Many times the overreacting side of our personalities may blow things out of proportion. Mountains become molehills, and vice versa. Because of our sensitivities, we may find it difficult to be objective during certain situations. Because we're taking risks and feeling more vulnerable, we may blindly build unneeded defenses.

We can try to keep our perspectives in line by pausing before reacting. We can ask ourselves to identify what's happening and what action we need to take, if any. Instead of feeling threatened, subjective, or sensitive, we can use the extra time to get the proper perspective on a situation.

Have I blown anything out of proportion today? I can review the situation in order to get the proper perspective.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Letting go

If addiction is about control, recovery is about letting go. If addiction is about denial, recovery is about accepting what is.

As we spend time in the program, we learn something unexpected and amazing: Life is so full of twists and turns, it’s easier to follow along than to try to straighten them out. It’s easier to have fewer expectations because, after all, we have no control over the future or the present.

Can I practice letting go?

Higher Power, help me to be open, flexible, and accepting in my recovery.

Today I will let others make decisions and let go of

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Every day is a god, each day is a god, and holiness holds forth in time.

~ ANNIE DILLARD ~

Newcomer

I still don't seem to have much control over certain feelings. I woke up this morning feeling afraid of things I have to do today. I know I just have to show up and do my part—the results are out of my hands—but I still have that old sinking feeling.

Sponsor

Old feelings and thoughts may continue for some time in recovery, but we don't have to give them the power they used to have. We're blessed with alternatives to our old addictive habits of thinking and behaving. When we wake in fearful anticipation of what the day will bring, it's time once again to take actions that have worked for us so far in recovery.

We begin by expressing gratitude for the new day and for all the days that have led us to it. We can read some literature that comforts and lifts our spirits. We can make a program call. We can take time to nourish our bodies with food.

These morning rituals help us put the day into perspective: we've survived, and we're not alone. This day will not be exactly like any othe4 before it or after it. What lies ahead is certain to hold surprises.

I greet this day with celebration. I am alive.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Had Doctor Bob died in May 1935 he would have died a failure—a man who had wasted years of training and exceptional ability, a despair and a disappointment to his family, his profession and himself.

But Doctor Bob lived for fifteen more years, and accomplished more in that short span than the combined efforts of his entire profession in the treatment of the baffling disease of Alcoholism.

Medicine had treated the drunk like a guinea pig. Dr. Bob looked into the heart and soul of the man. He soon learned that the physical aspect of the case was the least and most temporary of the causes.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

May I Be Happy

I will sit down, quiet my mind, and connect with that which is greater than my small self and pray:

May I be free from fear.
May I be free from suffering.
May I be free from my ego.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be happy

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOU ARE ALWAYS TREATING

You are continually "treating" your conditions with the thoughts that you hold concerning them. What you really think about anything, is your "treatment" of that thing. Many people have the idea that they are only "treating" when they call it "treating," but no matter what you call it, your thought concerning any subject is a treatment. This is the reason visible conditions are always the expression of invisible thought.

If you will begin systematically to treat every side of your life with a series of positive, correct thoughts, and keep to this practice for even a few weeks, you will be amazed to find how much everything will change for the better.

. . . be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind . . . (Romans 12:2).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Power to Heal

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

~ Voltaire ~

A Band-Aid television ad suggests that the healing energy we need is already within is. Our job, the ad implies, is simply to cooperate with the universal healing force. All we need to do is protect ourselves while nature effects the cure. “Cuts and wounds,” manufacturer Johnson & Johnson reminds us, “heal twice as quickly when they are covered with a Band-Aid.” Their new slogan is “The Power to Heal."

What a delight to see the world of pharmaceuticals coming closer to the truth! A Course in Miracles asks:

Who is the physician? Only the mind of the patient himself. The outcome is what he decides that it is. Special agents seem to be ministering to him, yet they but give form to his own choice...They are not actually needed at all. The patient could merely rise up without their aid and say, "l have no use for this." There is no form of sickness that would not be cured at once.

While doctors can facilitate the healing process, the only true healer is God. Even the mending of a small cut is a miracle! What human being has the power to recreate it? To be healed, we do not need to add anything to who we are or what we have. We simply need to become still and allow nature to reinstate us to our rightful condition of well-being.

I open myself to be touched by Your heating power. I lay aside all idols and invite the presence of love to restore my true nature of wholeness.

Health is my natural state, I accept it now.