Don;t knwo what to do or where to start

[BW1]

Hi Ihopei totally agree with the previous posts..Wealkies and addicts can be manipulative and very secretive when we are addive in our disease and yes we do indeed have affairs in that our disease lures us into a love affair like no other..We love our disease. Nothing else mattered to me. I even sold my soul to my disease. That is how self centered I became.

Getting into AlAnon would in fact be of great help to you and give you the tools you that you can use to help you. you did not cause this disease. You cannot cure it nor can you control it. Those are the first three "C"s" that they would give you for in your personal spiritual tool box.
Next they would tell you you need not journey alone as it was said also in the previous post. Anyone anywhere in a relationship of anykind with an alkie or an addict regardless of whether they are in recovery or not, it is suggested to be in Al-Alanon.

Al-Anon is modeled after or adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous. It is not a religous program...It is spiritual. Designed for those who suffer as a result of the spiritual malady of alcohol or drugs or the combination thereof. Drugs and alcohol, as it says in the Big Book of alcoholics anonymous; are only a symtom and the suggested steps we take help us to uncover the underlying cause of our disease. and then to grow spiritually. in that growth all we have "is a daily reprieve based on our spiritual condition". We [I] learn to become God relaint not people reliant. I learn that God [for some a Higher power...anything greater than myself] becomes my guide, my compass, my comforter, my evereything and in that I surrender all my secrets my will and my life over to him and then I pass on and become of service to Him by passing on to others what was so freely given to me and put my gratitude into action and work

You see the disease of alcohol or drug addiction is a disease...not a moral issue.

also as it was said..we are herr...please do not aplologize for sharing...as that is what this journey of recovery is about..sharing and caring..the sharing is the "Language of the heart" and we are her to support & encourage each other

Prayers out for you

please come back often