Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - August

[bluidkiti]

August 30

Step by Step

Today, Step 10 because it is one of the most integral maintenance steps: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." The 10th is the extension of the Fourth in which we "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." We cannot and should not believe that our personal inventory and admission of our wrongs is a one-time exercise. Not only can those wrongs be resurrected in recovery and even after we've asked our higher power to remove them, but "new" defects can and do evolve in recovery. But why should we look in the mirror long after our last drink or use? Failing to do so risks old character defects to rise again, possibly undetected, and a fearless honesty will likely tell us that our active addiction was fueled by those defects. And a relapse, even a so-called "slip," is too high a price to pay for neglecting our maintenance of the progress we seek. Today, I have to muster the honesty required of a continued personal inventory - my recovery is too precious a gift to risk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

WINNERS

Stick with the winners.

~ Anonymous ~

We came to the Program with different opinions about who were the winners. Some of us thought a fat bank account meant winning. Others looked to how little one had lost before coming into the program as criteria for winning. There are those that are smart, some pretty, eithers with good jobs, We discover rather quickly that winning has nothing to do with how one appears to be or what one has.

Winning is about how one lives. Therefore, we want to watch the men and women who have had time in the Program. We don't look for just birthday numbers. We watch how the Steps have been and are being worked. We look for the men and women who exhibit humility, gratitude, and spirituality. The winners are usually the ones involved in service. They understand that to keep what they have, they must give it away. The winners freely share their experience, strength, and hope with all of us.

I want to stick with the winners. If I do, the winners will stick with me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

It’s just human. We all have the jungle inside us. We all have wants and needs and desires, strange as they may seem.

~ Diane Frovlov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure ~

Sex is a driving force in our lives. Many of us in recovery find that our sexuality is another part of our fives that is changing. Some of us suddenly find we can’t perform in sobriety as we did while we were using. Others of us are recovering from addiction to sexual behaviors. When we are facing difficulty with our sexuality, it is sometimes hard to think of it as a source of pleasure and reward.

In fact our sexuality can recover and heal, just as any other aspect of our personality can recover. Grown-up, adult sex is more comfortable, more sensuous, and more fulfilling than adolescent sex. That is only possible when we are sober and awake to our fives. Many of us need to start by tuning in to our bodies and the sensations we experience now in our sobriety. Along with that, we may need to embrace the fact that we deserve to have sexual pleasure, not as something we are owed, but as something we can seek and indulge in. These changes happen gradually over time as recovery progresses.

Today I am grateful for the energizing force of sex and passion in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I cannot have what I want if I do not wish it for others.

~ Betty MacDonald ~

Envy is familiar to many of us. We may spend far too much time comparing ourselves with others and grading ourselves as inadequate. Focusing on what others have never allows us to feel grateful for our blessings or generous in spirit. Paradoxically, what we want for others comes back to us.

This is a simple principle, but like other new ideas, we have to “wear it” for a while to get its meaning; we have to practice it faithfully to get its effect. Perhaps initially we can better see its reverse. Let’s recall a few times when we have harbored mean thoughts toward another or wished ill will on an acquaintance. Our own spirit felt the repercussions. Maybe bad luck didn’t overtly trip us, but we never feel good for long when we cultivate a mean-spirited attitude. Everyone is served by our good wishes. Let’s work on that today.

If I catch myself feeling jealous or mean, I’ll take charge of my thoughts. Only I can turn them around.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to keep talking

I feel sad, sometimes even helpless these days. Sometimes I end up crying at work and then I feel worse—fragile, out of control. Even if I tried to talk about my fears and feelings, I don't think anyone would understand.

Or would they? Am I just feeling sorry for myself? When I start feeling this bad, it's tough for me to get past my shame and fear of rejection. But if I don't try I start to isolate myself and that only makes matters worse. Perhaps I really do need to talk. I need to keep moving through the pain.

I will call a caring friend to listen to me. If need be, I can begin the conversation by stating the truth: it’s hard for me to be open with my feelings.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I can hear music- sweet, sweet music.

~ Brian Wilson ~

We often find it helpful to think about the role music has played in our lives. Sometimes, it has been a problem for us: time spent listening to loud, blaring music was a time of physical and emotional isolation, usually under the influence of drugs.

In recovery we may find ourselves drawn to a different kind of music, that speaks to our changing way of life. Perhaps it is more soothing or relaxing. Perhaps it is a new artist.

Whatever type of music we choose, we find it is much more than a pastime for us. It is an appreciation. Our favorite artists, our favorite songs: some never change, some do.

Our relationship with music is growing and changing. In recovery we find music engages our minds and relaxes our bodies in a new way. Music lifts our spirits, too. We are grateful that music is part of our life and that we now have a chance to think about it and perhaps even develop some new interests. Music is an excellent way to get to know other people, helps us unwind after a hard day, and adds a new dimension to our enjoyment of life.

Today I thank You for music. Help me to love and appreciate it even more now that I am sober.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Ritual will always mean throwing away something....

~ G.K. Chesterton ~

A young student of Zen came upon a chapter in his reading that talked about how a cat must be tied up before the meditation ritual could begin. Confused, he sought an explanation.

Long ago, the Zen master told him, a spiritual teacher was about to begin his evening meditation with his pupils when a cat who lived in the monastery started to howl outside the door. Its howling was so distracting that the teacher ordered the cat to be tied up. After the teacher died, the cat continued to be tied up during a meditation session. Then, after the cat died, another cat was obtained so that it, too, could be tied up during meditation. Tying up a cat, the Zen master explained, had simply become part of the ritual. “But it serves no purpose,” the young student pointed out. “You are right,” said the Zen master and immediately tore the chapter out of the meditation book.

If a routine or habitual way of doing something in your life is no longer helping you, it may be time to get rid of it. You can replace it with a beneficial habit, or simply let it go.

I will hold on to those routines and habits that help me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses.

~ Chinese proverb ~

Remember reading fairy tales where elves would come in the middle of the night to build toys or repair broken dreams or help another have more free time? They would work furiously, yet happily, knowing they were doing something that person really needed or wanted. They asked for no reward; in fact, they didn’t even stay long enough to see the surprised, smiling faces. They knew without seeing the results that they were creating happiness and gratefulness in another.

We can do the same thing for others. We can decide to be more caring, to watch for opportunities to reach out to others. We can bring some flowers to a friend. We can remember someone's special treat. We can write a letter or send a card or make a long-distance phone call.

I will brighten the life of another tomorrow, by doing something special and unexpected. I will feel the joy of giving and brighten my day, too!

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Accepting others (and ourselves)

We must guard against judging other people: As we judge, so are we judged. In other words, if we keep thinking that others will slip, we are more likely to slip ourselves.

It seems that unconsciously we try to feel better about our own character defects by projecting them onto others. If we practice accepting ourselves, however, we will be better able to accept others.

To help this practice, we must realize that our defects will be removed by our Higher Power in time, as long as we desire and pray that they be removed. We must also realize that we are not perfect and that we need and deserve love.

Can I fully accept myself and others?

Higher Power, help me to accept others by working on self-acceptance.

I will work on what I find difficult to accept in myself today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

If you don't remember history accurately, how can you learn?

~ MAYA LIN ~

Newcomer

Someone from my past called yesterday. He left the message that he'd be speaking with me soon. I haven't seen this person since I started recovery. I know he can't take my recovery away from me, but I feel threatened. All I can think of, when I imagine seeing him again, is how the two of us used to act out together.

Sponsor

People, places, and things from our past continue to be an issue even after the first few months of recovery. It takes time to accumulate enough sober experience for the habit of recovery to feel stronger than the habit of acting out our addictions. Even now that saying no and asking for help have begun to seem like second nature to us, we're not invulnerable. People with long-term recovery have been known to have relapses.

You're right: another person can't take recovery away from us. But why subject ourselves to stresses that endanger our serenity and our sense of connection to people in the program? Sentimental feelings about the past and hopes of leading others to recovery are better put on the shelf, Relationships based on mutual enabling and acting out have no place in our recovery.

Today, I have a healthy respect for my disease. I keep my serenity by avoiding people, places, and things related to my addiction and by staying close to the fellowship.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

You can't swim like a fish, run like a deer, fight like a tiger, or fly like a bird. Every one of your five senses is excelled by some member of the animal kingdom. Man, physically, has many superiors and would long since have been extinct but for the fact that he alone possesses reasoning power.

With this advantage he can build ships to outswim the fish, motor cars to outrun the deer, perfect weapons to out fight the tiger, and airplanes to outstrip the fastest of birds. With this reason he can visualize the reason behind all Nature and thus avail himself of a Power greater than himself and all the forces with which he has to contend.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Healthy Pride

O Lord, deliver me from false pride. Before recovery, my false pride led to grandiosity, arrogance, egotism, self-pity, misunderstanding, and fear. My misguided pride was out of control, and I thought I knew everything. In recovery, I have learned my accomplishments are not mine alone. I rely on the guidance of others and faith in my Higher Power. When I indulge in false pride, I close my mind, which desperately needs to be open. Healthy pride in my progress, if coupled with gratitude and humility, will not cause harm. Help me, Lord, remove the intellectual false pride that blocks me from others and the principles of our Program.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TOWER OF BABEL

And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech (Genesis 11:1).

Read Genesis 11:1-9.

The story of the tower of Babel is so simple, so concrete, and so clear, that if you only heard it once when you were a child you could never forget it. It is, of course, a parable. The word Babel means confusion and this parable teaches that when you deny the omnipotence of God, and you do this whenever you give power to anything else, only confusion can follow. To be guilty of that sin is really to have many gods, and that was the characteristic fault of the heathen. Those who knew the truth about God worshiped Him and Him alone, and they received the protection and the inspiration that only the Truth can give. At times, however, many of those who had known the Truth, forgot it for a season, and inevitably things began to go wrong.

If you should be in difficulties of any kind, it is certain that you have been committing the sin of the heathen in some way; it may be that at some point you have seen the higher and deliberately chosen the lower. Now, if you will tum back to God once more, and reaffirm your faith in Him, all will be well again.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Choice for Divinity

The spirit is smothered as it were, by ignorance, but so soon as it is destroyed, light shines forth like the sun when released from clouds.

~ Shankara ~

I knew a man named Jessie who was an idiot savant, the technical name for someone who is partially mentally handicapped and partially a genius (like the character played by Dustin Hoffman in Rainman). One day while I was sitting with Jessie, he casually asked me, "What day were you born?" When I told him the date and year, he blurted out, “That was a Tuesday.” Astonished, l threw some more dates at him, and with equal swiftness, he rattled off the precise days of the week on which the events occurred. A few minutes later, Jessie was led on to a little yellow school bus because he was unable to find his own way home. He could not dress himself, drive a car, or handle money—but he could calculate long-gone dates as rapidly as a computer.

In a way, each of us embodies the characteristics of an idiot savant. We are sometimes inept at making common sense decisions, yet moments later the wisdom of the ages shines within us, bubbling forth when we need it.

There was a time when I developed a huge physical desire for a certain woman. Every time I saw her, I was amazed by how quickly my mind and values would go to jelly. Then she asked me for a counseling session, and the most wonderful miracle happened. The moment she began to speak, I felt a sense of clarity and truth roll through me, and I was able to move beyond my primal attraction and be very helpful to her. My bodily desire gave way to a sense of service, which opened up an important channel to assist her. She walked away with a gift, and I walked away amazed.

At any moment, we can play the fool or the genius lf we happen to revert to madness for a moment, let us have compassion for our humanity; we are bound to make mistakes. At any moment, we can claim our spiritual power and bring the highest light and service to any task at hand; our results will proceed naturally from our intentions.

Let me be all I can be; I allow You to live through all of me.

I am a spiritual being going through a human experience.