More Recovery Readings - August

[bluidkiti]

August 19

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A tree grown in a cave does not bear fruit. --Kahlil Gibran
A tree planted in a cave would soon be stopped short in its growth. There would be no room for it to grow tall or blossom. It would only grow so far and then would grow no bigger.
Fear can be like a cave. We sometimes become fearful for the same reason we might enter a cave, looking for protection. But fear protects us from the new ideas and behavior we need in order to grow. Fear can keep us huddling inside it, watching life's opportunities pass by. When fear threatens to enclose us, we can take a deep breath and begin to do what we are afraid of doing. The cave will fade away as we step out into the sun, fresh air, and storms that are a part of growing.
What fear can I overcome today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Many of us grew up in situations that required us to be constantly on our guard. We became so keenly attuned to the people around us and how to please them or avoid their anger that we lost contact with our inner messages. Rather than developing skills for drawing upon our inner resources, we developed skills for looking outward and reacting to whatever confronted us. This method of survival may have been necessary in the past while we were under stress, but it doesn't allow us any rest or the possibility of simply following what we know and feel is right.
We are learning to know what we think and feel and to express it, even if it isn't always what others want to hear. We can be spontaneous now because we have room for mistakes in our lives. Our relationships are more reliable, and we have more energy from sincerity than from always striving to make a good appearance.
Today, it is more important for me to be sincere than to be on my guard.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
...to have a crisis and act upon it is one thing. To dwell in perpetual crisis is another. --Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Exaggerating the negative element in our lives is familiar behavior for all too many of us. But this obsession is our choice. We can stop at any moment. We can decide to let go of a situation that we can't control, turn it over to God, and be free to look ahead at the possibilities for happiness.
Perhaps we can learn to accept a serious situation in our lives as a special opportunity for growth first of all, but even more as an opportunity to let God work in our lives. We learn to trust by giving over our dilemmas to God for solutions. With patience, we will see the right outcomes, and we will more easily turn to God the next time.
Crises will lessen in number and in gravity in direct proportion to the partnership we develop with our higher power. The stronger our dependence on that power, for all answers and all directions, the greater will our comfort be in all situations.
Serenity is the gift promised when we let God handle our lives. No crisis need worry us. The solution is only a prayer away.
I will take action against every crisis confronting me--I will turn to God. Each crisis is an invitation to serenity.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Shame
Shame is that dark, powerful feeling that holds us back. Yes, shame can stop us from acting inappropriately. But many of us have learned to attach shame to healthy behaviors that are in our best interest.
In dysfunctional families, shame can be tagged to healthy behaviors such as talking about feelings, making choices, taking care of ourselves, having fun, being successful, or even feeling good about ourselves.
Shame may have been attached to asking for what we want and need, to communicating directly and honestly, and to giving and receiving love.
Sometimes shame disguises itself as fear, rage, indifference, or a need to run and hide, wrote Stephanie E. But if it feels dark and makes us feel bad about being who we are, it's probably shame.
In recovery, we are learning to identify shame. When we can recognize it, we can begin to let go of it. We can love and accept ourselves - starting now.
We have a right to be, to be here, and to be who we are. And we don't ever have to let shame tell us any differently.
Today, I will attack and conquer the shame in my life.


I value myself today. I value everything about me. I am finding people who value me as much as I value myself. I am attracting people who treat with me with love and respect. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Your Destiny Is Now

The train seemed to move endlessly toward the horizon as I drove along beside it. To me, trains symbolize destiny. For a long time, the concept of destiny confused me. I wondered how to find my destiny. I hoped I had one. I wondered what it would feel like when I got there. But destiny doesn't bewilder me anymore. I enjoy seeing trains.

Destiny isn't some distant place, or a peak of fame and fortune. Destiny isn't one moment in our lives, one time when we shine for all the world to see. Those moments are nice, if they come. But there's more destiny than that.

Destiny is now. Destiny is each moment of our lives, shining through, linking together, like the endless cars on the train. Destiny means embracing each moment, being present for it, cherishing it because it is our now. Whether it holds exhilaration, discovery, sadness, tough decisions, or tender love, each moment is our destiny. Those moments of destiny link together in an endless chain to become our lives.


Let yourself live and be in each moment, with each person, learning each lesson along the way. Destiny isn't someplace we go. Destiny is where we are.

*****

more language of letting go
Enjoy and share the gifts

My friend was talking on the phone to his sister one day. They had a little sibling rivalry going on, but it was the good, motivating kind.

"I'm going to Asia," he said.

"Well, I've been to Africa and helped build a hospital there," she said.

They bantered back and forth about the places they'd been and where they hoped to go next. Then they decided that you got points only for how cool the trip had been-- and what you learned and what you did with the experience after you were there.

"You helped build that hospital for kids. You get a lot of points for that," he said. "But you don't get any points for Denmark. All you did was change planes. You didn't even look around and enjoy the sights. We'll have to talk again, in a few years, and see how many points we each have."

It's been said before, but it's important enough to say again: It's not just where you go; it's what you do with it that counts. Are you having great experiences, but keeping them to yourself? Are you bothering to get out of your chair and see the sights in your world, or are you staring at your TV? Are you trudging your path, but not gleaning any insights along the way? Are you doing anything of value with what you've learned, even if it's sharing your experience, strength, and hope with a close friend?

How many points do you have for really cool trips?

Part of saying thanks is sharing our lives with the world. The other part is learning to enjoy our lives, ourselves. Live and love and learn and see things; then pass those things on.

Don't just say thanks. Demonstrate your gratitude for life by living as fully as you can.


God, help me commit to doing something of value and service with the gift of my life, even if that means simply enjoying what I'm experiencing right now.

*****

Remember the Light Side
In Praise of Fun

by Madisyn Taylor

During our journey we can become very serious, it is important to remember to have fun along the way.


Often when we talk about fun, or doing things just for fun, we talk about it in a dismissive way as if fun isn’t important. We tend to value hard work and seriousness, and we forget to pay our respects to the equally important, light side of silliness and laughter. This is ironic because we all know the feeling of euphoria that follows a good burst of laughter, and how it leaves us less stressed, more openhearted, and more ready to reach out to people. We are far more likely to walk down the street smiling and open after we’ve had a good laugh, and this tends to catch on, inspiring smiles from the people we pass who then positively influence everyone they encounter. Witnessing this kind of chain reaction makes you think that having fun might be one of our most powerful tools for changing the world.

Laughter is good medicine, and we all have this medicine available to us whenever we recall a funny story or act in a silly way. We magnify the effects of this medicine when we share it with the people in our lives. If we are lucky, they will have something funny to share with us as well, and the life-loving sound of laughter will continue to roll out of our mouths and into the world.

Of course, it is also important to allow ourselves to be serious and to honor that side of ourselves so that we stay balanced. After a great deal of merriment, it can actually be a pleasure to settle down and focus on work, or take some time for introspection until our next round of fun begins. Published with permission from Daily OM

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One More Day

The past should be culled like a box of fresh strawberries, rinsed of debris, sweetened judiciously and served in small portions, not very often.
– Laura Palmer

Many of us may dwell in the past, telling ourselves our yesterdays were better than our tomorrows will ever be. Living in “what was” can be dangerous, for we may be less adaptable to life’s changes.

Fond memories are healthy when they remind us how our lives are formed and shaped by our experiences. Memories reveal our development into the productive people we are today. Life does get better every day because we have both the joys of the present and some sweet memories of the past. We not only survive, we regain happiness and our peace of mind by living for today and by appreciating all the today’s and yesterdays.

I will not live in the past, but instead will look to each day as new and promising.

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A Day at a Time

Reflection for the Day
"How does The Program work?" newcomers sometimes ask. The two answers I most often hear are "very well" and "slowly." I'm appreciative of both answers, facetious as they may first sound, because my self-analyzing tends to be faulty. Sometimes I've failed to share my defects with the right people; other times, I've confessed their defects, rather than my own; at still other times, my sharing of defects has been more in the nature of shrill complaints about my problems. The fact is that none of us likes the self-searching, the leveling of our comings which The Steps require. But we eventually see that The Program really works.

Have I picked up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at my feet?

Today I Pray
May God keep me from laying out my defects by comparing them to someone else's. We are, by nature, relativists and comparers, who think in terms of "worse than ..." "not quite as bad as ..." or "better than ..." May I know that my faults are faults, whether or not they are "better than ..." others'.

Today I Will Remember
Bad is bad, even when it is "better than."

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Food For Thought

Highs and Lows

Abstaining from compulsive overeating does not guarantee that we will always be on an even keel emotionally. We continue to have ups and downs, and often we feel emotional distress even more keenly when we are no longer using food as a narcotic.

Part of our program involves the striving for balance and perspective. Experience teaches us not to get carried away by either elation or depression. These are moods, which will not last, and we prefer to base our actions on the rational decisions, which we make in times of quiet reflection.

Contact with OA friends during periods when we are either high or low helps to put our emotions in perspective. By expressing what we feel, we are better able to deal with it. Some of us tend to make calls when we are up and others of us reach for help when we are down. Ideally, we will make contact both times so that we may strengthen each other and learn not to be overwhelmed by mood swings.

May I remember that You can control my highs and my lows.