Today's Thought - April

[bluidkiti]

April 1

She knows omnipotence has heard her prayer and cries "it shall be done—sometime, somewhere."

~Ophelia Guyon Browning

Patience is a quality that frequently eludes us. We want what we want when we want it. Fortunately, we don't get it until the time is right, but the waiting convinces us our prayers aren't heard. We must believe that the answer always comes in its own special time and place. The frustration is that our timetable is seldom like God's.

When we look back over the past few weeks, months, or even years, we can recall past prayers. Had they all been answered at the time of request, how different our lives would be. We are each on a path unique to us, offering special lessons to be learned. Just as a child must crawl before walking, so must we move slowly, taking the steps in our growth in sequence.

Our prayers will be answered, sometime, somewhere. Of that we can be sure. They will be answered for our greater good. And they will be answered at the right time, the right place, in the right way.

I am participating in a much bigger picture than the one in my individual prayers. And the big picture is being carefully orchestrated. I will trust the part I have been chosen to play. And I can be patient.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

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April 2

A.A. Thought for the Day

I don't believe that A.A. works because I read it in a book or because I hear people say so. I believe it because I see people getting sober and staying sober. An actual demonstration is what convinces me. When I see the change in people, I can't help believing that A.A. works. We could listen to talk about A.A. all day and still not believe it, but when we see it work, we have to believe it. Seeing is believing. Do I see A.A. work every day?
Meditation for the Day

Try saying: "God bless her (or him)" of anyone who is in disharmony with you. Also say it of those who are in trouble through their own fault. Say it, willing that showers of blessings may fall upon them. Let God do the blessing. Leave to God the necessary correcting or disciplining. You should only desire blessing for them. Leave God's work to God. Occupy yourself with the task that He gives you to do. God's blessing will also break down all your own difficulties and build up all your successes.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may use God's goodness so that it will be a blessing to others. I pray that I may accept God's blessing so that I will have harmony, beauty, joy, and happiness.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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April 3

I drink only to forget myself for a moment, that only do I want of intoxication, that alone.

~Omar Khayyam

What has been our drug of choice? It may be alcohol. It may be sugar or gambling or dependent relationships. Some men have used anger, sex, sports, or the accumulation of money. Growing in this program, we learn there is a great brotherhood among us. Our problems have not been only with a certain substance or a given behavior. We have been seduced and trapped by a ritual of forgetting ourselves. If we hadn't found one way, we may have found another. In giving one up, we often found ourselves drawn to a new substitute.

Now we are learning to accept ourselves and to forget ourselves in healthier ways. We all need to move beyond the bounds of an oppressive ego. In our old style, we could not learn healthy releases because we were hooked on unhealthy ones. Now we are learning meditation, making friends, helping others, and letting go as ways to forget ourselves.

I pray for help today in staying away from self-destructive intoxications so I am able to learn healthy releases.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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April 4

Crying only a little bit is no use. You must cry until your pillow is soaked. Then you can get up and laugh…

~Galway Kinnell

Many of us were raised to deny our feelings; that is, we might have been allowed to describe them politely, but we were not allowed to express feelings on the spot by wailing, jumping for joy, or dancing. This is often considered rude. In a proper home, we often hear, if people have feelings, they have them quietly. But many of us have suffered living this way.

We need a full and thorough expression of a feeling in order to know it, experience it, and move beyond it. This is the way we let go of sadness, for instance.

Feelings come and go. If we are not afraid to let them have their moment, we will not be afraid to express them.

What am I feeling right now?

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April 5

Anger at Family Members

Many of us have anger toward certain members of our family. Some of us have much anger and rage—anger that seems to go on year after year.

For many of us, anger was the only way to break an unhealthy bondage or connection between a family member and ourselves. It was the force that kept us from being held captive—mentally, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually—by certain family members.

It is important to allow ourselves to feel—to accept—our anger toward family members without casting guilt or shame on ourselves. It is also important to examine our guilty feelings concerning family members as anger and guilt are often intertwined.

We can accept, even thank, our anger for protecting us. But we can also set another goal: taking our freedom.

Once we do, we will not need our anger. Once we do, we can achieve forgiveness.

Think loving thoughts; think healing thoughts toward family members. But let ourselves be as angry as we need to be.

At some point, strive to be done with the anger. But we need to be gentle with ourselves if the feelings surface from time to time.

Thank God for the feelings. Feel them. Release them. Ask God to bless and care for our families. Ask God to help us take freedom and take care of ourselves.

Let the golden light of healing shine upon all we love and upon all with whom we feel anger. Let the golden light of healing shine on us.

Trust that a healing is taking place, now.

Help me accept the potent emotions I may feel toward family members. Help me be grateful for the lesson they are teaching me. I accept the golden light of healing that is now shining on my family and me. I thank God that healing does not always come in a neat, tidy package.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

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April 6

Love between two people is such a precious thing. It is not a possession. I no longer need to possess to complete myself. True love becomes my freedom.

~Angela L. Wozniak

Self-doubt fosters possessiveness. When we lack confidence in our own capabilities, when we fear we don't measure up as women, mothers, lovers, employees, we cling to old behavior, maybe to unhealthy habits, perhaps to another person. We can't find our completion in another person because that person changes and moves away from our center. Then we feel lost once again.

Completion of the self accompanies our spiritual progress. As our awareness of the reality of our higher power's caring role is heightened, we find peace. We trust that we are becoming all that we need to be. We need only have faith in our connection to that higher power. We can let that faith possess us, and we'll never need to possess someone else.

God's love is ours, every moment. Recognition is all that's asked of us. Acceptance of this ever-present love will make us whole, and self-doubt will diminish. Clinging to other people traps us as much as them, and all growth is hampered, ours and theirs.

Freedom to live, to grow, to experience my full capabilities is as close as my faith. I will cling only to that and discover the love that's truly in my heart and the hearts of my loved ones.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

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April 7

A.A. Thought for the Day

The A.A. program is one of faith because we find that we must have faith in a Power greater than ourselves if we are going to get sober. We're helpless before alcohol, but when we turn our drink problem over to God and have faith that He can give us all the strength we need, then we have the drink problem licked. Faith in that Divine Principle in the universe which we call God is the essential part of the A.A. program. Is faith still strong in me?
Meditation for the Day

Each one of us is a child of God, and as such, we are full of the promise of spiritual growth. A young person is like the springtime of the year. The full time of the fruit is not yet, but there is promise of the blossom. There is a spark of the Divine in every one of us. Each has some of God's spirit that can be developed by spiritual exercise. Know that your life is full of glad promise. Such blessings can be yours, such joys, such wonders, as long as you develop in the sunshine of God's love.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may develop the divine spark within me. I pray that by so doing I may fulfill the promise of a more abundant life.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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April 8

Gardening is an active participation in the deepest mysteries of the universe.

~Thomas Berry

We grow in our spirituality by participating in activities that convey a sense of awe and mystery. Tending growing plants does this for some of us. Playing and listening to music, appreciating and creating art and literature do it for others. Hiking in the wilderness, camping, fishing, hunting, or photography have the same value. Membership in a religious group and attending services are other important ways. Engaging in the loving feelings in relationships does this for many of us.

As men in recovery, we need active ways to move beyond the boundaries of our own skins. We need to know we are part of a larger whole which has mysteries we cannot fully solve. When we identify our own ways of being spiritual, we can give them more respect. Perhaps we can also explore some other ways we have not developed.

Today, I will participate in the mysteries and beauties of life.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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April 9

A bird came down the walk: he did not know I saw. He bit an angle-worm in halves, and ate the fellow, raw.

~Emily Dickinson

We must look very different to the birds than we do to each other. Likewise, birds seem different to us than they do to each other. Neither the way we see birds or the way they see us is the "right" way. They are simply different ways of seeing.

If we could turn birds into people so they would see things the way we do, eat the way we do, and think the way we do, we would lose the idea of flying. The knowledge that flight is possible is a gift birds have given us.

We do well to remember this when we get upset at others for not doing things the way we would. Varieties of styles, appetites, and ideas are gifts that enrich the world and bring more possibilities into our lives.

When others disagree with me today, will I accept their gift?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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April 10

Freedom from Self-Seeking

Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives.

~Paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous

There is a difference between owning our power to take care of ourselves, as part of God's will for our life, and self-will. There is a difference between self-care and self-seeking. And our behaviors are not as much subject to criticism as are the motives underlying them.

There is a harmonic, gentle, timely feeling to owning our power, to self-care, and to acts with healthy motives that are not present in self will and self seeking. We will learn discernment. But we will not always know the difference. Sometimes, we will feel guilty and anxious with no need. We may be surprised at the loving way God wants us to treat ourselves. We can trust that self-care is always appropriate. We want to be free of self-will and self-seeking, but we are always free to take care of ourselves.

God, please guide my motives today, and keep me on Your path. Help me love myself, and others too. Help me understand that more often than not, those two ideas are connected.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

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April 11

The rare and beautiful experiences of divine revelation are moments of special gifts.

~Jeane Dixon

Have we discovered what our gifts are? We assuredly have them, and now that we are abstinent we have opportunities, daily, to share them with others. Sharing them knowingly will bring joy to us, but more than that, we will grow in appreciation of ourselves. And we do need to realize how very important we are to others.

Many of us came into this program nearly feet first. Most of us were filled with rage, shame, or both. Life had dumped on us. We had survived only minimally. The knowledge that we had something to offer the human race was not ours, then. It may still be knowledge that escapes us, from time to time. But we can learn to acknowledge it.

We have many talents that are ours alone to offer the world. Perhaps we express ourselves adroitly; maybe we write particularly well. Listening when it's most needed by a friend may be our finest talent today. We might have gifts as a musician or a manager. Our inner self knows our strengths. We can listen for that voice.

God is trying to get my attention today, to direct my energies to make the most of my special talents. I will be aware.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

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April 12

A.A. Thought for the Day

I had to show off and boast so that people would think I amounted to something, when, of course, both they and I knew that I really didn't amount to anything. I didn't fool anybody. Although I've been sober for quite a while, the old habit of building my self up is still with me. I still have a tendency to think too well of myself and to pretend to be more than I really am. Am I always in danger of becoming conceited just because I'm sober?
Meditation for the Day

I cannot ascertain the spiritual with my intellect. I can only do it by my own faith and spiritual faculties. I must think of God more with my heart than with my head. I can breathe in God's very spirit in the life around me. I can keep my eyes turned towards the good things in the world. I am shut up in a box of space and time, but I can open a window in that box by faith. I can empty my mind of all the limitations of material things. I can sense the Eternal.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that whatever is good I may have. I pray that I may leave to God the choice of what good will come to me.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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April 13

Little importance has been given to body awareness. The emphasis is on achievement rather than awareness.

~W. Timothy Gallwey

The outstanding athlete is guided by the feeling in his muscles and bones. He knows as he moves how much force to apply, how to place the ball on target, or how to dive gracefully. Competitiveness and achievement are useful in our lives. Winning provides us with motivation and fun. But when we give primary importance to being a winner, we weaken and lose balance.

Our balance is strengthened through more awareness in all aspects of our lives. If a ruler refused to hear news from a certain section of his country, his leadership would suffer. When we ignore our feelings and don't reflect on our daily lives, we become weaker and less adequate men. As we read this page today, we are opening ourselves to internal messages and opening the windows of awareness.

God, help me find more balance and learn to be more aware.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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April 14

Our deeds will travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are.

~George Eliot

We grow within, the way a tree does. We've all seen the rings representing the years of a tree's life. We carry our histories with us, too. Our actions, our attitudes, our goals, and our dreams all gather together inside us to make us what we are today. We're probably ashamed of some of our past, but our behavior each day adds to our history, and we control it.

We can't escape our mistakes, but we don't have to repeat them; and every day that is lived well gives us a history to be proud of.

How can I add goodness to my past—and my future—by my actions today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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April 15

Giving Ourselves What We Deserve

I worked at a good job, making a decent salary. I had been recovering for years. Each morning, I got into my car and I thanked God for the car. The heater didn't work. And the chance of the car not starting was almost as great as the chance that it would. I just kept suffering through, and thanking God. One day, it occurred to me that there was absolutely no good reason I couldn't buy myself a new car—that moment—if I wanted one. I had been gratitude-ing myself into unnecessary deprivation and martyrdom. I bought the new car—that day.

~Anonymous

Often, our instinctive reaction to something we want or need, "No! I can't afford it!"

The question we can learn to ask ourselves is, "But, can I?"

Many of us have learned to habitually deprive ourselves of anything we might want, and often things we need.

Sometimes, we can misuse the concept of gratitude to keep ourselves unnecessarily deprived.

Gratitude for what we have is an important recovery concept. So is believing we deserve the best and making an effort to stop depriving ourselves and start treating ourselves well.

There is nothing wrong with buying ourselves what we want when we can afford to do that. Learn to trust and listen to yourself about what you want. There's nothing wrong with buying yourself a treat, buying yourself something new.

There are times when it is good to wait. There are times when we legitimately cannot afford a luxury. But there are many times when we can.

Today, I will combine the principles of gratitude for what I have with the belief that I deserve the best. If there is no good reason to deprive myself, I won't.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

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April 16

To expect too much is to have a sentimental view of life, and this is a softness that ends in bitterness.

~Flannery O'Connor

Having too high expectations is a set-up for disappointment. Expectations that are high lend themselves to a fantasy life, and reality can never match our fantasies. When we get hooked on the fantasies, somehow thinking they are reality, or should be reality, we are vulnerable to the hurt that accompanies the emergence of "the real." Then we feel cheated—bitter: "Why did this have to happen to me?"

Having too high expectations was a familiar feeling before recovery. And it remains familiar to us, even now. Dreams and aspirations aren't wrong. In fact, they beckon us on to better and greater things. But dreams of what we can become through responsible choices are quite different from idle expectations of what will or should be.

Every moment of every day opens the way to my aspirations that enhance reality. I will be open and receptive to reality and its gifts.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

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April 17

A.A. Thought for the Day

One thing that keeps me sober is a feeling of loyalty to the other members of the group. I know I'd be letting them down if I ever took a drink. When I was drinking, I wasn't loyal to anybody. I should have been loyal to my family, but I wasn't. I let them down by my drinking. When I came into A.A., I found a group of people who were not only helping each other to stay sober, but who were loyal to each other by staying sober themselves. Am I loyal to my group?
Meditation for the Day

Calmness is constructive of good. Agitation is destructive of good. I should not rush into action. I should first "be still and know that He is God." Then I should act only as God directs me through my conscience. Only trust, perfect trust in God, can keep me calm when all around me are agitated. Calmness is trust in action. I should seek all things that can help me to cultivate calmness. To attain material things, the world learns to attain speed. To attain spiritual things, I have to learn to attain a state of calm.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may learn how to have inner peace. I pray that I may be calm, so that God can work through me.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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April 18

There is no shortcut to life. To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned.

~Harrison E. Salisbury

There are no perfect days. We have struggled hard against this truth. In our demanding ways, we haven't wanted life to be a process; we have wanted to reach a secure point of arrival. We have struggled against the dialogue and learning process of experience. We've looked for a "fix" and for perfection. Even now in recovery we long to "get it right." We continue to learn and to grow, but the lessons we learn are not the things we expected. We grieve the lateness of our learning, and then we go on to learn more.

As we grow in this program, we learn how to learn. We become more accepting of life as a process with no shortcut to the truth. We learn to engage in the process and accept that there usually is no right or wrong answer at the end of our search.

Today, may I accept the truth which comes from the lessons of my experience—and be tolerant of its incompleteness.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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April 19

I would be honest, for there are those who trust me.

~Howard Arnold Walter

Some of those around us seem to see only the good in us. They trust and respect us, even when we ourselves may not feel we deserve it. A young girl once talked about her grandfather. She said, "He was the only person in my life who saw the good in me." She mentioned that she sought to please her grandfather and not disappoint the trust which he placed in her.

He brought out the best in her because of the way that he looked at her. Each of us can be like this grandfather by focusing on the good in other people. We can use our spiritual eyes to see love, honesty, trustworthiness, and unselfishness in the heart of another. As we look for the good, we are doing our part to help create it.

Do I see the good in those around me right now?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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April 20

Property Lines

A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.

If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative, that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.

If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person’s property.

People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.

People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Other people's choices are their property, not ours.

What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.

Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with my issues, my responsibilities, and myself. I will take my hands off what is not mine.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

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April 21

Miracles are instantaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves, usually at unlikely moments and to those who least expect them.

~Katherine Anne Porter

Each of us has miraculously been summoned to the road to recovery. We no doubt felt hopeless many times. We no doubt pleaded, aimlessly and to no one in particular, for help. And then it came. Many of us probably do not know just how. But we can look around at one another and appreciate the miracle in our lives.

We still have days when the going is rough. Days when we feel twelve years old, unable to handle the responsibility of our lives, in need of a mother to nurture us and assure us that the pain will pass. We can look to a sponsor on those days. We can look for someone else to help. We can also reflect on how far we've come. Gratitude, in the midst of distress, for all the gifts of recovery eases the pain, the fear, the stress of the moment.

The miracles continue in my life. Every day offers me a miracle. Thankfulness today will help me see the miracles at work in my life and in the lives of other women on the road to recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

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April 22

A.A. Thought for the Day

In A.A. we find a new strength and peace from the realization that there must be a Power greater than ourselves that is running the universe and that is on our side when we live a good life. So the A.A. program really never ends. You begin by overcoming drink and you go on from there to many new opportunities for happiness and usefulness. Am I really enjoying the full benefits of A.A.?
Meditation for the Day

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." We should not seek material things first, but seek spiritual things first and material things will come to us, as we honestly work for them. Many people seek material things first and think they can then grow into knowledge of spiritual things. You cannot serve God and Mammon at the same time. The first requisites of an abundant life are the spiritual things: honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. Until you have these qualities, quantities of material things are of little real use to you.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may put much effort into acquiring spiritual things. I pray that I may not expect good things until I am right spiritually.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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April 23

The work will teach you how to do it.

~Estonian proverb

We learn this spiritual program as we learned to ride a bike or to swim. We could never get it from reading a book. We only learn it by doing it and by following the example of others. As we first entered the program, we may have thought, "Oh I understand this. In twelve meetings I'll have it licked."

Many men have had difficulty trusting, so we try to understand everything before we get involved in it. But as long as we try to figure it out first, we remain on the outside looking in. Doing the practical things in this program—taking inventories and making amends, praying for guidance from our Higher Power, carrying the message to others, selecting a sponsor, will teach us the essentials for spiritual recovery.

Today, I will take the risk of learning by living the spiritual life.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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April 24

Growth is the only evidence of life.

~John, Cardinal Newman

We should be thankful we can never reach complete serenity. If we could, we would never have the need to improve ourselves. We would stop growing, because there would be no reason to learn any more than we already know, and we would become bored. Even the things which seem so serene in nature usually contain a struggle within. A lake, with a swan gliding slowly across it, seems a perfect picture of serenity. But, unseen below the surface, fish, turtles, and frogs struggle each day for survival.

The important thing is to accept the struggles as a part of the beauty of life, not as blemishes on it.

What struggles shall help me grow better today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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April 25

Don't stop living your life!

So often, when a problem occurs, inside or around us, we revert to thinking that if we put our life on hold we can positively contribute to the solution. If a relationship isn't working, if we face a difficult decision, if we're feeling depressed, we may put our life on hold and torment ourselves with obsessive thoughts.

Abandoning our life or routines contributes to the problem and delays us from finding the solution

Frequently, the solution comes when we let go enough to live our life, return to our routine, and stop obsessing about the problem.

Sometimes, even if we don't feel like we have let go or can let go, we can "act as if" we have, and that will help bring about the letting go we desire.

You don't have to give up your power to problems. You can take your focus off your problem and direct it to your life, trusting that doing so will bring you closer to a solution.

Today, I will go on living my life and tending to my routine. I will decide, as often as I need to, to stop obsessing about whatever is bothering me. If I don't feel like letting go of a particular thing, I will "act as if" I have let go of it until my feelings match my behavior.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

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April 26

If we are suffering illness, poverty, or misfortune, we think we shall be satisfied on the day it ceases.

~Simone Weil

Perhaps it's the human condition never to be satisfied and yet always to think, "If only…" However, the more we look within for wholeness, the greater will be our acceptance of all things, at all times.

So frequently we hear that happiness is within. But what does that mean when we may have just lost the job that supported us and our children? Or when the car won't start and funds are low? Or when we are feeling really scared and don't know whom to talk to or where to go? "Happiness is within" is such a grand platitude at those times.

Nevertheless, our security in any situation is within, if we but know how to tap it. It is within because that is where the strength we are blessed with resides, the strength given us from the power greater than ourselves. "Going within" takes, first, a decision. Next, it takes stillness, and then, patience. But peace will come.

We will quit wanting when we have learned how to turn to our inner strength. We will find serenity rather than suffering.

I will go within whenever I feel the rumblings of dissatisfaction today. I will look there for my joy and sense of well-being and know that divine order is in charge.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

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April 27

A.A. Thought for the Day

If we get up in a meeting and tell something about ourselves in order to help the other person, we feel a whole lot better. It's the old law of the more you give the more you get. Witnessing and confession are part of keeping sober. You never know when you may help somebody. Helping others is one of the best ways to stay sober yourself. And the satisfaction you get out of helping a fellow human being is one of the finest experiences you can have. Am I helping others?
Meditation for the Day

Without God, no real victory is ever won. All the military victories of great conquerors have passed into history. The world might be better off without military conquerors. The real victories are won in the spiritual realm. "He that conquers himself is greater than he who conquers a city." The real victories are victories over sin and temptation, leading to a victorious and abundant life. Therefore, keep a brave and trusting heart. Face all your difficulties in the spirit of conquest. Remember that where God is, there is the true victory.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that the forces of evil in my life will flee before God's presence. I pray that with God I will win the real victory over myself.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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April 28

Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself.

~Gerald Brenan

As teenagers most of us were very self-conscious and concerned about how we looked to others. That was a normal stage in development. But, for many of us, our addictions began at that age, or the addictions of others affected us. Our emotional development stopped. We didn't develop an inner reference point, a relationship with our Higher Power that influenced us and helped us weigh other people's opinions.

In recovery, we resumed our emotional and spiritual development where it had stopped. It is liberating to know that how we feel about something is important. We can follow our interests and pursue our commitments. We need not be ruled by others' feelings. With our regular pattern of taking our inventory, praying, and meditating, we are developing a relationship with ourselves which builds character and maturity.

Today, I will give importance to how I feel, what I believe, and what is interesting to me.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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April 29

If it's sanity you're after, there's no recipe like laughter.

~Henry Rutherford Elliot

A smile is the earliest form of communication. A human infant smiles in the first few weeks of life. As the child grows, it learns how to turn the smile into a laugh—a joyous response reflecting pleasure.

A sense of humor, a feeling of fun, and an ability to laugh are all signs of emotional maturity. Healthy laughter frees us; it is the sunshine that makes life's shadows interesting. When we develop the ability to see the humor in a situation, we gain the ability to handle it.

We were born with smiles. They are as much a part of us as our teeth and hair. Polished and cared for, our smiles can grow into a sense of humor that will help us through the painful times.

How can I turn troubles into smiles today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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April 30

Enjoyment

Life is not to be endured; life is to be enjoyed and embraced.

The belief that we must square our shoulders and get through a meager, deprived existence for far off "rewards in Heaven" is a codependent belief.

Yes, most of us still have times when life will be stressful and challenge our endurance skills. But in recovery, we're learning to live, to enjoy our life, and handle situations as they come.

Our survival skills have served us well. They have gotten us through difficult times—as children and adults. Our ability to freeze feelings, deny problems, deprive ourselves, and cope with stress has helped us get where we are today. But we're safe now. We're learning to do more than survive. We can let go of unhealthy survival behaviors. We're learning new, better ways to protect and care for ourselves. We're free to feel our feelings, identify and solve problems, and give ourselves the best. We're free to open up and come alive.

Today, I will let go of my unhealthy endurance and survival skills. I will choose a new mode of living, one that allows me to be alive and enjoy the adventure.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go