More Recovery Readings - August

[bluidkiti]

August 24

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
To those of us who knew the pain
of valentines that never came
and those whose names were never called
when choosing sides for basketball.
--Janis Ian
Each of us at some time has known the feeling of not belonging; the painful emptiness of feeling left out. We've stood on the sidelines longing to be invited into what we think is some sort of magical circle. If only they would ask us in, we think, we'd be transformed--we'd be somebody then.
But look around. The circle is composed of people just like us: insecure at times, frightened, unsure. They have felt anxiety and feared rejection just as we have.
The pain will pass, and if we use these times to get to know and understand ourselves a bit better, we'll be better able to understand others when they're feeling left out and lonely. And when it's our turn to choose a team or send a valentine, we'll remember.
Who can I remember today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There is no greater weakness than stubbornness. If you cannot yield, if you cannot learn that there must be compromise in life - you lose. --Maxwell Maltz
Glass is very hard, but fragile. By contrast, leather is tough and resilient. A blow to a glass dish will break it, but a blow to a shoe will just be absorbed. Our program leads us to avoid the folly of being hard like glass, and we become tougher like leather. We must endure surprises, pressures, and blows from the world as a normal part of life. The more able we are to absorb the blows, the stronger and more whole we are as men.
A friend who has a different opinion from ours can be listened to and his ideas considered. There is no need to compete with him or prove that we are right. When our plan for a project at work gets set aside, we will feel the frustration but we need not come apart over it. Perhaps our Higher Power is leading us to a better plan. Frustrations with spouses or friends can be turned over to our Higher Power. We do not have a rigid recipe for life, and we must be open to more learning.
I will surrender my fragile stubbornness in exchange for the toughness I can learn in compromise.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
There were many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream--whatever that dream might be. --Pearl S. Buck
No new door is opened without the inner urge for growth. Dreams guide us, encourage us, stretch us to new heights--and leave us momentarily empty when they are dashed.
Recovery has given us resilience and a multitude of reasons for living. We have come to understand that when one dream serves us no longer, it is making way for an even better one. Our dreams are our teachers. When the student is ready, a new one comes into focus.
Dreams in our earlier years often come to nought. They couldn't compete for our attention as effectively as the self-pity. The direction they offered was lost. Each day that we look forward with positive anticipation, we put the wreckage of the past farther from our minds.
Our dreams are like the rest areas on a cross-country trip. They refresh us, help us to gauge the distance we've come, and give us a chance to consider our destination.
Today's dreams and experiences are points on the road map of my life. I won't let them pass, unnoticed.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Step Eight
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. --Step Eight of Al Anon
The Eighth Step is not meant to punish us; it is meant to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord.
We begin by making a list of everyone we have harmed on our journey, as we have struggled to survive. We have probably done more damage to ourselves than to anyone else, so we put ourselves first on the list.
Often, our tendency is to feel guilty about everything we've ever done, everyone we've come in contract with. That is unearned guilt. Writing helps us clarify whether or not we are punishing ourselves for no reason. But we need to be open to guidance as we work this Step, getting everything out of us and on to paper, so we can be healed.
Once we have made the list, we strive to become willing to make amends to everyone on it because that is how we heal. Making amends does not mean feeling guilty and ashamed and punishing ourselves; it means swallowing our pride and defenses, and doing what we can to take care of ourselves. We become ready to improve our self-esteem by taking responsibility for our behaviors. We become willing to have our relationships with ourselves, others, and our Higher Power restored.
Today, I will open myself to an honest understanding of the people I have harmed. God, help me let go of my defenses and pride. Help me become willing to make amends to those I have harmed, so that I can improve my relationships with others and myself.


I no longer want to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Today I take the time to slow down and examine the source of my difficulties so I can move on a clear path with freedom. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Let the Lesson Reveal Itself to You

"What's the next lesson?" I asked.

"If you knew what it was, you wouldn't need to learn it," he said.

Often, in the midst of a lesson or experience, we tighten our mind into knots trying to figure out what we're learning, what's coming next, what the lesson is really about. But if we knew what the lesson was about, we wouldn't need to be learning it.

The learning we're doing on our spiritual path is often not possible from our heads or books. It's a process of discovery, it includes many twists, turns, surprises, and upsets, much confusion, wondering and stumbling until we reach a moment of clarity. To learn the lesson, we need to go through the experience. And usually we learn best when we're a bit vulnerable and uncertain about what we're learning.

Trust that the lesson will reveal itself to you when it's time. Stay present for this moment. Let your experiences and guidance unfold. You're evolving and learning and growing right now. When the transformation is complete, you'll see what you've learned.

Other people may be there to help us, touch us, guide us along our path. But the lesson to be learned is always ours.

*****

more language of letting go
Celebrate who you are

Today, celebrate who you are. Yes, you have much in common with other people. But you're also uniquely you.

Grab a piece of paper and something to write with. Now write down:

1. A lesson that you have learned in life.

2. A talent that you have, no matter how quirky.

3. Your favorite meal.

4. The name of a friend who respects and likes you for who you are.

5. An activity that you enjoy.

Now, pick up the phone and call your friend. Invite him or her to a celebration with you. Do the activity that you enjoy-- go for a walk, go to a ballgame, sit at home and watch videos, whatever you like to do. Then prepare your favorite meal or go to a restaurant and have them prepare it. Show your friend your talent-- remember this person likes and respects you for who you are. So if you can balance a Ping-Pong ball on the tip of your nose, go ahead and do that. Show him or her how good you are. Talk to your friend about the lessons you have learned, and invite him or her to share a lesson learned from you.

Instead of fussing and worrying about how different you are, be grateful that you're unique.

Celebrate being you.

God, thanks for me,too.

*****

A Chance to Contribute
Disarming the Know-It-All

by Madisyn Taylor

People that are know-it-alls are simply stuck in a pattern and may actually have feelings of low self worth.

Most of us have encountered a person in our lives who can accurately be referred to as a know-it-all. This person seems to know everything about anything that gets brought up and tends to dominate the conversation. They don’t take well to being questioned, and they have a hard time ever admitting that they were wrong.

Being around a know-it-all is inevitably tiring because there is no shared energy between the two of you. Rather, you become an audience member to this person’s need to be the center of attention. Attention and respect are probably the two things this person most longs for, and at some point in their lives, they learned that knowing it all was the way to get those needs met. Over time, they have become stuck in this pattern, regardless of the fact that it is no longer working. They may feel afraid of the experience of listening, being receptive, or learning something new, because it’s so unfamiliar.

On the one hand, when we see the childlike need underneath the know-it-all’s mask of confidence, we feel compassion for the person, and we may tolerate their one-sided approach to conversation out of a desire not to hurt their feelings. On the other hand, we may be feeling drained and tempted to avoid this person altogether. In the middle of these two possible ways of feeling, we may actually like this person and wish for a closer relationship. If we come from a place of kindness, we might attempt to bridge the gap that this person’s habitual way of relating creates. Simply expressing a desire to be closer may open their heart, and give you a chance to ask for what you need in the relationship—a chance to contribute. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Some of us, after we’ve taken the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, and then the Seventh Step, sit back and simply wait for our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings. The Program’s teachings remind us of the story of St. Francis working in a beautiful garden. A passerby said, “You must have prayed very hard, to get such beautiful plants to grow,” The good saint answered, “Yes, I did. But every time I started to pray, I reached for the hoe.” As soon as our “wait” is changed to “dig,” the promise of the Seventh Step begins to become reality. Do I expect my Higher Power to do it all?

Today I Pray

May I not just pray and wait — for my Higher Power to do everything. Instead may I pray as I reach for the tools The Program gives me. May I ask now for guidance on how I can best use the precious tools.

Today I Will Remember

Pray And Act

*****

One More Day

Faults are thick where love is thin.
– James Howell

We often overlook the faults of people we love. Sometimes, in fact, our love so blinds us that we don’t have to overlook their faults, because we don’t even see them. Yet if our love wavers or if a friendship begins to weaken, it may seem as though our friends have developed numerous flaws or maddening habits.

When this happens, we learn to reassess our relationship and ourselves. Rather than conclude that our loved one has become less than he or she was before, we know that change has occurred within us. Then we decide whether the friendship is important enough to try to rebuild it.Sometimes it is, and we work to recapture the trust and communication we once had. Sometimes it isn’t, and we decide to let go of it and, in doing so, let go of resentment and fault-finding.

The decision to rebuild or to let go of friendships often rest within me.

************************************************** ****************

Food For Thought

Exercise

We are made to be physically active. When we were loaded down with food and fat, we probably moved around as little as possible. Now that we eat for health, we have the necessary energy to exercise our bodies.

Taking the stairs rather than the elevator, walking instead of riding, a few simple calisthenics when we need a break from work, a jump rope – there are many ways to begin an exercise program in easy stages. We do not need to train to become Olympic athletes, but we do need to keep our bodies in good working order.

Each day we also need mental, emotional, and spiritual exercise. Reading something worthwhile, refraining from criticism, performing a service for someone anonymously, taking time for prayer and meditation –these are actions which develop our minds, hearts, and spirits. Our growth in the program depends on overcoming resistance and inertia each day and taking concrete steps to improvement.

By Your power, may I overcome laziness.