More Recovery Readings - September

[bluidkiti]

September 2

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind. --Bob Dylan
A family is like a windchime; each member hangs in delicate balance with the others. When a problem develops for one family member, the rest of us often take on roles to try and deal with the situation. But what happens to our windchime when we're all pulling and pushing in different directions? Our balance is lost and we either all clash together or none of our chimes connect at all and there is only painful silence.
If we let go and trust in that spiritual force beyond ourselves, we discover that it is like the wind. It moves our windchime gently with a soothing breeze that allows us to relax in our places or move together as the force directs us. It brings out the beautiful harmonious notes we weren't able to produce ourselves.
How can I help us make better music together today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. --Geoffrey Norman
Exercise changes our thought patterns in beneficial ways. Often we may feel irritable or blue and see nothing we can do about the situation. Then we are amazed at what simply going for a half hour walk will do. Although our situations don't change, we are changed in how we respond to them. Exercise - whether going for a walk, working in the garden, playing ball, or scrubbing a floor - clears our minds. After some physical movement we find our thoughts getting clearer. Ideas come to mind that help us cope, and our spirit is energized.
Science has demonstrated that many serious cases of depression respond just as well to a program of vigorous daily exercise as to traditional treatment. In a sense, our Higher Power speaks to us through our muscles and bones when we move them. This spiritual experience, like many others, never comes from thinking about it, only from doing it.
Today, I will make time for physical activity.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
If I had to describe something as divine it would be what happens between people when they really get it together. There is a kind of spark that makes it all worthwhile. When you feel that spark, you get a good feeling deep in your gut. --June L. Tapp
How lucky we are, that we can experience that divine spark with one another, and with all recovering women. The program offers us the chance, every moment of our lives from this day forward, to experience divinity. All we are asked to do is be there, for one another, to share fully who we are. Vulnerability gets easier as we learn that we can trust each other, that we can share pain, that it's okay to pull and prod and follow, first you and then me and then her.
What a thrill it is to leave our competition behind! The program bonds us together, and the bond will strengthen each of us, but it can elude us, too. It often does when we forget to be there, in one another's presence, when the opportunity comes.
I need these sparks to nurture my growth, singly and collectively. I will be part of a divine experience today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Detaching with Love with Children
It's one thing to let go of my husband and let him suffer the consequences. But how do I let go of my children? Isn't it different with children? Don't we have responsibilities as parents?
We do have different responsibilities to our children than to other adults. We are financially responsible for our children; we are responsible for providing for their material and physical needs.
Our children need to be taught how to help themselves - from tying their shoes to making social plans. They need our love and guidance. They need consistent enforcement of boundaries, once we've established limits. They need a supportive, nurturing environment in which to grow. They need help learning values.
But we are not responsible for controlling our children. Contrary to popular belief, controlling doesn't work. Discipline and nurturing do - if combined. Shame and guilt interfere with our children's learning and our parenting. We need to respond to our children in a responsible way and hold them accountable for their actions at an age appropriate level. We need only do our best.
We can let our children have their own process of living; we can have our own process. And, we can take care of ourselves during that process. Seek balance. Seek wisdom, Seek not to have control, but to own our power as people who are parents.
Today, God, help me find an appropriate balance of responsibility to my children. Help me parent through nurturing and discipline, instead of control.

All my needs are being met easily and effortlessly today. I simply turn them over to my Higher Power and do the footwork. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Listen to the Voice of the Soul

Listen to your soul. It speaks quietly, yet clearly, about what it wants, what it needs, what it’s learning, what it yearns for. It speaks of its fears and dreams, its hopes and needs.

Learn to listen to the souls of others,too. Listen not only to the way people chatter and exchange ideas. Learn to listen to what they’re really saying.

“My son is nineteen. He’s moved away from home. He talks all the time about wanting to be grown up, wanting his independence. So my husband and I have really tried to give him his freedom,” one woman said. “Yet recently, when he had a crisis, I heard for the first time what he was really saying. Don’t go too far. Call me often. Be there for me. Let me know you’re there.Let me know you still care. Now I try to call him every day, just to tell him I love him and to let him know I’m close by. The crisis he had wasn’t the issue. Not really. What he was really saying was he needed us.”

Go beyond what you hear with your ears. Learn to hear what you’re really saying, and what others are really saying to you.

Souls do talk. Listen quietly. Listen to your own. Learn to hear the voice of others. A little soul talk goes a long way.

*****

more language of letting go
Coping devices

We may do less-than-logical things to cope with tragic events. We don't do these things because we're silly. We do them because it's the only way we know to survive.

One of the silliest things we do to cope with life is devaluing ourselves when bad things happen to us.

We might have experienced a lot of pain while we were growing up. So as a child we looked around and said, "Yup. This must be my fault. There's something wrong with me." Or, "I know if I would have kept my room cleaner, my daddy wouldn't have gone away."

Low self-esteem-- and all the ways it manifests-- becomes a way of coping with painful events. We look around and see all the people who don't appear to have our level of problems, so we may conclude. "There's something wrong with me." Although adapting a posture of low self-esteem might have been a way of surviving pain, that time has passed. It's time to replace low self-esteem with new perspectives.

Stop coping with events bt devaluing yourself. Instead, respond to life by loving and taking care of yourself.

Love yourself just as you are.


God, help me love myself for who I am now.

Activity: Do a review of your self-esteem. Go back over past events from your childhood, teenage, and adult years. What painful events occurred? Did you give away your self-esteem to certain people? Now is a time to claim your self-esteem and take it back. Write down positive areas of your life. Write down what you friends and family members appreciate about you.

*****

Let Your Confidence Shine
Our Insecurities

We all have insecurities, what we think we see about another person is usually what they want us to notice.


At some point in our life there may come a time when we feel insecure about ourselves. We might judge our ability to do something or feel self-conscious about the way we look. It does not matter how this feeling manifests in our life, but it is important to be aware of our thoughts and how they impact our view of ourselves. Once we remember that insecurities are a normal part of life for everyone—even those who appear to be extremely self-assured—we may find it easier to step back from the uncertainty that lies within and take a more realistic look at ourselves.

The desire to improve or better ourselves is a natural response that arises when we begin to compare our lives to those of other people. It might seem, for example, that we do not have nearly as much going for us as our neighbor, best friend, or coworker. In truth, what we think we see about another person is usually what they want us to notice. They may be putting on a mask, trying to make things in their lives seem better than they are. If we were to look at their lives a little more closely, we would also realize that they are human, full of glorious imperfections that make them who they are. Recognizing this may take some time at first. Should we, however, feel our uncertainties begin to surface, taking deep breaths while at the same time acknowledging each one of our gifts will help us become more centered. Doing this allows us to see the wonders that lie within and lets our inner beauty shine forth into the world all the more brightly.

When we hold up such a detailed mirror to our lives and weigh ourselves against others, we are not able to see the things that make us truly unique. Giving ourselves permission to appreciate all the universe has given us, however, will make us feel more secure about ourselves and more able to use our gifts to their fullest. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When I wake up, I’ll think quietly about the twenty-four hours ahead. I’ll ask God to direct my thinking, especially asking that it be free from self-pity and from dishonest or self seeking motives. If I have to determine which of several courses to take, I’ll ask God for inspiration, for an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then I’ll relax and take it easy, confident that all will be well. Can I believe that when I give up my “rights” of expectations, I’ll know freedom?

Today I Pray

I praise God for being able to praise God, to choose the times when I will seek Him, to find my own words when I talk to Him, to address Him in the way that seems most right to me. May I expect that He in turn must be free of my expectations, to affect my life as He sees fit.

Today I Will Remember

Who am I to try to tell God what to do?

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One More Day

My coat and I live comfortably together. It has assumed all my wrinkles, does not hurt me anywhere, has molded itself on my deformities, and is complacent to all my movements. I only feel its presence because it keeps me warm.
– Victor Hugo

The anticipation of school beginning each fall is fueled by youngsters’ love of newness – new clothes, new shoes, new books, new teachers. We still enjoy newness, but we also find comfort in what is old and reliable. No afghan comforts quite as well as the one that was knitted with loving hands many years ago. We may have a favorite mug or chair. Over years we have developed trusting and dependable relationships. While we remain open to change, we also feel comfortable with what is old and familiar.

I’m glad I can find comfort in the old and familiar, and excitement in the new and unfamiliar.

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Food For Thought

Stop Overeating, Start Living

Physical abstinence is just the beginning of the new life OA offers to us. When our Higher Power controls our life, we become free of the mental obsession with food. Then we are able to get down to the business of living, which we avoided with our illness.

Rather than reaching out with both hands to grab and hold on to all we can get, we begin to think in terms of giving and serving. We may start by sharing what OA has done for us with newcomers to the program. It is the newcomer who is our reminder of who we were and where we came from.

We find that though we can never eat spontaneously, we can live much more spontaneously than before. Because we feel less guilt and fear, we can experience the joy of acting from the center of our being. Knowing that our Higher Power is in control, we have trust and faith that the results of our actions will be okay. Each day becomes less of a trial and more of an opportunity.

Today, may I experience the spontaneity that comes with Your control.